Thursday, May 12, 2011

Newt Gingrich Alert: self-righteous serial horn dog runs for White House

Posted By on Thu, May 12, 2011 at 1:24 PM

We are sooo lucky. Newt Gingrich finally announced that he is running for president. Why “lucky”? Because Newt is a journalist’s gold mine — an intelligent man who has a hard time controlling either his mind’s wanderings, or his mouth’s interpretations of his frequent mental squalls. A guy who, more often than not, inadvertently reveals his own inner struggles and turmoils via his unmanageable tongue. A guy who believes deeply, with all his heart and soul and overwrought fervor, that marriage and family are the bedrock institutions of civilization — and yet, whenever one wife gets older or sick, he frees Willy to start looking around for a new one.  Jay Bookman of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution has a good political blog, and yesterday he celebrated the “Top Ten moments in Newt Gingrich history,” which you can read here. Which brings us to the other reason we’re lucky that Newt is running: His past actions and statements, not to mention his oddly messianic but nasty attitudes,  pretty much guarantee that Newt will never live in the White House.

Here’s a key part of Bookman’s column, in which he comments on a particularly ... well, there’s honestly no other word for it ...  fascistic part of Gingrich’s campaign announcement:

My favorite part: “We Americans” — heavy emphasis on “Americans,” to distinguish from those non-Americans — “are going to have to talk together, work together and find solutions together and INSIST on imposing those solutions on those forces that don’t want to change. There are some people who don’t mind if America becomes a wreck as long as they dominate the wreckage.”

Yeah, don’t you hate people like that? And ven vee find them, vee vill INSIST on IMPOSING our solutions on those that don’t vant to change.

As Molly Ivins said of a Pat Buchanan speech, it sounded better in the original German.

Here are few other of Newt’s Greatest Hits (Note that these are all true):

* When he was House Speaker in the 1990s, Gingrich “explained” why he forced a government shutdown by saying that a big part of the reason was that he had been snubbed by Democratic leaders during a flight to and from Israel.

*  In 1994, Newt let the lucky citizens of America see what it’s like inside his head: “People like me are what stand between us and Auschwitz. I see evil all around me every day.”

* When Susan Smith of Union, S.C., earned national notoriety for killing her two children in 1994, Newt shared his warped insights: “I think that the mother killing the two children in South Carolina vividly reminds every American how sick the society is getting and how much we need to change things. The only way you get change is to vote Republican.” As Bookman reminds us, Smith was “sexually abused by her stepfather, a leader in the South Carolina Republican Party and Christian Coalition.”

* Just in case you think Newt’s shooting-off-at-the-mouth classics are a thing of the past, here’s Gingrich’s 2008 explanation of his paranoid vision of the horrifying devils now plaguing our land: “I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment. I think it is prepared to use the government if it can get control of it.”

* And finally, earlier this year, El Newt alerted America to the looming dangers of the nation being taken over by atheist Muslims, or some such nonsense: “I have two grandchildren — Maggie is 11, Robert is 9. I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time they are my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American.”

You have to at least admit the guy is interesting, kind of like that bloody car accident you can’t help but look at as you pass by.

Newt Gingrich and one of the most famous headlines written about his time as Speaker of the House
  • Newt Gingrich and one of the most famous headlines written about his time as Speaker of the House

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