Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The lady in the Land Rover at Latta Park

Posted By on Tue, Jun 24, 2008 at 1:46 PM

Today was one of those days where you wanted to take a nice lunch in one of Mecklenburg County's parks.

It's not blazing hot and the sun is just beautiful. I made the mistake of going to Latta Park in Dilworth to eat my lunch and get in a little reading. The parking lot was full. Well, not really. It just seemed as if people driving huge trucks and sedans wanted to be assholes and take up more than one spot today. I should've left the park and returned to the office to eat at my desk. But I found a spot, next to a white Land Rover, and decided to park there and enjoy the day. Besides, I wanted to listen to Rockferry by Duffy without headphones. So there I sat, listening to my music and reading Phillip Margolin's "Ties That Bind."

Then I hear the click of the SUV next to me. The driver had remotely unlocked her doors and was returning to her car with three little imps--I mean children.

When the first little kid bumped my car with his damp body, I chose to ignore it. Kids will be kids, accidents happen. Then there was another bump. This time it was harder and it was the door of the SUV. I'm sitting in the car watching this and thinking to myself, this is unbelievable. I see the motherfu--I mean mom, attempt to with the paint from my car. As I'm getting out she speeds off. This bitch allowed her badass kid to put a dent in my rear panel and left a line of paint on the car. I really love my car, but I am not obsessed with it. Still, right is right and if the shoe had been on the other foot, she would've been pissed. So, I started to follow her down the street, but she was gone and gas is too expensive to race down the neighborhood streets of Dilworth to find a Soccer Mom bitch who is raising the next generation of Prozac kids.

Lady, you were wrong for not even saying you were sorry. It was really messed up that you sped away, because you knew you were wrong. It's obvious you won't be getting any mother of the year awards. What kind of message are you sending to your kids? Now my Pony has a dent. But the upside of this is--you have to put $500 worth of gas in you gas-guzzling imp bus to get around and I don't.

I hope you get a nail in your tire or a banana in your tail pipe. Karma is a bitch and so are you.

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