What a booger: Someone either stocking up for spring or creating a new strain of meth hit up a Walgreens and stole about $550 worth of sinus medication, including Allegra and Claritin, and about $60 worth of Prevacid.
Long John Stealer: The shrimp guy is back! A police report we swear we've seen before details a theft at a local Walmart in which a suspect allegedly walked into the store, headed to the frozen food section, put 12 bags of frozen shrimp worth about $100 and two boxes of salmon worth about $20 in a poncho and left without paying. The suspect had previously been banned from the store (the report doesn't say why).
Liar, liar, crotch on fire: A rather conniving thief tricked a dollar store out of some items using what has to be the most intricate lie ever. Police were summoned to the Family Dollar after an employee reported that the suspect took two Nyquil bottles without paying for them. Officers located the suspect at a nearby gas station, who admitted to taking the Nyquil bottles and two packs of Zzzquil as well. She also admitted to somehow convincing the Family Dollar employees that she had purchased the items from the store the previous night and wanted to return them. Family Dollar agreed to give the suspect store credit for the items, unaware they were stolen, and she proceeded to use the credit to buy a hair brush, flat iron, tea, hair conditioner and a douche kit. No word on what's become of the thief, her hair or her ... sleeping patterns.
Green Thumb Bandit: Someone stole five carpet rose plants from the front entrance of the Carmel Crescent neighborhood.
Hot wheels: It's hard to feel sorry for some victims of theft. A woman told police she started her car in her driveway to let it warm up (on these brutally cold fall days?). She went inside to get something, leaving her car door unlocked. When she went outside, guess what wasn't there anymore?