Interviews

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Sex Q&A: Erotica writer Rachel Kramer Bussel

Posted By on Tue, Oct 20, 2009 at 12:47 PM

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When the book Bottoms Up: Spanking good stories came across my desk, I was super curious. Of course, by the title you know it's about spanking ... but what about spanking?

Rachel Kramer Bussel edited the tome, which contains 20 short stories about spanking. The stories range from funny to thought-provoking. While they all have an erotic theme to them, not every stories has explicit sex. It's a great read. Creative Loafing spoke with Kramer Bussel about the book and found out this isn't the first booty-smacking anthology she's been a part of.

Creative Loafing: Why stories about spanking?

Kramer Bussel: It's something that I've been interested in for a while. It's a fun topic, it's not as intimidating as some other S&M activities. There is room for playfulness  and I think it's something that when you say spanking, people immediately know what it is. It's something that's popular and people are curious about.

Do you hope the stories in this book will inspire people to try spanking?

I don't feel like I have an agenda, that I want more people to try spanking. But I do think it's something that a lot of people are curious about and a book of erotica is different from a 'how-to-book' and I think it can be a good way into the topic -- whether it's reading it by yourself or with a lover. I hope that the kind of experiences in the book are realistic enough that people might say, 'I may be interested in trying that.' I think it's something that people can read and say, can I put myself in the character's position. I hope that it's sort of a way to say that all sorts of people are interested in spanking.

How did you choose the stories that were in the book? What was it about these stories that kept the idea of spanking fresh?

It can be challenging, especially because you know going into it that all of the stories are about spanking. I really try to emphasize thinking creative, make it interesting and different. Because you don't just want [stories about] 'you've been a bad girl, I'm going to take you over my knee.' You want something that's in some way surprising.

Some of the stand-out stories in the book are:

"A Thousand Words" by Donna George Storey

"Sorority Sister" by Dominique Dunbar

"The Spanking Machine" by Rachel Kramer Bussel

"Flaming" by Jean Roberta

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Friday, October 9, 2009

Togas and burlesque ... only with Big Mamma D!

Posted By on Fri, Oct 9, 2009 at 4:00 PM

Tomorrow night it’s going to be an Animal House at The Visulite — when Big Mamma D brings back her award-winning House of Burlesque. This edition carries a toga-party-oriented theme (ala the Animal House reference). We caught up with the woman behind the tease and got the lowdown about her upcoming event.

Creative Loafing: How did you come up with the idea for a toga party?

Big Mamma D: Ideas kind of just come to me. I got a phone call in August from a lady who was a professor at UNC and she's doing a whole series on the history of human sexuality. She wanted me to come and teach for a day in my full get up, the whole deal. Burlesque lady walking around campus and teaching classes and I couldn't pass it up. While I was getting my material together, it just hit me. We had originally planned another theme for this show and since I hadn't launched it, I said "scrap that, we're doing a toga party." It's anything you can imagine. I even have a leopard print ladies suite ala Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate.

Why do you think burlesque and your shows stay so popular?

We are the thinking-person's porn, and I hate to call it porn. But we're the thinking-person's fun and frivolity. We may not be popular with the 22-year-olds who like to go to BarCharlotte. But the 40-year-olds who leave the kids at home and go out with their wives to celebrate anniversaries and birthdays and all that stuff, those are the people who are the long term. You get a lot of tease, you get a brief flash of pasty. We have a lot of fun, and we always poke fun at ourselves. There's a story behind every act, something that makes you think. You're not watching a girl walk out and drop her clothes. That's why the music is fun. We do a Venus act, you know with the Bananarama song "Venus"? Halfway through the act, she takes her leg and props it up on a chair and pulls out this big blue Venus razor and pretends to shave her leg. It's a joke and a play on pop culture because everybody has seen that stupid commercial.

Have you always had more women at your shows than men? (Note to guys looking to meet a woman who isn't your run of the mill type of person — go to Big Mamma D's show)

It has. I was really shocked because I thought it was going to be a lot of guys and we'd get the really neat alternative followers, the more trendy people, the Plaza-Midwood, the NoDa, and it ended up being a really good mix. You can come to show and no one has to wait outside for the door to open any more. Girls and guys can come to show dressed up in different outfits. Girls come to show wearing that one corset that she splurged on that she can't wear anywhere else and here she comes to my club with a $300 corset on.

Because you have women of all shapes and sizes in your show, is that why so many women are drawn to the show?

I think so. I think everybody can identify with the average girl. As soon as she walks up in an evening gown covered in rhinestones, and she's just sparkling because she feels so great about herself, you love it. Everybody loves a confident woman. In April, I was a size 24 and after three years [the audience] still loves me for it. I walk out and I know who I am. People appreciate confidence and the beauty of every kind of woman, it doesn't matter what size you are.

So, do you want to see the Animal House of Burlesque, along with a wet toga contest at "halftime?" The head to the Visulite, Saturday night at 8 p.m. Advanced tickets for the show are $12. Tickets at the door are $15. Log on to www.bigmammasproductions.com for more information.

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Coming out tales: Matt Comer, editor of Q-Notes

Posted By on Fri, Oct 9, 2009 at 10:32 AM

Matt Comer is editor of Q-Notes, the Carolinas' LGBT newspaper. Active in LGBT advocacy since high school, Matt's story of growing up gay in a conservative and religious family was published alongside 39 others in Mitchell Gold's Crisis: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social, and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay In America.

"I came out when I was 14 at the end of my eighth-grade year in Winston-Salem. The first folks that I came out to were friends. Actually, the first person that I came out to was a friend in my Boy Scout troop, then friends at school and then my family," he said.

And Comer said there weren't many role models for a gay boy to see at the time — when the predominate image of gay men came from Queer as Folk and Will and Grace. "I was trying to fit into some mold that I though was supposed to be me. I got a lot of flack from friends because I was this stereotypical, flamboyant gay kid. But it was easier for friends to accept me than it was my family. I still have discussion with my mother today about whether homosexuality is right or wrong."

"Winston-Salem is definitely a conservative town and my family was a conservative religious family. We're baptist from the South and they very much believed that homosexuality was a sin. So, I had a lot of tough battles between me and my mother over my sexual orientation. But being raised in a very conservative and fundamentalist baptist church, the one thing that I've always been taught is that I should stand up for what I believe in and that's exactly what I did. When I was a freshman at R.J. Reynolds High School, I started the gay-straight alliance there. Back in 2000, there were only nine gay-straight alliances statewide, but it's almost ten-fold that number now, there are close to 100."

Comer said there weren't a lot of people in his community that were happy to see groups like his, but he found allies in the conservative community. Including his school principal.

"That experience, that advocacy experience in high school set me on the track that I'm on today, working with and for the LGBT community."

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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Coming out tales: Mitchell Killman

Posted By on Thu, Oct 8, 2009 at 10:00 AM

Mitchell Killman was the local organizer of this summer's Nationwide Kiss-In Movement in Charlotte.

And he's also a part of the OUT Parade that's happening in Uptown on October 11th, which is National Coming Out Day.

"The OUT Parade is a sidewalk parade to celebrate national Coming Out Day and provide more visibility and support for Charlotte's LGBT community and their allies," he said.

Killman talks about his coming out this way:

"I came out to my immediate family on September 16th, 2002, not long after having left home for college. Looking back I realize that coming out is not so much an one-time event as it is a life-long process.Coming out has been equally the most painful and the most rewarding experience I've ever had in life. Never has anything taught me so much and made me so thankful and proud of who I am. Being out has made me more compassionate, patient, tolerant and open-minded.

"More than anything, coming out has led me to a higher standard of honesty for my own life and the people I am closest with. I wouldn't trade my coming out experience for anything and I encourage others to join us on October 11th and COME OUT!"

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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Coming out tales: Monica Raye Simpson

Posted By on Wed, Oct 7, 2009 at 12:02 PM

Monica Raye Simpson said she arrived in Charlotte as a student and was just figuring out who she was.

It was during her tenure at Johnson C. Smith University that she became her true self.

"I started to realize more and more who I was identifying as wasn't really the truth and felt like I was having to keep that face as a person who was young, black, woman who had to be with a guy because that's what fit and that's what society wanted to see. I wanted to be a good [communications] professional, I wanted to make a

difference in society. And I didn't see women who were black and identified as lesbian in that role. So whenever those thoughts came up when I was in college and those feelings and those urges, I was like push that to the side, stay in the picture."

But she said that after awhile, she couldn't do that any longer.

"I saw many of my friends being abused, violent acts started happening against LGBT folks on campus and nothing being done about that. So, a group of us came together at that time and said, we're going to stand up for our people. We didn't really know who to call or contact. The Lesbian and Gay Community Center was getting started at the time. One of the other people I met at the time was a pastor who had just moved here to start a church that was welcoming all of God's children home and her name was — at that time — Rev. Tonia Rawls, now it's "Bishop." She became a really great advisor to us. We had a big forum on campus, and I graduated ... and I think they were ready for me to graduate because I had become really militant at that time. I was a very militant lesbian and was like, "you better get used to it". I was the editor of the student newspaper, so I was writing about this stuff, and I was about to denounce my sorority letters. At the time, I was really about it."

After coming out, Simpson made a career of working in the LGBT community. Her first job after college was with the Lesbian and Gay Community Center. She was one of the founders of Charlotte's black gay pride and she currently works for Grassroots Leadership, a progressive Southern movement that works to bring Southern activists together.

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Sex Q&A: Behind the scenes at AdamMale and Adam & Eve

Posted By on Tue, Oct 6, 2009 at 9:51 AM

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Think of the last place you bought a sex toy from or the last sex shop you visited. If you walked into an Adam & Eve store or logged on to AdamMale.com, you were — believe it or not — supporting local business.

Creative Loafing spoke with Bobby Stone, marketing director of AdamMale, which is a leader in gay male home entertainment that is under the Adam and Eve umbrella, about the company and how people react to the fact that one of the nation's leading sex shops is right here in North Carolina.

Creative Loafing: Are people surprised that you all are located in North Carolina?

Bobby Stone: We are pretty much under the radar. Adam and Eve is a well-known name, but people are surprised that AdamMale is located here in North Carolina, particularly in Hillsborough.

What are some things you've heard when people find out that your company is headquartered in North Carolina?

Well, a few years ago — about 15 years ago — the name Jesse Helms kept popping up. "Isn't that where Jesse Helms is from?"

What are some of the most exciting toys that you guys sell?

To me, some of our larger toys go over very well with the AdamMale customers. And for those who can afford them, some of our life-like torso pieces. They go over very well. This year had been the year for prostate toys; vibrating prostate toys have really taken hold in the straight and the gay market this year.

The AdamMale Web site is for gay men, but can't some of those toys sold at the site be used by straight couples?

We carry a full line of dildos that women can use and couples can use. There is a great deal of crossover, products that can be used by the gay audience and the straight audience. But it really depends on the packaging. I really don't like to carry anything on the AdamMale line that has a woman on the package.

What makes your company stand out from others that sell sex toys?

We're constantly testing and we have a very strong entrepreneurial spirit. When I say testing, we're not only testing the new products that we offer, but we're testing new ways to bring in new customers. We keep our eyes open for everything and we have our hands in every place where you can reach an audience for adult products.

Want to check out Adam and Eve and AdamMale online? Log on at: www.adammale.com and www.adameve.com

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Nationwide Kiss In comes to Charlotte

Posted By on Tue, Aug 11, 2009 at 3:52 PM

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No matter how you feel about public displays of affection, this weekend, kissing in the park is for a good cause.

On August 15th, the Nationwide Kiss In comes to Freedom Park in the QC. The kissing gets started at 1 p.m. and runs until 3 p.m. All couples are invited to come out and show their support.

The Nationwide Kiss In is a response to three arrests across the nation of same sex couples kissing.

In December, two women in San Antonio, Texas, were arrested for “making out.” Then, in El Paso, Texas, on June 29, at a Chico’s Tacos restaurant two men were handcuffed and subsequently threatened with arrest by police after one kissed the other on the cheek. And most recently, in a well-publicized case, two men were detained by security guards of the Mormon Church, then arrested by police on July 10, yes, that’s right, for kissing.

David Badash, one of the national organizers of the event, spoke with Creative Loafing about the Kiss In:

Creative Loafing: What do you hope the kiss in will show law enforcement?

Badash: The Great Nationwide Kiss-In is a celebration and affirmation of ALL couples' right to publicly acknowledge their loved-ones, with a kiss. While these events are not directed at any one group or organization, it is true that in some communities, local law enforcement, and private security agents, have harassed and/or detained or even arrested same-sex couples for the simple act of sharing a kiss.

Have you gotten support from people outside of the LGBT community?

Badash: The Great Nationwide Kiss-In is not an LGBTQ-only event. Not only have we received tremendous support from people across all communities, but we have straight couples organizing events in their hometowns.

Have right-winged "religious" groups said if they plan to protest the kiss in?

Badash: I am not aware of any groups planning protests against any Great Nationwide Kiss-In events. Our events are specifically designed to be peaceful, non-partisan, non-denominational, and non-confrontational.

When you heard about the same sex couples getting arrested for kissing, what was you immediate thought?

Badash: After the first event I learned about, the same-sex couple in El Paso, who were threatened with arrest by local law enforcement, which, by the way, as I understand, THEY had called in response to the Chico's Tacos restaurant guards trying to expel them, I was saddened. After the incident a few weeks later, in Salt Lake City, I confess I was angered. After doing more research, and learning that these were not isolated incidents, I felt compelled to act. That's when I wrote, "It’s Time For A Nationwide Kiss-In!" which kicked-off The Great Nationwide Kiss-In. I'd like to point out that, it seems to me, each time the LGBTQ community is discriminated against, each time we lose a battle for our rights, we come back stronger and stronger. Prop 8, which never should have existed, has mobilized millions of Americans - gay and straight - to work toward equality for all Americans. That's one of the beautiful things about Americans - we stand together for what we know is right.

Seeing the number of cities with Kiss Ins planned, how does that make you feel?

Badash: Honestly, when I called for a nationwide kiss-in, I hoped that a few people would feel motivated, and maybe there would be Kiss-Ins in a few large cities. I never dreamed that The Great Nationwide Kiss-In would become a 50+ city event, taking place in 31 states and two countries. I never dreamed we'd have high school students organizing these events. Or straight couples. Or so many thousands of people investing so much time and energy to make The Great Nationwide Kiss-In such a success. I am forever grateful to them, and especially to two people, my co-founders, Wilow Witte, of Join The Impact, and David Mailloux, who writes at DYM-SUM.com.

I noticed that you reached out to people through Facebook, do you think this is how the movement will go on--with social networking?

Badash: Several people have called this a "2.0" movement, referring to grassroots organizations' use of social networking tools like Facebook and Twitter, which we definitely have. As a writer and strong user of social media, I do believe that technology is making it easier for people to connect and to educate. But even without these tools, I believe people of like minds would come together anyway. Working together to right a wrong is the American way. We're simply using whatever tools we can find to help people understand that a kiss is just a kiss. No one should ever be arrested for kissing.

I wonder how Charlotte Mecklenburg Police are going to handle this peaceful protest? Here's hoping that a little sweet lip will open people's eyes to love in all shapes and forms.

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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The 'Vixen' speaks: Karrine Steffans talks The Vixen Manual

Posted By on Wed, Jul 1, 2009 at 4:04 PM

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In the world of hip-hop, she was the one who kissed, sucked and told it all.

Karrine Steffans shocked the world of hip-hop in 2005 when she released Confessions of A Video Vixen.”

In this book she let it all hang out and told how hip-hop’s biggest stars treated her like a well-worn mattress.

Four years and two books later, Steffans is set to release the book she calls her “baby,” The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce & Keep the Man You Want.

“This is the first book that I actually started writing, but no one wanted to by it,” Steffans said in an interview with Creative Loafing. “The first two books, Confessions and the Vixen Diaries were part of the machine. It wasn’t what I really wanted to do, but publishers said to me this is what you should do.”

She said with the publication of The Vixen Manual, she feels lighter and like a different person.

The book is just what it says, a guide to seduction that, in very explicit terms, tells women what they should be doing to get a man. And from someone who once answered to the nickname “Superhead” you’d think The Vixen Manual would be all about sex — it isn’t, completely about sex.

“This is stuff that I learned along the way and I’m really glad that I didn’t finish it four or five years ago because I didn’t know anything four or five years ago,” she said. “And in four or five years from now, I will know so much more than I know now.”

In case you’re wondering, Steffans does have a man. She said that she married Darius McCrary – Eddie Winslow from the ABC sit-com Family Matters. Steffans even dedicated the book to her husband for “taming a vixen.”

“It’s not that I’m an expert,” she said, and also writes in the preface of the book, “It’s just things that I’ve learned or things that have been told to me. I got a lot of advice from older people who are not in my generation and gave me some of that old school sensibility that I was lacking and most of us are lacking because the world has changed so much.”

Continue reading »

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