Friday, September 25, 2009

Beat it

Posted By on Fri, Sep 25, 2009 at 9:25 AM

At one point or another we've all encountered the following scenario, and if you haven't then I'm assuming you're on some hermit type 'ish':

Boy meets girl. Boy and girl have a few conversations and agree to go out on a date to get to know each other better. After the date, one is not feeling the other and prepares themselves to fall off the face of the earth never to be heard from ever again. Leaving the other person sitting there blinking wondering WTF?!

Which brings us to today's lesson in Meik's world: How to tell someone you just aren't feeling them or remotely even interested.

Now, before you continue reading, let me preface this with a warning: Before you follow any of the items I'm about to list for you, make sure you have observed ALL red flags and have done your share of screening. "Why," you ask? Well, nowadays folks sipping on that punk-naide and acting a donkey could snap without flinching and you'll just be ... well, if you watch the news, you get the point. You just can't mess with crazy folks.

With that warning out of the way, let's proceed, shall we?

I took an informal poll of my Facebook friends and posed the question to them. Granted, I'm no researcher but hey, my blog, my poll ... nuff said.

Here are the top ways they said (with my tweaking of course ) to let someone know you just aren't interested:

5. Post a tweet or Facebook status that reads: (your name) IS NOT INTERESTED IN (fill in the blank.) LOSE MY NUMBER EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. PLEASE AND THANKS.

***bonus** E-mail and text messages are favorite methods as well!

4. Attempt to play matchmaker by hooking them up someone else and pray they get the hint. I'm sure we all know how well that bitch Karma loves to bite us in the ass at times; so if you follow this route, make sure you at least hook them up with someone that has something in common with them — that way they won't come slithering back to you in bug-a-boo mode.

3. Inform them that you have a few STDs that you're trying to shake and it's best that you focus on that for right now. Now ... if that mofo tells you that they have the same ish and y'all can work through it together, lace up them sneakers, and RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!

2. Let every last one of your multiple personalities be unleashed. For example, let's say you have the following personalities: Tiny, Toya, Frankie and Neffe (if you don't know who these chicks are, watch BET or Google them please). You take each of those personalities and amp it up to 200 percent and make them all argue with each other over the simplest shit in public. When I say simple, I mean it has to be simple — like "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a damn tootsie pop" simple. If that don't work, then hell, you really have a desperate lame on your hands and you may just have to follow the No. 1 way to tell them to kick rocks.

1. Just being honest. After all, honesty is the best policy. Especially if that person is on that "Steve Urkel Wear a Mofo Down Til They Give In" type ish; at this point, there's no room for error. Say it like it is point blank.

Lesson Learned: I've always been taught to treat people like you want to be treated. If you would prefer someone to play games and make you figure out if they are or are not interested, then fine, do what you do. However, rather than waste someone's time, the best approach is to just say (in a nice way of course) that you just aren't compatible and move the hell on. Otherwise you end up with blogs like mine (mofochronicles.blogspot.com).

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