Let's say your parents thought you had the perfect mate. The kind of person who always came over bearing gifts or helped out with the yard work — but at home, you knew this person was a lying, cheating asshole. Then one day you decided no more. This relationship was over and you were moving on with your life.

Just one problem — your family still considers this asswipe a friend.

Even if it is simply on Facebook, family should cut ties with the loser who broke your heart. Seriously.

You don't want to avoid going to see your mother because Mr. (or Ms.) Cheating Ass will be there trimming the shrubs. And you don't want to constantly hear, "I wish you two could work this thing out."

Once you've gotten your family to break up with the ex, don't be a fool and reconnect with your old flame. Because no matter what Ask Men says, you can't and should not be friends with your ex. It's too easy to fall into bed with him or her and then that leads to a whole 'nother set of problems.

I overheard two women talking today while I was standing in line for coffee.

One woman was freaking out because once again, she was going to be without a man on Valentine's Day. Her friend rolled her eyes — obviously this is a conversation she'd heard before.

Woman #1: It's the same thing every year. I meet a guy and right around Valentine's Day he flakes out on me. When do I get my romance? My roses and candy?

Woman#2: Buy your own. Here's the thing, romance is over rated and dead. These guys you meet and deal with only want to fuck. If you really wanted them to stick around, you wouldn't give them any until the 13th, that way you'd wake up with his ass on Valentine's Day.

Woman #1: Why are you so negative?

I didn't want to laugh but I did.

Valentine's Day isn't about love or even sex. It's about one woman showing off for other women.

With that being said, check out these Anti-Valentine's Day links:

Say it with Bitterness

Anti-V Day Forum

Ron's Anti Valentine's Day Wake

Anti Valentine's Day Celebration

Sex can be boring. Yes, I said it.

And the reason sex gets boring is because many times partners treat sex as something that has to be penciled in. No.

Sex is an event. And though life gets in the way, you can still treat sex as the playful and fulfilling experience that it should be.

If not, Your Tango.com says you're in danger of letting cheating happen. Because really, if you're tired of three pumps and done, how do you think he feels?

Oftentimes, a relationship will begin on the concept of mutual attraction, loneliness or general horniness. A couple of kooky kids will decide they really like making sweet lust to each other even though they don't have that much in common. After a while, the sex will go stale and there's only so many times you can say, "Did you read what Thomas Friedman said today about the economy/environment/Middle East peace process?" The film Speed ends with the Keanu character telling the Sandra Bullock character that a relationship can't survive if it's based on a traumatic moment, so she proposes to make it about sex…and he's replaced by Jason Patric in the sequel. Coincidence? Contract dispute? Or was his character just sick of sexing up her character?

Happy New Year! 2009 is so over and here are some things that should never happen to you again. Why? Because in 2010 (Man, I love saying that), we don't want to hear about it.

1. If you know eggs and cheese give you bubble guts, don't have anal sex on your mate's birthday.

2. Don't get mad when you show up to your sports loving mate's house during a big sporting event and he has company and you have no clothes on.

3. You discovered that your mate is a cheater, but you stuck around -- don't call me crying when the scum bag does it again.

4. Don't be afraid to play games -- in bed.

5. Don't spend your honeymoon talking about other people. Please fuck your new spouse.

6. Don't go another day without getting an HIV test. (Side note: MAP is no longer open and you need to find another place to get tested. Also, click this link.)

It's 2010, you should have learned some lessons in 2009. If you didn't, too bad because your friends are tired of hearing the same old drama, and we're not listening any more.

Cheating is a hot issues these days and we all know why.

But this isn't a blog about Tiger Woods. It's about a stupid man from right here in Charlotte. The names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.

Clark is married but dates as if he's a single man. The sad thing is that so many single women actually get involved with this guy, knowing that he's married.

In case you're wondering how I know this guy, we're family--and I am not the wife or I'd be writing this from jail.

Anyway, Clark met a girl who loves to snap pictures and on their last encounter she took some compromising pictures of the two of them. He asked her not to post them online. Then he stood her up a couple of weeks later. So, guess what she did.

You got it--put it on Facebook.

As it turned out, one of the woman's friends on Facebook knew his wife and forwarded her the pictures.

Busted.

Clark tried to explain his way out of it and even played it off as joke. Then his wife went all Elin Woods on him and went through his phone while he was sleeping. I will give Clark credit for trying, his phone book only listed the person's initials. But his wife is not a fool. She called the numbers that matched text messages and she found the woman in the pictures.

Now, Clark is sleeping at friends houses and begging me to talk to his wife.

But I have a message for him. Stop being stupid and sleeping around with chicks who can't keep their mouths closed or pictures off Facebook.

Why did you get married when you wanted to be single?

And to the women out there who don't respect the wedding band, not all wives are as reserved as Clark's.

If you live in Charlotte, you probably think a good man is hard to find. Although I think a hard man is good to find, I digress.

Guys who have their shit together are few and far between in Charlotte. Those guys who have no drama,  are disease free and childless -- know they are in high demand.

Therefore, they are exploring their options. Who can blame them?

But if you don't want to be someone's option or a cookie in his package, then follow these steps.

1. Be up front about what you want.

2. Trust what he says about what he wants.

3. Explore your own options. Just because you sleep with a hot guy, it doesn't mean you want him to be your boyfriend.

4. If you want a serious relationship, say so up front before you get your feelings hurt.

5. Don't do what you're not comfortable with. If you don't want to share, you don't have to.

Men like variety, as all of my male friends who have cheated or are cheaters keep telling me. Women can experience it too.

This morning, I read an article on Your Tango.com asking if you fart in front of your guy.

Eww!

Some women have the right idea, don't fart in front of the man. It's not about being a perfect lady, but farting is nasty and it stinks. We're not talking about "queefing," which is hot and possibly why Kanye West is with Amber Rose. But I digress.

Farting in public is nasty, I don't care how long you two have been a couple. And neither does this lady's husband.

Take Cynthia, who, even after 18 years of marriage, says that publicly passing gas is a no-go.

"This is a major issue for my husband, who gets very upset if I pass gas in his presence," she says. "He finds it a vulgar romance killer. If the need arises, I am to leave the room, walk away if outdoors, or get out of bed and leave the bedroom. We were walking home from my birthday dinner and one kind of happened and he barely spoke to me for a day."

Amen brother! And it goes for men as well, especially after you've chowed down on game day food and have stomach full of undigested meat and gas.

If you're dating a guy who thinks it's a bonding experience for you two to have farting contests, please check your age and his because that's more than nasty, that's juvenile.

Terena and her husband of 12 years have even turned their gas into a bonding experience of sorts. "At first I was shy to fart around him, but as time went on I had to relax or explode," she says. "We both laughed about it, so gas just turned into an inside joke for us. We now have competitions over farts. Who has the loudest, or longest, or smelliest ... we add categories as they come up."

What are they 12?