Friday, July 18, 2008

Cross Your T and Dot Her Yoni

Posted By on Fri, Jul 18, 2008 at 2:16 PM

Every once in awhile a position comes out whose soul purpose is just to see if you can do it. While not a traditional position, this one does promise some good tales around the bar stool.

This position begins with the man in a handstand with his hands on the floor and torso leaning up against the bed (facing the bed). The woman then sits on the edge of the bed with her legs wrapped around his waist.

Now it is up to the woman to help her partner achieve penetration while in this very compromising position. Once penetration is achieved, both partners can wrap their legs around each other for support and wiggle n' gyrate.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate position (1 as horrible, 10 as sexual nirvana)? 

6.5

Did you have difficulty getting into the position?  Yes, this position takes balance, coordination, and communication to achieve penetration. If you are lucky to get this far, it will take even more communication to figure out how to achieve any stimulation. This is a two part puzzle.

Did you feel like a pretzel? Were you able to do the motions once in position?  Yes, this position messes with your head as you are not only upside down, but turned 'bassackwards'.

Any recommendations on getting either in or out of this position:  Nope... that is all part of the experience. Actually, it is the entire experience!

How long did you last in the position?  5 minutes

Enjoyment once you were in position (for the woman):  There was not a huge enjoyment factor on her behalf. The penetration was shallow, the movement limit... and the view from her angle wasn't so great either.

Enjoyment once you were in position (for the man):  Not much enjoyment here either. There is a brief moment of excitement once your in position, but it quickly dwindles once you realize there's not much more to it.

Short Answers

Was the position comfortable? Were you able to relax?

Man:  Hell no, this position isn't comfortable. And since I am not particularly comfortable with my bare ass being stared at, I was subconscious of this situation the whole time.

Woman:  She just sat there looking rather distant, perhaps there was a sort of relaxation going on there, but I would more appropriately classify this as boredom, and there is little the guy can do to liven things up.

Would you consider this to be an intimate position (Why or why not)?  No, this position is as far removed as masturbating in two separate rooms, grunting and moaning to each other through two cans of tomato sauce tied between a rope. This is the definition of angry sex... heaven forbid if the man has had a bean burrito within the past day or two.

Are you achy or sore after the fact?

Man:  No

Woman:  No

What did the position feel like (both mentally and physically) in 50 words or less?  This position felt awkward, cold, uncomfortable, distant, and unsatisfying as a whole, but there is a brief moment of pride that comes with its initial accomplishment. This is sex for sport... not pleasure!

Did she reach orgasm?  …No

Did he reach orgasm?  ...No

Did it take longer than usual to reach orgasm?  N/A

Would you do this position again (why or why not)?  No... once you've been there and done that you won't want to go again. It's kind of like the movie Titanic... once you know the ending, there is no reason to go back and experience it again.

Any suggestions to make the position more pleasurable:  Try it once, then twirl yourself around and do it the normal way!

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