Saturday, October 3, 2009

The 'Problem Solver'

Posted By on Sat, Oct 3, 2009 at 1:05 PM

Have you ever just had one of those days where nothing seems to go right?

Car runs out of gas on I-77 during rush hour traffic; you spill your red Kool-Aid (yes i said red) all over your new white shirt; your hands are ashy; you come home to find out the lights and water have been cut off because you forgot to pay the bill; and you just got laid off.

Ah yes, the joys of everyday life in the Queen City.

So you pray, fast, meditate, scream, cry, and shout, send out a few tweets ... then on last impulse ... you turn to your group of friends — or with the new Twitter/Facebook craze, you turn to 1,000 of your closest friends.

What to do???

Well, I'm sure everyone knows someone who thinks they know the answer to everything — whether it’s male or female — their answer for EVERYTHING is always the same:

Call the "problem solver"!

Who is that Meik?

Well, lo and behold, it's a bird, it's a plane, no wait, it's Captain Save-A-Hoe's lil brother Captain Long Stroke or his sister Princess Puss in (thigh-hi) Boots.

Their specialty?

Yep, you got it: Sex you down — problem solved.

Now, I don't know about you my dear Creative Loafing readers, but if I tell you that my eyeball just fell out into my hand, a mofo better not fix their lips to tell me that sex is going to solve that. Instead, I'm gonna need someone to call 9-1-1 or drive a sista to the hospital! Let me get my shit re-attached before you have someone getting their freak on!

It amazes me how sex has relaxed beyond i’s "casual" means. Don't get me wrong, sex is a beautiful thing, but come on, can it really solve the fact that coolant is leaking from the car and onto the driveway?

Well, on second thought, if you play that gold-digger card it just might get it fixed. But I digress (see previous blog on I ain't calling you a gold digger).

At what point in our lives is it time to realize that the "problem solvers" can't actually SOLVE the problem? All it does is makes you forget for a little while, it's purpose is to throw a Band-Aid on it and become a TEMPORARY solution over the real problem.

My advice?

I always follow the rules of the corporate world: business before pleasure.

If you handle your business, things can be solved. Then afterwards, if you wanna call the problem solver to clear out the cob webs, then do you boo!


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