If you don't know your status or you're not practicing safe sex, do me a favor, take a ride up the elevator of the tallest building in Uptown Charlotte and jump.

You're obviously a risk taker.

You don't care if you live or die.

An article on CNN.com says that the Southeast United States ( not Africa, but America, where we live) has the highest concentration of HIV and AIDS cases.

AIDS experts in the region say that access to health care, especially when it comes to screening, is a major problem in rural communities.

In the Southeast, people with HIV tend to get tested late, after they have become sick, partly because of stigma, said Kathie Hiers, executive director of AIDS Alabama in Birmingham.

"If you look at access to health care and almost any kind of health care report card, the South is the worst," she said.

With little or no public transportation, people in non-metropolitan areas are at a disadvantage when they need to see a particular kind of doctor, experts say. There is also a shortage of doctors who deal with HIV in the region, Hiers said.

Here in Charlotte, our public transportation might be sketchy, but you can hop on a bus or light rail and head to the Metrolina AIDS Project and get test on Friday evenings at 5 p.m. It's free and you get your results instantly.

We're not alone in the HIV/AIDS epidemic, according to the article, the Northeast has a high rate of the HIV/AIDS as well:

The Northeast also has a heavy burden of HIV/AIDS cases nationally, atlas collaborators said. Other states with high numbers of counties with high HIV prevalence included Florida, New York and South Carolina.

The atlas, the first of its kind to map out HIV and AIDS at the level of counties, launched in time for Saturday's HIV/AIDS Testing Day. The National Institutes of Health is encouraging everyone age 13 to 64 to get tested for HIV as part of routine health care.

Know your status and protect yourself.

Guys, take a trip to Florence and let your penis feel the love.

Karrine Steffans, the video vixen formerly known as Superhead is back on the scene with a new book to be released in July.

The Vixen Manual: How To Find, Seduce & Keep The Man You Want will hit your favorite book store on July 13. Already, it's selling pretty swiftly on Amazon.com.

In the book, Steffans offers women advice. If you know her sorted pass, sleeping with some of the biggest stars in hip-hop and R&B -- and then detailing it all in her previous books Confessions of a Video Vixen and The Vixen Diaries -- you might ask yourself, what can she tell anyone?

A lot, actually.

In reading the advance copy of the manual, here are some of the gems of knowledge Steffans offers:

"Casual sex comes with an enormous amount of baggage, and I don't mean the adorable vintage Louis Vuitton trunk-set type."

"Having too much casual sex can result in a woman being worn out, and I'm talking literally, in this particular instance. . . And let's not even talk about what sex does to your nether regions. Don't lie ladies. We all know what "porn pussy" looks like."

"When you're the woman guys love bragging about having been with, you can never be comfortable about why men approach you."

And she says this about being that "independent woman" all the singers are making songs about these days:

"A man needs to feel needed. There has to be an opening, a place for him to fit. If we become so independent that we begin to act and talk as if we don't want or need a man at some point in our day and in our lives, no man will ever be there."

And Steffans encourages women to "woo" their man:

"Get into his head before you get into his bed."

"If the local gentleman's club intrigues your man, then don't try to stop him from going. Go with him! During those times when you wish he would just stay home with you instead of chasing his fantasy, turn things around. Become his fantasy. Bring the gentleman's club to him."

Of course, it wouldn't be a real Vixen manual if she didn't give advice about anal sex:

"First of all, anal sex is a huge commitment and something I feel should be saved for your husband. I mean seriously, do you really want a bunch of guys running around telling people they fucked you in the butt? I wish we felt the same way about vaginal and oral sex, but hey one cause at at time, I guess."

Steffans has reinvented herself and in this book she comes off a little judgmental. But I'm sure it's going to sell like hot cakes. Maybe she and Steve Harvey should write a book together.

Take a walk down memory lane with me.

Remember the days of courting over the telephone?

You know what I'm talking about.

The days when you "went together" but the only place you "went" was on the phone unless someone's parents dropped both of you off somewhere.

Or if you were real fast in the ass and then you managed to arrange a group outing or a group hangout at someone's house so you could at least cop a feel on each other.

Or if you had to, you wait until the school dance so you can press your bodies up against each other and perhaps get lost in each others eyes and make promises that you probably aren't even allowed to keep.

The days when neither one of you could drive so all you had was the phone calls to hold you until you could see each other in the hallways at school the next day.

Remember those nights when it was just you two on the phone, and you stayed up all night and half the conversation was just listening to each other breathe and then arguing over who's going to hang up first.

You hang up.

No you hang up.

No you first.

You get the point.

Remember the game "hide-n-go get it?" If you don't maybe you should play it as an adult — but I digress.

Or what about in the age of pagers when your boo told you to use Code 2 (for you rap fans, refer back to The Lost Boyz song "Renee") whenever you needed to see him.

Don't you wish things now were just as simple? I sure do.

But I don't have to remind you about how complex dating as an adult can be.

Now it’s all about a process of elimination for some and no one takes the time to get to know anyone. It's all about the "what can they do for me syndrome."

In 2009 for us grown folks it's all about texting, and instant messaging and emailing, and for you tech savvy or just freak-nasties turning the web cams on just to get a quick thrill.

Just think, if we could go back to those days of talking on the phone, holding hands and just being capturing the innocence and the process of getting to know each other and taking the time to "fall in like" how much easier things could be.

Then I woke up, back to reality. That ish won't work -- we're just all too triflin’ and set in our ways to change.

Hell, we're still playing the boys on one side of the room girls on the other game at grown folks parties.

Lesson Learned: Capturing the essence of the innocence of our teenage years won't solve our dating woes, but it may give you a chance to sit down and reflect on the ish you just don't take the time to do. Appreciate, embrace, and keep it simple without all the drama.

Picture this:

Fancy cars, big house, lazy days lounging around the pool, expensive clothes, a nanny for the rugrats, a chef, and a significant other that says: "Oh quit your job. You don't have to work, I got you.”

Blink. Blink. Blink.

Let me give you your weekly dose of reality. It’s 2009, and if all your limbs are working and the industry you work in hasn’t been slapped silly by the recession, get your ass out and do the damn thing and get your own ish.

Being independent is what's in — not trying to get your gold-dig on.

Someone once told me that it's better to marry for money rather than love.

Wow.

Silly me. I still believe in the theory that boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love. I guess now it's: boy meets girl, one uses the other for money and all is well in the land of fairy tales.

It's amazing to me how we've gotten away from seeking a fulfilling relationship to go after someone with the three Bs — the Benz, the Bling, and the Benjamins.

Whatever happened to getting to know someone despite what's in his or her bank account?

For example, as soon as people found out that I appeared on a reality show, my stock went up. Mofos that I had forgotten about, written off or even told to kick rocks were coming out the woodwork thinking they were going to be able to get money out of me. Jokes on them — because too bad they don't know that not all reality shows pay the big bucks (but that's a whole 'nother blog).

Or what about the man that's using his God given talents and pursuing his dreams and just so happens to be able to make stacks of money doing it?

He gets put on that list of a gold diggers "dream team." Not one time does the gold digger take into consideration the type of man this is.

"What you mean Meik?"

Well, first off (if the research was not done beforehand) you might just find out he could be crazy as hell, likes wearing Scooby Doo under roo's or he could simply be a good guy.

These days, its sad, but it seems that no one takes the time to get to know each other.

Instead it becomes a Destiny's Child remake of "Bills, Bills, Bills."

Here's a shocker for those that are trying to Anna Nicole Smith someone:

Relationships are all about give and take. If you're blessed enough to find a baller, then kudos to you! But, can you honestly sit back and say you'd still be boo'd up with that person if he was the average Joe making a salary of $25,000 or less?

If the answer is resounding "Oh Hell to the Naw!" Then allow me to pass you my pink mirror so you can look yourself in the face and say, " I just might be a gold digger."

Lesson Learned: Try to look at the person as a whole instead of how you can benefit from how much cheddar is in the bank. I'm sure you've heard the old saying, "money can't buy you love.” Now take that to the bank.

A lot of articles are written about how to make sex better for her or him, but how do you make sex better for the both of you?

Women's magazines focus on what women should do to please a man and men's magazines focus on how to make a woman scream. But sometimes, you just want romance novel sex.

And you can have it.

Sex actually starts before you get in the bed. Good sex begins with foreplay, great sex starts with an emotional connection. Say you're married and your mate does something that warms your heart, like taking the kids to the park and running around with them as if he or she is a six year old. So, you decide to cook his or her favorite dinner and send the kids to grandma's.

Little surprises like this can get the ball rolling. Your mate is surprised and willing to thank you in a most intimate way.

Another way to make sex better for you and your mate is by indulging in your fantasies. And all fantasies don't involve threesomes or S&M, but if that's what you want and your mate is down for it, go with the flow. But have you ever wanted to have sex under the stars? Check the Weather Channel for the next clear night and make it happen. Of course, you're going to have to find out what your mate wants and help their dreams come true as well. Sex is about more than one person, unless it's just you and the toy.

Do you believe in a sixth sense? Has your gut ever told you to check your mate's text messages?

What do you do when you find evidence that there is someone else? Do you fight for your relationship, let it go or get a measure of revenge?

Here's a cautionary tale.

C and her boyfriend seemed to have a great relationship. She trusted him, but lately she had been feeling distance between them. So, Sunday night when he was in her bed sleeping, she went into the sitting room of her place and opened his cell phone. She flipped through his text messages and her heart dropped to the bottom of her feet.

There was a picture of some chick's cleavage and another picture of a woman saying, "Guess who." Then there was a text message to his ex boasting that he was seeing five women. Disgusted, C didn't do anything. She was shocked and hurt. She climbed into bed and cuddled up beside him. All night, she had thoughts of smothering him with a pillow and doing other things to hurt him. Instead, she had sex with him.

She said it was her last time being with him, but then she realized that she would be throwing away two years of a "good thing."

But how good was it for him to seek out other women and to keep a relationship with his ex? I told C she should cut her losses and move on, but she said that finding someone decent in Charlotte is hard.

So I had to ask her, do you think Mr. Cheater is decent? A good mate doesn't cheat.

C agreed, but said she thinks the relationship can be saved. But is it even worth saving since she knows he's a cheater?

One man. Twenty one kids. Minimum wage job. Eleven baby mamas.

I’m sure most of you have heard or read about this ridiculous story about the 29-year-old man in Tennessee with 21 kids. And if you haven’t ... then I need you to read the newspaper, turn on the TV or something!

This foolishness combined with listening to folks whining, kicking and screaming about their baby daddies, baby mamas and ex-boos is killing me. It boils down to one damn thing in my book: Did you do your research before deciding to lie down with that person?

Clearly, somewhere along the line, the process of weeding out folks is missing from today’s dating world.

I am an advocate for this — screening your potential baby daddy/mama/boo/jumpoff or whatever before you proceed in any type of relationship.

"What you mean 'Meik?"

Let’s hone in on an example: Girl meets boy. Booty call relationship takes off within just a few days. A couple months later, boy decides he doesn’t want to be bothered with girl and throws her the deuces. Oops, girl finds out she is pregnant and then finds out boy has three or four other kids and no job.

Now had said girl screened his ass, she would have known all this information BEFORE she pro-created with him.

The same idea applies to people who are just getting to know each other and are thinking about taking it to the next level.

How do you go about screening folks? You know I love making lists, so here we go:

1. The Internet is the ish plain and simple. Need directions: simply type in the person’s name in a search engine and see what comes up. You may find out that person has been involved in the news in some old “Set it Off” type of ish.

2. Look them up on Facebook, Myspace, or any other social networking Web site ... if their page isn’t set to private ... pay attention to the types of folks they are friends with and the stuff posted on the page ... you can learn a lot and pick up on any red flags.

3. Ya’ll know the Queen City has just a few degrees of separation. Someone is bound to know someone that knows someone. Open your mouth and just ask.

4. There’s nothing wrong with doing a little background check to find out what you could be laying up with. Just like employers do background checks to see who they are employing, think about who you are letting in your personal space and get busy being nosy!

5. Simply taking the time to talk to each other and being honest is one of the best ways to find out what you need to know.

Lesson Learned: A lot of drama can be eliminated if you just take the time to do your research. Screening folks doesn’t take up much time. Dealing with a triflin' mofo after you decide to take it to the next level is what will eat up time, sweat, blood, tears and make you have bad nerves or even worse ... make me put you on blast in mofochronicles (shameless plug).

Whatever happened to the good ole days?

The days where boy meets girl ... boy asks girl out ... boy calls and confirms date with girl ... boy picks girl up ... they go out ... boy takes girl home ... and the cycle repeats until the next step is taken and, well, we're all grown. Figure it out.

The official art of courtship ... is now "dead and gone" — just like T.I. and Justin Timberlake's song.

Recent events over the past few months (hell, make that years) during my stay in the Q.C. has forced my hand to write this blog.

Something clearly is missing in the lives of the men in our generation, and I'm not pointing fingers. But I'm guessing its either how they were raised, their environment or simply put, it's the crew they hang around.

Or if we dig a little deepe,r it's actually part of the fact that this generation has lost the art of the "follow through" — aka "do what you say you are going to damn do."

What does that mean Meik?

Lemme break it down a little further for those on the slow bus: These days this is how it goes: Boy meets girl ... boy talks a good game and even makes plans with girl ... boy fails to call to cancel or reschedule and girl is left looking like boo boo the damn fool.

Don't get me wrong, it definitely goes both ways, but this is my blog so we're focusing on the men today.

I don't know if we need to blame the triflin' chicks who ENABLE this behavior and pat these fellows on the back, and then reward them with the peach cobbler. (And I ain't referring to the dessert.) But some of us have standards and this ish just CANNOT fly.

You wouldn't do that ish in a professional setting so why in your personal life?

It's really quite simple how to handle things:

1. If you don't like a person, TELL THEM (well, in a nice way of course). How hard can it be to be up front and honest and tell someone you just aren't feeling them?

2. If you have been asked to go on a date and you don't wanna go, don't agree to the ish; that eliminates the lies that I oh so despise.

3. If you just aren't interested in anything but a booty call SAY IT. You can fix your mouth to say other ish. Don't be scared now. Man-up and be up front.

4. All that rescheduling ish — and you know damn well you had no plans to go to begin with — why? Why waste folks time? Again, just tell the person that you just really aren't feeling them.

5. If you're sitting back waiting on a better offer, hell, do that then. But just have the common courtesy to let the other person know you dont want to be bothered because you waiting on your dream jumpoff to call.

Lesson Learned: Communication is key and without it, all you have is a bunch of misunderstandings, hurt feelings and if you're lucky enough to pick the right crazy fool, you may end up with a few flat tires. My advice: Stop stringing folks along if you aren't interested and put forth an effort in the ones you are interested in.