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Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (August 13) 

Hot sauce and pill poppers

Sending a Message: People in Uptown may want to get used to sending eCards for a while, as the local supply of greeting cards was recently soiled by a man who just couldn't wait. A man reportedly entered the CVS on Trade Street and urinated on a display of "Get Well" and birthday cards.

He Got Game: An employee of a local Hilton hotel filed a police report after she said she was harassed by one of the hotel's guests. The woman said she was cleaning a vacant room when a man staying in a nearby room entered and grabbed her around the waist. He then allegedly kissed her forehead and said, "I'm 72 years old and I have bad knees. Can you help me?"

Reverse Peephole: A 22-year-old man turned to police after someone gained entry to just enough of his house to use it as an ashtray. The man told officers that a group of suspects removed the peephole from his front door and ever since have been sticking lit cigarettes through the hole, leaving burn marks on the man's foyer.

Loaded: A woman filed a police report after a purse holding a treasure chest-worth of jewelry and enough painkillers to put down a few horses was stolen from her front yard. The woman told officers that a known suspect made off with her purse, which contained two iPhones, $10,000 worth of white gold and diamond jewelry, $500 in cash, 40 Percocet pills, 60 Xanax pills and 12 Valium pills. We suggest you keep that purse on your person or inside next time.

Added Flavor: A couple called police after their property was recently vandalized. While most disgruntled roommates, lovers or what-have-you take to pouring bleach on the property of those who have wronged them, the suspect in this case reportedly ruined $300 worth of clothing, sneakers and other stuff by pouring hot sauce on it. Hopefully, it was Tabasco, because that would be a sad waste of Texas Pete.

Necessities: A suspect was arrested in a northwest Charlotte Walmart after attempting to shoplift $40 worth of Marvel Avenger toys and a blood test designed to measure the amount of ammonia in a person's blood.

Foamy Discharge: An unknown vandal did $30,000 worth of damage in just a few minutes last week, as reported by construction workers who arrived on the scene in the morning. The workers told police that someone sprayed an entire fire extinguisher into the oil reserve of a large tractor, left on an Uptown site over night.

Low Demand: Football season is nearly upon us, and game tickets have been showing up in reports even before the influx of counterfeit ticket reports that will undoubtedly come rushing in following the first game day. One woman came across $550 worth of Panthers tickets and turned them in, apparently not interested in the product itself. Another man reported a an envelope containing season tickets being stolen from his mailbox. The poor soul responsible must've been heartbroken to learn the envelope contained four season tickets to Buffalo Bills games.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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