The Blotter: Taking Your Work Home 

Sprayed Up A few employees at an optical media storage company — whatever that is — were probably late into work last week after a workplace beef was taken to the next level in the early morning hours. According to the report, two women in their early 20s were waiting at the bus stop to get to work at 6:15 a.m. one morning when the suspect drove by and sprayed them both with pepper spray. The victims told police that the suspect was their coworker, and that the incident stemmed from something that had occurred at work the previous day.

Working Girls We hope a 57-year-old man in west Charlotte learned his lesson last week, although it's still unclear exactly what that lesson is. Police responded to a call about an assault and found the man, who they said was already heavily intoxicated. He told police that two ladies had just assaulted him with an unopened can of beer while he sat waiting for a bus. He told police the two women approached him and offered him sex for money, but when he denied them, they smashed him in the face with the beer can, then went through his pockets. The two ladies made off with his cellphone, his food stamps and the cash he had in his pockets.

Welp Employees running a north Charlotte neighborhood recently invested $250 to stop thievery and other criminal activity at the neighborhood clubhouse. It seems the plan didn't work, however, as someone stole the $250 surveillance camera the homeowner's association had just put up a week prior.

The Shining A 39-year-old man filed a police report after the tenants at a house he was renting out in northwest Charlotte vandalized the property before moving out. The man told police that the tenants pulled what appeared to be some sort of vegan protest when they flooded the downstairs with a mixture of grease and blood. All in all, the tenants-turned-vandals did $1,200 in damage to the carpet and linoleum floors.

Kids Police responded to a call to Statesville Elementary School last week after a student decided they couldn't take a minute more of class, let alone another trip through junior high and high school. According to the report, the boy "endangered the lives and property of students and staff by setting a fire in the school classroom. In an unrelated incident, staff at McClintock Middle School got police involved after finding a group of kids deciding to make a three-day weekend where there was none, as all were found consuming alcohol together in class on a Monday afternoon. Keep in mind that middle school students are 11 to 14 years old.

Out of Bounds When police are forced to present you with a custom-made map showing you what parts of property you're actually allowed onto in a certain part of the city, you may as well pick up and move to a new part of town. Police responded to a disturbance on Nations Ford Road last week after a man was banned from the La Casa Inn motel and decided to walk across the street after being escorted off the property. The problem there was that he was then standing on the property of Knights Inn motel, from which he had already been banned at a previous day. According to the report, the suspect was officially banned from both — this time in the presence of a police officer — and given a map of the areas he was banned from.

Rock Star Police responded to an InTown Suites in north Charlotte after management there found that someone had partied too hard during their stay there. Employees told officers the suspect stayed there for a week, and when he left, they found that the wall was damaged where the 43-inch flat screen had been torn off it, lamps were torn off the walls, cigarette burns were on the carpet and nightstand, the refrigerator was dented, the shower rod and curtain were pulled from the wall and the door handle was broken off of the door completely.

Your Biggest Fan Police responded to the scene of an affray — cop talk for a big ass fight — in south Charlotte last week, but one guy had already escalated things beyond return by the time they arrived. According to those on the scene, two guys were in a fight when two more guys jumped in to help their buddy. As would be expected, the odd man out started to get beat up pretty bad, suffering injuries to his face. He was able to get away from the other guys and went in his house and grabbed a knife. He came out and waved the knife at the other men in the yard, and when they backed up and gave him room, he picked up a large outdoor fan and threw it through the window of one of the guys' cars.

Sandwich Artists Management at a Subway on Sunset Road in north Charlotte called police last week after a man came into fix some equipment that didn't need fixing. Employees told police that the mechanic visited the store and intentionally took apart a commercial toaster oven worth $6,000. The kicker? The toaster oven was in full working order, and the man was only supposed to be delivering an invoice to the store that day.

Opening Day A bunch of thieves are now in possession of stolen goods that aren't good for much unless they're starting their own little league teams. A man filed a report last week stating that the thieves had broken into a storage shed at some baseball fields in the Newell neighborhood and stolen a riding lawn mower, a weed eater, a leaf blower, eight buckets of baseballs, some batting tees and two football tackling dummies.