Thursday, December 18, 2014

Spilling the tea for Christmas

Posted By on Thu, Dec 18, 2014 at 2:14 PM

Tis the season to go on some dates to holiday parties, drinking and being merry. For some it’s the time of year to take that big step toward the M-word (oh come on, you know what I mean — marriage). This week’s story is full of many lessons.

Kenya and Deon had been dating for about three years, and for the first time, he asked if he could go with her to her family’s home for the holidays. Kenya immediately said yes. After all, her family loved him, and she loved him, so there was no question that he’d be welcomed. A couple of days before they left for the mountains, they visit Deon’s aunt and partake in some eggnog. As they are drinking and cackling and being joyous, Deon remembers he left his cellphone in the car and runs outside to retrieve it. Deon’s aunt sees this as the prime opportunity to spill some tea. She leans over and whispers to Kenya: “He got you a ring. He is going to propose. The whole family gave him some money to get it.”

Nothing like a spoiler alert, huh? Thanks auntie.

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Thursday, December 11, 2014

The red flags were flying bright on this, uh, needy guy

Posted By on Thu, Dec 11, 2014 at 10:00 AM

One of these days, y’all will listen when I tell you to pay attention to the red flags. This week’s story is a prime example of these bright red flags and red lights flashing in your face telling you to STOP. RETREAT. DON’T LOOK BACK. KEEP IT MOVING!

Erin met Dave at a concert in Uptown on a Saturday night. Dave was a part of the security team that was working the event, while Erin was a concert-goer hanging with her friends on a girls night. Erin says she was looking for the restroom when Dave offered his help. He walked her to the restroom, and even stood outside waiting until she finished doing her business. She thought this was cute, so after chatting for a few minutes longer, they exchanged info. Erin says while Dave wasn’t the type of dude she usually went for, she figured he seemed nice enough and had manners. Again, y'all are going to learn to stop that "but he's nice" ish.

Sunday rolls around, and Dave calls Erin several times throughout the day, not really trying to get to know her or talk about anything, but "to say hello." Dave, bruh, and how many times do you need to say that? So Erin says she tried to get him to talk a little bit by asking him what else he does besides security. She says he mumbled something about advertising that didn’t sound like advertising, but she let it go.

On Monday, Dave texts and calls Erin multiple times throughout the day, even though she says she told him she would be in meetings and on conference calls all day. During one conversation, he asks her to dinner on Saturday, and then he slides this in: “So, are you looking to start a family or get married soon?”

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Thursday, December 4, 2014

A very streaky night

Posted By on Thu, Dec 4, 2014 at 3:03 PM

This week's story makes me hope that some of you took advantage of the Black Friday sales and bought a butt load of toilet paper and soap.

Tisha and Sam had been dating for about four months. Sam and some of his fraternity brothers went out of town for the weekend for a guy’s trip. Tisha says she couldn't wait for Sam to get back. Clearly, they were probably still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship — put a few more years in and she will cherish her alone time. I digress.

As soon as he let her know he was back in town, she dropped everything and sped over to his house to see her "chocolate teddy bear." I'm so envisioning a Ruben Studdard type here, and hey, ain't nothing wrong with that.

Once Tisha rang the doorbell and Sam opened the door, they embraced and started making out like teenagers trying to hurry before someone's mom comes home. Don't act like y'all ain't done that before, hell you probably still do. Some of you still live at home, don't you? Anyway, Sam then pulled away and told Tisha he needed to stop and take a shower before things got heated.

Tisha said she didn't want to wait; she needed her teddy bear right then and there, but Sam kept telling her no.

Anybody else's red flag alert antenna just start beeping?

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