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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files 

Baby-sitting: A man was arrested at the Mi Cabana bar on Eastway Drive for abandonment. The man had been in the bar all night drinking, and at some point it was found that he had left his 1-year-old daughter in the car the entire time. You should make it up to her by doing something real special for her second birthday. Like, go to Disney World ... and ride all the rides while she sits in the car.

Ridin' Dirty: Police were on patrol when they witnessed a car driving erratically, so they pulled the car over. They found a young man driving the car who was not yet old enough to acquire a driver's license. The boy was also consuming alcohol in the car and was already drunk at the time of this traffic stop.

Left With Nothing: A 43-year-old woman called police after being threatened over the phone by a known suspect. She told officers the suspect called and said, "I am going to break into your house, steal all of your shit and kill you." It's only going to add to her children's heartbreak when they realize all the stuff she would've left them in her will was stolen.

Extra Clean: Police were called to a local Harris Teeter after a man was caught shoplifting. Employees said they saw the man shoving something in his pocket before attempting to leave the store. When confronted, it was found that the man had tried to steal three electric toothbrushes. No toothpaste?

On A Mission: A 23-year-old woman called police after being threatened by her ex-boyfriend during an argument. The woman reported to police that the suspect told her, "I will make it my life to make your life hell. I will show you what assault and battery really is." The victim stated she considered this a direct threat because the suspect "has a major anger problem and snaps at any given moment." It's always obnoxious when people learn something new and want to teach it to everyone – but when that thing is assault and battery, it's dangerously annoying.

Undress Her: Police were called to a local Victoria's Secret store after a woman stole from the shop and got away with it. Employees told police that the woman walked into the store, stole multiple bras off of the display mannequins and ran out. There were several men in the vicinity who could've stopped her but the sight of a woman taking bras and panties off of what looks to be another woman was too entrancing.

History Repeats: A 32-year-old woman called police after being threatened by someone whom she obviously had problems with in the past. She stated that the suspect saw her one afternoon and said, "I am going to fuck you up when I see you. Your dumb ass is going to get choked again." Choke me once, shame on you. Choke me twice, it gets a little old.

That Damn Rap Music: A 34-year-old woman called police after someone robbed her son at a community park. She told officers that her son was listening to her iPod at the park when someone approached him and asked what he was listening to. When the son put one of his headphones up to the suspect's ear, the suspect grabbed the entire thing and ran off with it. Now this story scientifically proves that music can influence kids to commit crimes. I'm glad he wasn't listening to "How I Could Just Kill A Man."

Cuddle With Me: A 21-year-old man went to a local police station to speak to an officer about a problem he was having with his girlfriend. He told the officer he was breaking up with the girl when she became very upset. She then started hitting and scratching him. He told the cop he didn't want to press charges, but he did show the officer the scratches and redness on his arms and backs. Just because you don't have a girlfriend anymore doesn't mean someone else wants to listen to your problems.

Just Plain Reckless: A 32-year-old woman called police after being assaulted by a man. She told officers the man pushed her down twice and then punched her in the face with a closed fist. All the time this was happening, the woman was holding her newborn infant. Is Guantanamo closed yet?

Threat of the Week: A 26-year-old woman called police after being threatened through an e-mail. The woman went to the police station to report that she received a message from another woman that stated, "If I see you around him, I will cut you up and throw you out for the birds to eat on you, you worthless bitch." The victim claimed she felt threatened by the e-mail, even though she got it in September of last year. She's not completely worthless though; she could probably feed an entire family of birds for a week.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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