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Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Today’s Top(less) 5 Today's Top(less) 5: Wednesday
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Wed, Dec 24, 2008 at 6:30 AM
Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, Dec. 24, 2008 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.
• Twas the night before Christmas, still time to shop for toys.
• Free beer night.
• Speed dating Charlotte at Rustic Martini.
• Check out the Scene.
• Your next to last chance to join in the year of 1,000 table dances.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Video Strokin'
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Tue, Dec 23, 2008 at 3:20 PM
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGVnH39UzI8
What do the lonely do at Christmas? Whatever they want.
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Tue, Dec 23, 2008 at 9:34 AM
By now, you're overloaded with Christmas cheer.
I know I am.
Thursday can't get here and leave fast enough. As I drove down Independence Boulevard today, I heard the most depressing holiday song, "What do the Lonely Do at Christmas," and it got me to thinking.
What do they do?
Around this time of year, we're bombarded with those damned "Every Kiss Begins with Kay" commercials. If you're single and without family, you probably want to puke every time you see one.
That's just how I felt last year.
Some people say that you should take your lonely ass out and give back to others. Go visit a nursing home, wrap gifts for the homeless and all of that. While those are worthwhile efforts, it's really hard to force Christmas cheer when you keep getting text messages that read: "He went to Jared's."
So, what do the lonely do at Christmas?
Why not skip it?
Taking a trip to a place filled with singles, like Vegas, a resort in Mexico or the like, could possibly get you out of the holiday doldrums and increase your chances of getting a nice gift of your own. Just know that if you have a holiday fling, use protection so that you won't receive a gift that just keeps on giving.
If you've been hit by the recession and booking a last minute trip is out of the question, why not call up some of your single friends who didn't get a gift from Jared and go bar hopping after all of the "family Christmas" events are over?
You'll hear a heaping of holiday drama and probably meet other singles and unattached people who had to get away from the table and screaming kids.
If you're spending Christmas in Charlotte, check out these spots:
Bar Charlotte. Though Thursday is normally college night, college students are gone for the holidays.
NV Night club. They're hosting an alternative lifestyle party, seriously doubt there will be any Jared gift receivers there.
The best thing that you can do for yourself is realize that you don't have to like Christmas and you don't have to be lonely and depressed. Remember, you can be your own party. You can make this the best Christmas ever.
And if all else fails, there is always Craig's List.
Today’s Top(less) 5 Today's Top(less) 5: Tuesday
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Tue, Dec 23, 2008 at 6:30 AM
Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, Dec. 23, 2008 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.
• Tenderloin Tuesday at The Men's Club.
• Alternative lifestyles party at NV.
• Tappas Tuesday.
• Take a limo ride to see Christmas Town USA.
• Spice up your party with the Charlotte Party Starters.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Pep in your step The results are:
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 1:38 PM
So, I took one of those online sex quizzes today.
Here's my results:
YOUR RESULT: Wild Thing, You Make Your Man's Heart Sing!
Some people sky dive. Others bungee jump. Your adventure of choice is exploring the limits of sexual experience. You're completely open to new things, whether it's bringing edible body paint to bed with your partner, working your way through the Kama Sutra or daring to do the deed someplace you might get caught. So long as you're safe, more power to you. But even as you're twisting into the Indian Headstand or the Balancing Act, just be sure you're contorting for all the right reasons: Because it's fun for you, not simply because you want to impress a randy partner.
But if that's all it takes to be wild, then the author of said quiz must be some sort of prude.
So, I decided to come up with my own quiz. It's simple.
Answer the following questions yes or no. You get two points for each yes and one point for each no.
- Do you suggest new things in bed?
- Have you ever had an anal orgasm?
- Do you swallow?
- Have you ever shown up at your mate's house or place of work naked or dressed in a sexy costume--unannounced?
- Do you send steamy text messages or e-mails to your partner and act out what you described to him or her on a weekly basis
Here's how to score yourself:
1-5: Maybe you should spice up your sex life; if you have one.
6-7: You have a healthy sex life and you will try anything once or twice. Three times is just overkill for you.
8-10: You are a true wild thing. There probably should be a warning label attached to your ass.
Hard News Tis the season to be horny
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 8:45 AM
A report came out today saying that the holiday season is prime time for making love.
Or hooking up or having sex, whatever you want to call it.
"Right before New Year's Eve is our highest sales peak," said David Johnson, group product manager for Trojan brand condoms, the leading U.S. seller.
Thank goodness people are practicing safe sex. I can see why people would have more sex during the holidays, there's a lot of liquor flowing. People are dressed to the nines and everyone is happy.
What makes you even happier is getting off. When you have an orgasm, your body releases prolactin, which makes you feel so good. And who doesn't want to feel good during the holidays? Especially if you have to deal with crazy family drama.
Besides, if you've spent your day fighting through the mall looking for a gift, the best thing for you do at home is to get some, hard and fast.
But Christmas and New Year's aren't the only holidays that see a spike in sexual activity.
Accordingly, the long July Fourth, Memorial Day and Labor Day weekends also produce spikes in condom sales, Trojan's Johnson said.So does the run-up to Valentine's Day, he added.
Now, everyone is not lucky enough to have a lot of good holiday sex. According to HitchedMag.com, some couples suffer a holiday sex slump.
This time of year can be stressful for a number of reasons. As a result, many couples experience more of a sex slump during the holidays than any other time of year. The reasons for the slump can be a result of factors like anxiety over holiday shopping and bills, family visits and weight gain.
So, what can you do to make sure you're getting everything you need and want for Christmas?
Hitched Mag says, eat right, act like a kid and wash your booty, to make sure you and yours have a very Merry Christmas.
If that doesn't work, you can always have an affair. (Just kidding.)
Today’s Top(less) 5 Today's Top(less) 5: Monday
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 6:30 AM
Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, Dec. 22,2008 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.
• Finish your Christmas shopping at The Red Door.
• Speed dating and singing.
• Single's yacht ride.
• Steak and shrimp at the Men's Club.
• $5 dance and no cover charge at the Gold Club.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Test Ride Can't afford to buy porn, try online.
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Fri, Dec 19, 2008 at 8:52 AM
I have a good friend who admits she has an semi-addiction.
She likes to watch porn. Good porn, bad porn, gay porn, whatever.
But she works for a giant that could fold any day now and she can't purchase as many movies as she used to. Five a month to be specific.
So, last night we talked about what she could do, other than watch the same movies she already had. "I've seen them all about three million times," she groaned. "But each time I watch them, I learn something new."
"Your boyfriend must be so happy," I said.
"We broke up. He said some of the stuff I'm into is too much for him. That's why I need new porn."
Taking a sip of juice I looked at her and shook my head. "Why don't you just buy some new movies?" Case closed, let's move on, I thought.
"Because a good movie is nearly $40. Now that I'm paying my rent on my own and other bills since he left, I really can't afford to feed the porn monster."
"Have you gone online? You're always on your computer." I opened my laptop. "There are some free porn sites out there."
"Yeah, but they have one second clips."
"Ah, no. Let me introduce you to PornHub."
It was like a two-year old waking up Christmas morning finding toys underneath the tree. I guess this makes me an enabler.
However, she got me to thinking about other people trying to save money who like to watch porn. Those movies are expensive. Even the old ones. There's nothing wrong with watching porn online at HOME. Please don't risk your job to watch someone receiving a blow job.
Another free site is RedTube. While you're going to see some of the same videos that are on PornHub, it does offer an array of cartoon porn.
I'm sure my friend is going to be glued to her computer all weekend getting her fill of free porn. While that's good for her, it sucks for the adult industry, which is seeing losses. Creative Loafing wrote about it in June.
If it was bad then, imagine how it is now.
Today's Top(less) 5: Friday
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Fri, Dec 19, 2008 at 6:30 AM
Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, Dec. 19 2008 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.
• Alternative lifestyle party.
• Have a party and breakfast at the Men's Club.
• Celebrate with Boris.
• It's Ladies' Night at Crush.
• Naughty little Christmas Party.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
He said/She said Fighting over the wet spot
Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Thu, Dec 18, 2008 at 9:30 AM
Picture it, last night in a king-sized bed.
You and your partner had the best, wettest and hottest sex. You connected mind, body and soul. He pulled out some Kama Sutra moves and you matched him stroke for stroke.
Then it was over and there was a huge wet spot on the sheets. Now, you're doing everything in your power not to end up sleeping in it. He glances at it and moves to the driest spot in the bed, looking over his shoulder saying, "You made it, you sleep in it."
Damn it! If it wasn't 3 in the morning, you'd be happy to change the sheets, but you're tired and all you want to do is sleep. But there is no effing way that you're sleeping in the wet spot.
So, what do you do?
There are love pads. Yes, you read that right. But who has those things lying around?
You could bitch and moan for the next 20 minutes -- but, hello, you want to protect the afterglow, don't you. There is nothing sexy about arguing after climaxing. Still, you don't want to sleep in the wet spot and he's damn near in a coma now as you stand over the bed grimacing at the prospect of lying in all that love juice.
This guy says you should put a towel over the wet spot and pretend you're spending the night at the beach.
Ugh, no.
For $36, you can get Luv Linens. That's a lot for some damned sheets.
So, I guess that means the only thing to do is fight over the wet spot, afterglow be damned.
-
Woman dies from masturbation 38
I thought killing yourself while experiencing an orgasm was just an old wives' tale.
