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I'm broke right now. On tour I might do it for a place to sleep. A six-pack and your floor with an air mattress.
Would you save George Bush from a burning house fire if he were screaming out your name for help?
I would save him. And then as soon as I made sure he was OK, I would sit down and talk to him about what an asshole he is.
What's your favorite Halloween costume of all-time?
Road kill. I wore a full fur animal costume and then I spray painted tire tracks across it. Then I made a ping-pong ball as an eyeball popping out. It freaked everyone out.
What's the most awkward thing that's ever happened to you?
My pants splitting open on stage. I was wearing these extremely tight hip huggers without underwear and the crotch just busted out. I was elevated so I'm sure I gave everyone a show. I had to tie my jacket around my waist for the rest of the show.
How much can you bench?
I can probably pick you up.
Tell us a joke.
What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar? ... A flame thrower.
Do you have a favorite term for making whoopy?
Once I heard this really redneck girl call it stickin'. That was funny.
Names: Destiny and Kristy
Profession: bartenders/managers at the Sunset Club
There's a reason the Sunset Club charges a membership; well, actually, there are two reasons: One is Kristy, the other is Destiny. (Needless to say, we didn't have to ask Destiny what her stripper name would be.)
Why do people lust after you?
Destiny: (Points to her boobs.) I'm just kidding.
Kristy: Because we're bartenders, which a lot of guys have crushes on.
So do guys try to pick you up all the time?
Kristy: We get a lot of gifts. Concert tickets. Bobcats tickets.
Destiny: Dinner. Gift certificates.
What's the worst pick-up line you've ever heard?
Destiny: I have a yacht, or I have a house on the lake.
Do people ever try to look at your underwear?
Destiny: Oh, they've seen our underwear.
Kristy: We have to climb up a ladder behind the bar to get wines, and sometimes we wear skirts.
Have you caught them staring?
Destiny: We can feel it.
Kristy: Sometimes guys go, "Get back up there."
Is chest hair gross or sexy?
Kristy: Gross! Wax it off.
Destiny: A little bit is OK.
How much are your most expensive jeans?
Kristy: $250
Destiny: Only $100
What are you going to invent one day?
Kristy: The perfect man.
Does size matter ... in terms of muscle?
Kristy: Depends on the muscle.
Destiny: As long as they aren't a beef head. I like a range.
What's your favorite term for making whoopy?
Destiny: Shagging.
How much money would it take to get to second base with you?
Kristy: No amount of money.
Destiny: I think they would call that prostituting.
Even for $200 million?
Kristy: No.
Destiny: I think I could swing it for $200 million.
What's your pet peeve?
Destiny: Pretty much everything gets on my nerves.
Anything specific?
Destiny: No, everything.
Part Two ...
Name: PJ
Profession: Improv Comedian
Name the top two things women look for in a man. You probably said sense of humor and money. This Lust Lister has got you covered. A consultant during the week, PJ performs in an improv comedy troupe on the weekends.
What do you lust after?
I think the scholar Lil' Flip said it best: "I want a lady in the street, but a freak in the sheets."
Do people ever try to look at your underwear?
Yes. I don't really know why. There's nothing really interesting in my underwear.
Tell us a joke, funny man.
It's a lame one: What does Snoop Dogg call his umbrella? ... For drizza.
How much money would you pay to go into outer space?
Less than that guy from *NSYNC.
How much money would it take to get to second base with you?
10 pence -- however much that is.
Of the following three people, pick one you would have sex with, one you would marry and one you would throw off a cliff: Oprah, Paris, Medusa.
I'd fuck Medusa because that would be crazy. I'd marry Oprah because she's loaded. And I'd throw Paris off a cliff into a pool of snakes.
What's so crazy about Medusa?
I mean she's got snakes on her head. I figure that's almost like a threesome.
What's the worst pick-up line you've ever heard?
Is your dad a terrorist? Because you're the bomb. I think that one was more popular pre-9/11.
What's your favorite term for making whoopy?
Speaking of 1.96000
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Calendar
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Queen Charlotte Fair @ Route 29 Pavilion
- Through April 22, 4-11 p.m.
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NEW WINDOW GALLERY-Pat Rhea-ACRYLIC PAINTINGS-April 05-30 2024 VALDESE, NC 28690 @ New Window Gallery/Play It Again Records
- Through April 30, 12 p.m.
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TheDiscountCodes
- Mondays-Sundays. Continues through Dec. 31
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Wine & Paint @ Blackfinn Ameripub- Ballantyne
- Thu., April 18, 6-9 p.m.
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Face to Face Foundation Gala @ The Revelry North End
- Fri., April 19, 6-10 p.m.
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