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Friday, January 16, 2009
Pep in your step Five things in your kitchen to spice up your love life
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Fri, Jan 16, 2009 at 7:30 AM
The ultra chill in the air means there is no way in hell anyone wants to go out tonight.
That's why you should invite your partner over to your place (if you're single) or snuggle up with your partner underneath a blanket and stay warm.
But doing it the same way isn't going to keep you satisfied and occupied all weekend. Maybe you didn't have a chance to hit up your favorite adult store to get some things to make sex spicier, but you don't have to because you probably have everything you need in the kitchen.
1. Sugar: Smooth some sugar on your breasts, between your thighs or anywhere else you want to kiss or be kissed. Powdered sugar works very well for this; however, if you want to make your man's cock taste better, mix up some warm water with some sugar, dip his hardness in it and then lick him like a lollipop.
2. Fresh fruit: Lemons, oranges and berries all have juices that can be licked off body parts and lips. Try rubbing a piece of fruit across your lover's lips, tease him or her with the fruit then eat it. Next, kiss your lover and you two will be able to taste each other and the fruit.
3. Ice: Yes it's cold outside, but your heat is blazing and you're ready to give your man or woman some head. Why not make it hot and cold? Slip a piece of ice in your mouth and go downtown as if you're tagging the subway.
4. Peanut butter and jelly: This is going to get messy, but you can paint yourself with peanut butter and paint your lover with jelly and then make sandwiches with each other. Make sure you have plenty of laundry detergent on hand to clean the sheets once your session is over.
5. Whipped cream: Yes, it's cliche. But it's also fun to squirt this cream on to your lover's body and lick it off. For an added treat, don't squirt the cream in the typical places, like nipples, neck and navel. Let your imagination run wild.
Today’s Top(less) 5 Today's top(less) 5: Friday
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Fri, Jan 16, 2009 at 6:30 AM
Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, Jan. 16, 2009— as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.
• Drop the lime at the Forum.
• Couples welcomed at The Gentleman's Club.
• Funked up Friday at Tilt.
• Exclusive Friday's.
• After hours party at The Men's Club.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Misc. Just one of those nights
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Thu, Jan 15, 2009 at 9:32 AM
To some people, this may sound like sour grapes.
But whatever.
Have you ever had a night where all you wanted to was sleep, but your snoozing gets interrupted by someone else's good time? That was my night last night. I turned in early and alone. Wrapped up in my warmest blanket and even skipped my nightly session with Mr. Vibrator. I was just that tired.
Then, around 1 a.m., the sound of banging awakened me. At first I thought, "Oh, shit, someone's breaking in." Then as I became fully awake, I realized I was hearing my upstairs neighbor having what I hope was really good sex.
The banging must have been the headboard or some big toy. The screaming? That was somebody getting it really good or a great actor. I'm no hater; I'm all for people getting a great orgasm, but oh my damn! I'm sleepy.
My first inclination was to head upstairs and knock on the door and ask if I could watch since I was so rudely awakened. A free live-action sex show might have been good. But it was so warm in my blanket.
Next, I thought about just being an asshole and calling the police. But what would I have said to the 911 operator? My neighbor's fucking really loudly and since I'm not getting any, I want him arrested?! Yeah, right.
So, I did what any disgruntled, sleepy neighbor would do: I got my broom and banged on the ceiling. Did it help? Hell no. I doubt if they even heard me. So, I placed my pillow over my head and tried to go back to sleep.
If it happens again, I'm going upstairs with a video camera — because there has to be something extra special going on with all the noise they were making. If they're going to keep me up, the least they can do is let me play camerawoman.
Today’s Top(less) 5 Today's Top(less) 5: Thursday
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Thu, Jan 15, 2009 at 6:30 AM
Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, Jan. 15, 2009— as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.
• Gay speed dating.
• Get "housed" at the G&G Club.
• Kick ass lunch at The Men's Club.
• Karaoke Night at The Fox and Hound.
• $5 dollar penthouse table dance at The Gold Club.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
He said/She said Do we all just want to kiss a girl?
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Wed, Jan 14, 2009 at 9:45 AM
Last night I was talking to a very good friend of mine who shares my love of porn.
She said lately she has been wanting to try something that she's seen in the movies.
"Bondage?" I ask.
"I want to be fucked with a strap-on," she said. "I just want it to be a one time thing. It looks like so much fun."
"Yeah, if Nina Hartley is wearing the strap-on," I replied.
"She does toss those women around and she loves what she does. But I think it would be best if I do it with someone who's just curious, like me."
"But what if she sucks at it? Don't you think you ought to do it with someone who knows how to work the equipment?"
"That's a good point."
"You don't need Katy Perry for this. You need Nina Hartley."
After our conversation ended, I started thinking about women and sex. And it hit me, everybody always wants to have sex with a woman. What is it about our bodies that draw both sexes to us?
At some point do all women want to get it on with another girl? And if we want to be with another woman, why is it that we have to use male shaped toys? Like a strap-on fuck -- isn't that just a girl playing "daddy?"
I hope my friend has fun finding her strap-on lova. I wonder if they will video tape it, because I'd like to watch.
Today’s Top(less) 5 Today's Top (less) 5: Wednesday
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Wed, Jan 14, 2009 at 6:30 AM
Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, Jan. 14, 2009— as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.
• Take it half off at MAL clubs.
• Get wasted at the Gateway Pub.
• Divorce recovery group meeting.
• A Peace of Jazz at Kiss.
• Have a feast at the Men's Club.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
He said/She said Yes, Virginia, you are the other woman
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Tue, Jan 13, 2009 at 9:33 AM
The other day, I was sitting in my favorite restaurant when I heard an interesting conversation.
Two ladies were hunkered over a table talking about one of the girl's "relationship."
Girl 1: "Have you and Ron made up yet?"
Girl 2: "Yes, he came over last night, well early this morning with a rose and he said he was sorry."
Girl 1: "Did he explain why a female answered his cell phone? I mean, that's his private phone so something must have been going on?"
Girl 2: "It was his cousin or something. She was really close to his wife and she doesn't like him seeing other people."
Girl 1: "He was married?"
Girl 2 nods. "He said that relationship is over and when he get's his money together he's going to file for a divorce. He lives with his cousin and her husband."
Girl 1 takes a sip from her glass and leans back in her chair. "So, he's married? Are you like his mistress?"
Girl 2 laughs nervously. "He's separated."
Girl 1 shakes her head. "You're crazy. Until the divorce papers are signed he's married and you are the other woman."
Girl 2 looks visibly shaken and before I can hear the rest of the conversation, my waiter shows up to tell me the specials. Damn.
Being the other woman somteimes gives a woman a slight sense of power. She thinks that she's giving the man something he can't get from anywhere else.
Often, she's only short changing herself because it is cheaper to stay married and cheat than to get a divorce and start a new relationship. And if said cheater decides to leave his woman and become your man, how long do you think it will be before he's creeping out on you?
But why do men cheat? Some say it's biology, others say it's because women outnumber men. I say it's because women allow men to behave badly and forgive them their trespasses.
You can't change a cheater, and as long as some woman is willing to let him play, he's going to.
The other woman may get branded with a scarlet letter and called all kinds of sluts and whores, but in the end, it's the man who made a commitment to his woman. Shouldn't he be held to a higher standard?
In North Carolina, you can be sued for being the other woman. Under the alienation of affection law, you can seek damages from the person who "broke up" your marriage.
And you don't even have to prove that your spouse was having sex with the other person. I bet Jennifer Aniston wishes she'd married Brad Pitt in Charlotte.
Today’s Top(less) 5 Today's Top(less) 5: Tuesday
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Tue, Jan 13, 2009 at 6:30 AM
Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, Jan. 13, 2009— as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.
• Get as bare as you dare!
• Get fit in nature.
• Stay happily married workshop.
• Get Tempted at Tilt.
• Tenderloin Tuesday at The Men's Club.
Monday, January 12, 2009
He said/She said Sexy quote of the day (possibly the year)
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Mon, Jan 12, 2009 at 10:32 AM
Seattle pastor Mark Driscoll responded to the question:
“Pastor Mark, is masturbation a valid form of birth control?”Driscoll doesn’t miss a beat: “I had one guy quote Ecclesiastes 9:10, which says, ‘Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.’ ”
Ah, if only all church services were like this.
Today’s Top(less) 5 Today's Top (less) 5: Monday
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Mon, Jan 12, 2009 at 6:30 AM
Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, Jan. 12, 2009— as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.
•Adventures after 40. RSVP by 5 p.m.
•Steak, shrimp and a lapdance.
•S.I.N. at Club Onyx.
•Continue to drown the sorrow of Carolina's loss with $2 beer.
• Play Texas Hold Em at Caveman's.
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