Over the past week, there have been discussions on social media about "going Dutch" — or paying for your own meal — for the first date.

This week’s dating tale is a good look at how NOT to bring up the "going Dutch" idea.

Melanie met Al on a dark, starry night while walking to her car after enjoying a night out with her friends. They exchanged numbers and in the following days, did what folks USED to do — actually talk on the phone, not just text. Al does what any normal male interested in getting to know a nice young lady does: he asks her out on a date. Yes, y’all A DATE. Not a booty call, not that "can I come over to your house and ‘kick it’ or ‘hang out’" type ish. So, Melanie is elated, because like I’ve told y’all before, dates like this just don’t happen much, it seems, around the Queen City.

Fast-forward a few days and they agree to keep it low key and meet at a restaurant near her job. You know this is going to have a red flag right? Al wants to meet at 10 p.m. on a Tuesday night for no reason that he can articulate, except he wants to finish watching something on television. Blink blink blink.

Boy meets girl. Boy asks girl out. Boy and girl go out and everything goes well and they skip off into the sunset. Sounds just like a Lifetime movie minus the drama, huh? By now, we’ve established that in dating and love, there is no movie script to follow; it’s just navigating these choppy dating waters the best way we know how. So, without further ado, welcome to another tale of dating in Charlotte.

Sarah met Chris at his part-time job at the gas station. He asked her out, and a few days later, she picks him up to go to Applebee’s in the University area. (Side note: I can already see the tweets about Applebee’s not being a prime location for a first date, but you gotta go where your pockets will allow you to go, mmk?) So our lovely couple gets to the restaurant, and Sarah orders water and a salad. Chris, on the other hand, orders a steak, Sprite and sweet tea, which brings the total dinner to about $25. (Not bad for a first date.) As soon as the check comes, Chris has absolutely not one ounce of give-a-damn and asks if Sarah would like to split the bill 50/50.

*blink blink blink*

Chris. Chris. Chris. If you didn’t have enough money for the date, you should have taken Sarah to the boardwalk and let her get an ice cream cone. For $5, you could have called it a night. But hey, I’m sleep.

Sarah informs cheap ass that she has no problem leaving a tip, but she is not paying for any of the stuff he ate. Besides, she drove. In the end, he reluctantly paid for the meal.

Needless to say, the next stop is to drop Chris off at home. On the way to his house, he pulls the tried and true line of, "Let’s finish the night off at my house and watch a movie." Sarah, being the nice person she is — or maybe she just doesn’t want to go home yet — agrees to come in.

Welcome to this week’s house of dating horrors. I figured I couldn’t just tell your stories without telling one of my own.

Once upon a time, I decided to venture into online dating. Now, don’t get me wrong, online dating can be a great way to meet people without having to set one toe into a bar, club, lounge, or for some of you heathens, church.

I started corresponding with a nice guy named Joe. Nice meaning he was in his late 20s, had a great job, was intelligent, could hold a convo, and best of all, could read and write. Listen to me when I tell you that fact alone is a rarity these days. Anyway, we had a couple of dates, and everything seems to be heading into the right direction.

So, it’s inevitable that Joe wants to graduate to the dreaded “house dates.” Those consist of going to his/her house and watching movies, cooking dinner, a little touchy feely, and probably intimacy at some point. At this point, I didn’t want him to come to my house, but I figured there’s no harm in going to his house to check things out, right?

Have you ever been on a date when you think all signs are pointing to a strong possibility of a second or third date? Everything is going right: the conversation is on point; he smells good, looks right and even has manners. He opens doors, makes sure you are comfortable and genuinely seems interested in learning about you and not just seeing what color panties you have on.

Perfect date material, isn’t it. Too bad this isn’t how this week’s date played out.

Once upon a time, a woman named Gloria met a nice handsome man named Lavon. Now, Lavon was sexy — well, according to Gloria. I haven’t seen a picture so I can’t speak on that.

Anyway, Lavon asks Gloria out to dinner. She says everything was right: They had a nice dinner and some great conversation.

Allow me to interject one thing here, fellas. The way to our heart sometimes is being able to hold an INTELLIGENT, WITTY and FUNNY conversation. Learn to talk about other things than just sex and what you can do and what you want in the bedroom. Nobody — well, unless they are looking for a booty call — wants to hear all that for the first few convos. Besides, you might think you are working with a lot and you may just get your feelings hurt later.

Back to the story.

Gloria and Lavon are really feeling each other, so of course they don’t want the evening to come to an end just yet, so Lavon asks her if she’d like a nightcap at his place.

I swear to gawd, I thought that nightcap line was just for primetime dramas and soap operas, but hey, if it works, use what you know!

Guess who's bizack?

So, most of you probably don't remember me, so allow me to re-introduce myself, my name is ... I almost typed HOV but had to reel that in for a second. Well, you can check the bio and you'll know exactly who I am.

In my return to Creative Loafing's Bangtown, I'm interested in sharing stories of the good, bad and ugly sides of dating in the Queen City. I know I can't be alone in this journey to uncover the one, and we all have to kiss a few frogs and THOTS before you find your Prince Charming or Princess Not a Hoe, am I right?

Let's kick off with a story I had no business eavesdropping on but couldn't stop myself. The names have been changed to protect the dumb and innocent, so buckle up — this could get a little ... wet.

In the 2002 movie, Barbershop, Cedric the Entertainer’s character Eddie asked, “If we can't talk straight in a barbershop, then where can we talk straight?” Well, Eddie could, as some might say, “let er rip” at Charlotte’s Barber Shop and Beauty Salon Confessions on March 19 at Red@28th in NoDa. The event encourages uncensored conversations, like those in a barbershop, about dating and relationships.

Jameka Whitten of the JSW Media Group says that although it doesn’t actually take place in a barbershop, the venue provides a “laid-back, non-pretentious environment where both men and women can be free to voice their opinions about relationships.” The March meeting will build on the first discussion held in February, about friendships with the opposite sex.

Looking to increase February’s attendance of 25, the Barbershop and Beauty Salon Confessions will focus on the friend zone uncertainty and men with financial woes. Who doesn’t have something to say about the dreaded friend zone? The problem is, how do you bring it up?

“Personally, dating has sucked for me in Charlotte, but I don’t think that it has to, or that it does for everyone,” says Whitten. “Forums like this get the issues out in the open without ridicule and judgment.”

If an honest discussion is an exchange of knowledge, then a $10 ticket is worth the price of admission to stimulate healthy relationship growth. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to benefit The Red Pump Project-Charlotte to provide HIV/AIDS awareness and education.

Save the date for March 19 at Red@28th (2424 N. Davidson St.) from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Boo ...

Suga ...

Honey ...

Babe ...

Whatever floats your boat, but calling your significant other or jumpoff a nickname is pretty common.

Until Usher decided to release a song with a familiar title " Daddy's Home" ... once that hit the airwaves, it seems like some folks lost their minds! Actually this goes back a little further because I have been all kinds of uncomfortable ever since I heard a 17-year-old Jermaine Jackson croon "Daddy's Home" ... and without laying the blame on just those two, there are plenty of other artists who have put that same message out into the universe.

So clearly, this has been going on for years and passed on generation to generation. It's a sign that folks are on some other ish right now.

What you mean Meik?

I'm glad you asked. I met a guy, we exchanged numbers. And I'm awful with names, so I ask him for his name again so I can put it into my phone; he replies: "You can call me just call me 'Daddy.'"

Really now? (As I "side eye" him and delete the number from my phone.)

When did it become socially acceptable to refer to each other as "Mama" and "Daddy" if you didn't participate in conceiving or raising each other?

What does that say about the men who want to be referred to as a parental unit, especially in the throes of passion (I've always wanted to use that phrase now I can, but I digress ...) and what does that say about the women who go along with it? Does this mean there are some underlying issues? Wel,l I'm not a psychologist so I don't know ... I just blog.

Before you go pointing the fingers at me — and I know if you follow me on twitter (@mofochronicles shameless plug!) you've noticed that I have tweeted with friends calling them "Daddy," simply because its funny that some females actually do it and mean it! I'm simply being snarky sarcastic.

I personally have a father who would probably wring my f'in neck if he remotely even heard me call a man that I'm dating "Daddy." I just find it odd to use that as a term of endearment when that's a title reserved for the man who gives me unconditional love and has raised me to become the smart-ass I am today. (Thanks Dad!)

For some, maybe it's the thrill of calling someone else Daddy. Hell, I don't know. Or maybe they are looking for someone to take control and have some sort of power over them. Or maybe there's just nothing wrong with it at all (Side eye blink. Blink.)

I challenge you men out there to think about this: The next time you ask a female to call you "Daddy," imagine if it was your daughter calling another man that. Lemme know how that works out for you. I'll wait.