** (out of four)
DIRECTED BY Morten Tyldum
STARS Jennifer Lawrence, Chris Pratt
It becomes clear before long that the futuristic sci-fi outing Passengers, aka Grab 'Em By the Pussy: The Movie, could only have been written by a man. The picture stars Chris Pratt as Jim Preston, one of the 5,000 hibernating passengers aboard a spacecraft heading to a habitable planet 120 light years away. A glitch causes Jim to awaken 90 years too soon; realizing he will die alone long before the ship reaches its destination, he decides to wake up a hottie, Aurora Lane (Jennifer Lawrence), to keep him company.
It's an interesting if troubling premise, and scripter Jon Spaihts initially plays fair with the moral implications of such a scenario. But the final stretch finds the picture copping out at every turn — not only by having the characters (particularly Aurora) make ridiculous choices straight down the line but also by steering right into absurd action-film conventions. The film's visual design is excellent, but even it gets trumped by the story's icky implications.
Reptilicus is going to be done by the new crew at mst3000 for the new…
Heh, sounds like "NoMattBrunson" used up all his KY in one sitting.