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Sex and the Queen City
Monday, March 21, 2011
Dating and Mating / Sex and the Queen City / Don't Do This The best gift a man can give a girl ...
Posted By Brittney Cason on Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 9:36 AM
... is a bottle of conditioner.
I’ve dated all kinds of men, all who had different means of displaying their love and affection.
From the guy who gave me the Sex and the City DVD box set on our third date to whatever Tiffany's jewelry is being advertised for any given holiday. The best gift I’ve ever gotten from a guy, however, was my own toothbrush and bottle of conditioner in his bathroom.
Not only is it a thoughtful, cute gift, but it's a way of showing a girl that he not only wants her around, but that she’s the only girl that he has around. 'Cause not too many guys use conditioner, and having some in the shower is a tell-tale sign that a woman showers there.
Ladies, don’t underestimate the sincerity of toiletries as a gift. Sure, jewelry is nice, but its value is nothing compared to that of true love from a guy. Actions speak louder than words ... and gifts.
A nice gift isn’t a supplement of emotions, and investing in a present will not increase your stock if you're not investing your time. A token of affection isn’t just some generic fancy gift bought because he has a lot of tokens to spend. It’s a thoughtful, meaningful act of love and token of affection. Such as putting conditioner in his shower so you can spend the night there and shower before you go have breakfast together.
I’d rather be taken on vacation than have some shiny necklace that is too nice to wear anyway. And who needs to be wined and dined when you can make homemade dinners together.
Real women don’t want to be spoiled with nice presents if there's no real thought behind it. They want their men to spoil them with adventures and time spent together. What we need from men is not available in stores — you can't put love on a credit card.
If men realized this, they’d save a lot of money and invest in a better class of women. Consider that like an insider trading tip, fellas.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sex and the Queen City / Random.com Charlotte's Emily Maynard, before the rose
Posted By Brittney Cason on Mon, Mar 14, 2011 at 1:56 PM
Tonight, Yyou can watch Charlotte's own Emily Maynard on The Bachelor finale. But first, you can watch her host the show I now work for, 3 Wide Life.
Link to video.
Maybe I should go on The Bachelor now ... that was a joke!
I may not like the show, but I like Emily — and Team Emily will assemble for tonight's finale! A party so big, I even made two fruit pizzas for the occasion ... to watch The Bachelor. I like the girl that much.
So do you think Emily will walk away with the final rose ... or dump Brad Womack? Either way she's coming up roses ... get it?
Blog to be continued ...
Monday, February 28, 2011
Dating and Mating / Sex and the Queen City / Random.com Guys respond to my 'vajazzling'
Posted By Brittney Cason on Mon, Feb 28, 2011 at 12:33 PM
On Valentine’s Day, I got the following e-mail from a guy friend:
Subject Line: Happy Va-jay-jay Day
Welcome to Austin Britt! Here’s a coupon for a $5 Swarovski Vajazzle with a Brazilian wax, with love.
The forwarded message from the Waxing Studio included a link to a video of Jennifer Love Hewitt talking to George Lopez about how she thinks every woman should get vajazzled. What is she,The Ghost and Vagina Whisperer?
Vajazzling is basically bedazzling your vagina. Kinda like going to Michael's and buying gems to hot glue to your vagina. I’ve always wanted to have a jewel-encrusted vagina.
"That is a horrible idea" … "Won’t the beads rub against our skin?" … "If I saw a girl with rhinestones on her vagina, I’d ask to see her ID to make sure she was over 13” — these are the sentiments I got from my guy friends.
And then they bet me I wouldn't do it … which made me want to. “You might as well give herself a little action down there,” they quipped. Considering I don’t have to worry about scaring or chaffing a guy, I agreed to their bet, demanding home-cooked Texas BBQ and a gift card to Whole Foods. Apparently I'll do anything if you feed me.
So last week I went to the Waxing Studio where Tiffany here laid out Swarovski crystals in the shape of Texas Longhorns, fireworks, shooting stars, and butterflies. I went with a blue peace sign. When she put on her latex gloves, I gripped myself for pain, like she was about to give me a Brazilian wax. But it didn’t hurt, and aside from having someone's hands on your genitals, it didn’t even feel uncomfortable. It’s basically like a temporary tattoo — a pornographic one. It just peels off a plastic film and sticks to your skin like a sticker. I suggested they get cat eyes designs — that might be festive.
The catch to the bet, however, was that I had to go out in downtown Austin that night and tell 5 random guys that I just got vajazzled and see how they responded ...
Random guy #1: "What is that?"
Random guy #2: "What the F%$& is that?"
Random guy #3: "Show me!" (I showed him my back as I walked away.)
Random guy #4: "Huh?"
Random guy #5: "Why?"
So the consensus is ... what's the point? My peace sign vajayjay adornment was more the butt of a joke than it was sexy. It lasted all of five days, losing a rhinestone here or there. Now I won't scare off a guy ... with my vajazzle at least.
I gave my intern, Jordan, the assignment to find a place in Charlotte that offers Vajazzling. Once she reconsidered why on earth she works for me, she searched to no avail, even calling Vajazzle themselves, sitting on hold for two hours. Either this is really a new craze, or their call center is understaffed. Get on it Charlotte salons. *wink*
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Dating and Mating / Sex and the Queen City Is attraction a scientific equation or a sixth sense?
Posted By Brittney Cason on Tue, Feb 22, 2011 at 3:13 PM
What initiates that initial attraction reaction we have towards certain people ... and not others? Is there a chemical formula in our pheromones that bonds with some people and repels others? Is there some sort of scientific equation that they left out of our college biology curriculum?
Ever wonder why in a crowd of people there are few strangers that you are instinctively drawn to? Why do we even have a "type"?
And why am I attracted to older men, while the friend to my left is attracted to pretty frat boys, and the friend to my right attracted to geeks? And why is the guy over there only attracted to skinny blondes, and his friend curvy brunettes?
What attracts us to other people?
Consider this my thesis on the study of attraction. The following quotes are derived from my focus groups on the subject.
The Sixth Sense
“The way this girl smelled appealed to my senses.” – some dude
It makes perfect sense that a person is attracted to someone via a smell they radiate. After all, we are animals; many breeds of animals in the wild tend to sniff out a mate to mate with, literally. But isn’t there also usually something about the way someone looks, talks, feels and tastes that has you infatuated? Those are our senses, and perhaps attraction is our sixth one.
The Forbidden Fruit
“I like the thrill of the hunt.” — female lions and male predators
"Let a guy chase you until you catch him." — my mother
... And shit my dad says: "The trick is finding a person you can fart in front of."
Why do you think Romeo and Juliet liked each other so much ... were they really soulmates or was that just an open-and-shut case of forbidden fruit complex? What makes the unattainable so attractive? Why do we want what we can't have when we can have something that wants us?
The Gilbert Theory (named after my friend Laura who came up with it)
"We tend to be attracted to someone we see as better than us … whether it be hotter, smarter, richer, nicer. A partner that will counteract our insecurities and weaknesses."
So I guess that is what Jerry Maguire meant when he said that famous line, "You complete me." Perhaps we naturally attract someone with the genetics we would breed well with — the ying to our yang.
The Shallow End
Attracted only to attractiveness
"I like a girl with a big ass." — Some douchebag at Butter
"A flashy guy. Nice ride, big house." — Some shallow soul who would date the douchebag at Butter
“A good job” or “In shape”
Is this shallow? Not exactly. A good job is a sign of ambition, success and motivation — not just a paycheck. And being in shape is a sign of healthy living — and typically someone who does their body good, will do yours as well. *wink*
“I only attract emotionally unavailable men.” – Too many women that deserve better
"I apparently like bitches" — The nice guys that finish last
Like attracts like ... don't be an asshole and be attracted to assholes
Friday, December 17, 2010
Sex and the Queen City Toys for twats: Xmas at The Men's Club
Posted By Brittney Cason on Fri, Dec 17, 2010 at 3:24 PM
'Tis the season of giving ... and receiving lap dances apparently.
Every year, for the past 10 years, a group of gentlemen I know all congregate over the holidays at a gentlemen’s club for Operation X-mas Child — putting the X in X-mas.
At this “Toys for Twats” charity function, they bring gifts to donate to strippers who may have it rough. Depending on what club they're working at, some even have to pay to come to work strip shifts there, I’ve learned recently. Anyone who has to pay to work deserves donations.
Being a philanthropist (and one of the boys), I got an invite to this charity function held yesterday afternoon at the highly holiday festive Men’s Club. And shockingly, I was the only girl there … well, the only girl wearing clothes, at least. But there weren’t many without them either. In fact, there were so few strippers there I felt bad and offered to do a dance for the guys — the choreographed hip-hop routine I did for the TopCats at the CIAA tournament, that is.
Apparently there aren’t a lot of strippers on duty at 3 p.m. in the afternoon. You can find several on duty at t 3 a.m., on the other hand, when they’re serving a buffet of tits and grits. But this particular afternoon, there were quite a few guys there in addition to the group of 10 I was with. It was so bad (or not bad, rather) we had to relocate to Uptown Cabaret, where they charge $3 for tap water. Really? That’s three singles they’re depriving the strippers of. I felt inclined to go refill my cup in the bathroom faucet — that oughta show them.
But before we left The Men’s Club we donated our toys to the actual “Toys for Tots” box in the lobby – with the exception of the sex toys the guys got the strippers and one teddy bear, Wooly. He was the award for the best stripper. (What’s a Christmas party without a little dance-off?) Too bad there were no girls to dance for them … I’m the only one who got an offer at the Men’s Club. True story. But I was too busy stuffing my face with a filet mignon sandwich to accept.
On a side note, to the DJs at The Men’s Club: Why would you play "Holiday" by Madonna? … you can't strip to that! You had the poor girl on stage throwing her arms around like an '80s pop star. I almost expected her to have an '80s bush.
