Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (March 17) 

Flop House A south Charlotte woman was alarmed to be the victim of an accidental home invasion last week after one of her neighbors had too much to drink. The victim told police someone rang her doorbell around 6:40 p.m. and when she answered the door, a man took a step into her home. When she realized she didn't know this man, she pushed him out of her home and shut the door. Police located the heavily intoxicated man next door and he told them he had gone to the wrong house.

Split the Take Police responded to a call at Mac's Speed Shop in South End after someone witnessed a group of four men trying to break into a single car. By the time police arrived, the men were successful, depending on your definition of success. The victim told officers the men made off with a pair of eyeglasses and 20 cents.

Zombie Apocalypse When a police officer working in the North Tryon division pulled a man over last week he reported that he ran the offender's driver's license only to find that the man whom the ID belonged to was dead. The driver was written up for carrying fake identification.

Say Uncle A north Charlotte man recently got in trouble after taking his screensaver far too seriously. So seriously that when his 12-year old nephew failed to help him upgrade the screensaver he pulled the boy into a chokehold. The boy got the last laugh when CMPD arrested his uncle on child abuse charges.

Dance All Night Undercover officers scoping out a dance club on Independence Boulevard made a couple busts during a trip there in January. According to a recently released police report, officers went into the business originally to buy cocaine from an employee there, but before they left they also busted the business itself for ABC violations of state liquor laws.

A For Effort An Eastover school set a nasty precedent when they phoned police to report a "fraudulent absence note" that was believed to have been created by the student's parents. Across town, the dean of students at a west Charlotte middle school was met with resistance when she attempted to break up a fight between two female students and, in the process, was punched in the mouth.

Don't Shoot the Messenger Nevermind that pesky check engine light, when a Hickory Grove man's car failed to pass a recent emissions inspection, he was certain that the mechanics were to blame. The man berated employees at the inspection service center, claiming they "did something" to cause his car to fail inspection, then threatened "I am going to kill the person that inspected my car."

Criminal Mind When a thief helped himself to thousands of dollars worth of educational materials from a parked car, he may have found self-help in the process. Among the items stolen was a psychological testing manual, which could help the thief self-assess the decisions that lead him to this life of crime. The deep-thinker faces felony larceny charges for the break-in, but at least police won't need to call in a criminal psychologist when they question the suspect.

Gimme the Loot Three thieves are nominated for best take during shoplfiting sprees all carried out on the same day last week. On aisle one, we have the person who made off with 11 packages of meat, one package of shrimp and two Tide liquid pods at a Bi-Lo in east Charlotte. Security in aisle two will find a man attempting to leave a Walmart in northwest Charlotte with two cases of beer and a DVD copy of Where the Red Fern Grows. Last but not least, a shoplifter in Aldi on Freedom Drive was caught trying to steal a bottle of Febreze, a package of grits and a bottle of pinot grigio.

Ride Rage An Uptown man's dream of breaking into the ride-share game came to a screeching halt when a passenger stole his car. The man wasn't actually working as a driver, but when he saw a pedestrian flagging down cars on North Caldwell Street, he decided to stop and offer the stranger a ride. When the suspect got into his car, the driver decided to step out of the car and "relieve himself" on the roadside. The suspect used this opportunity to climb into the driver's seat and speed off with the vehicle. In an unrelated incident, a woman in southwest Charlotte took the smarter route by refusing to give a man a ride altogehter. Her gut reaction to refuse the man was probably the right one, considering that he threatened to stab her as she drove off.

Stool Pigeon A man shopping at Walmart in northwest Charlotte was apparently hoping to open a line of credit with the store last week when he found more things to his liking in the store than he could afford. Employees told police the suspect paid for several items he had selected from the electronics department but when it came time to saddle up, he said he "was not ready" to pay for two bar stools he had selected. Nevertheless, when the transaction was over he picked up the bar stools and left the building with them.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.