They say that drinking impairs your motor skills... except when it comes to operating the keypad on a cell phone apparently because impaired fingers are the devil’s text messagers...
With the invention of texting it’s not just drunk dialing you have to worry about anymore... it’s the little typed — and often misspelled messages — you send via text (that can be saved and posted on-line for everyone to read). And cell phones may have a lot of bells and whistles these days, but they don't have a filter to help you think before you text.
So much for my idea of inventing a breathalyzer app for your phone so that restricts you from calling certain numbers if you’ve been drinking... which is pretty much every number other than a cab company. We’ve all been there... when we’re looking at our sent boxes and then we proceed to smack our forehead and then think to ourselves, “wtf?” Yeah, the receiving end of that phone was probably wondering the same thing when they read it.
Well now there’s a national website that posts said texts Text from Last Night — it lets us know that we’re not alone in being trigger happy on text, and provides us with a laugh.
… and I just had to share.
HAlarious.com:
“Apparently I called 911 every time Sean Kingston told me to”
“I want you”
“Stop dating girls with the same name as your mother or strop drinking so much ... I don’t wanna see that”
“Nothing says plantonic group sex like campfires and smores”
Local band Simplified even got mentioned in one:
"i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background"
"hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god"
And then there's the "morning after texts" ...
“We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night”
“I went to Arby’s at 2:30 a.m. and banged on the window for them to make me a Beefy”
Some of my girls and I discovered Texts from Last Night while on a road trip to the beach. We entertained ourselves for hours reading them, so that night my friend sent her boyfriend one she found on there.
“This is a mass text. Where am I” Her boyfriend replied concerned, so she dropped him another one ...
“Hold on, I have to call you back, there’s a cheeseburger in my pocket.”
Meanwhile I’m in the corner have my own unscripted texts throughout the night ...
You can do more than dine at the Indochine Grill in the EpiCentre... you can bang there too — after dark, that is. Because Indochine Grill (Asian Tapas and Lounge) is opening up the Bang Bang Lounge. At night, the restaurant transforms into a lounge — and pretty much like a transformer, considering the furniture even adjusts to the different atmospheres.
The Bang Bang Lounge will be a progressive chill lounge with bottle service, hookahs ... and "naked tapas." And that is like naked sushi ... nothing to do with banging. They’ll also be setting up a patio to utilize their coveted second-floor-of-EpiCentre space.
Monday is their SIN night and Thursdays are Zin nights for ladies to feel zen with goodies from the Red Door and then there's "Electro Soy Sauce" Fridays and you can "Nail it" on Saturday at the Bang Bang Lounge.
Since Blackfinn opened, it has become the most consistently crowded spot in the EpiCentre for its ability to transition back and forth from sports bar to dance bar. It’s become a battleground for ACC teams — and where I as a Hokie spent my game days. And considering I saw some of their bartenders at Target buying what looks like nurse shoes as part of their uniform, it’s not sex they’re selling … it’s the atmosphere (and lots of beer).
Well this Friday they are turning 1 and we’re all invited to their big birthday party. And one lucky reader is invited to utilize my personal invite to Blackfinn’s Anniversary invite-only party from 5 p.m.–7 p.m. with complimentary cocktails and hors d’oeuvrves. Did I mention free drinks?
But you have to be on the list ....
Just e-mail me at brittney.cason@creativeloafing.com with the subject line “GO HOKIES!” and you’re in like Flynn.
Creative Loafing's Best Of Charlotte issue comes out today, and tomorrow we honor those who won ... with an invitation-only reception at the Levine Museum of the New South from 6 p.m.- 9 p.m. and the Readers' Picks' after-party at Madison's starting at 9 p.m. that is open to the public.
The party at the Levine is invite-only, but I have an invite for you ...
I am giving away two tickets to the VIP reception so that you may sample some of the best restaurants in Charlotte, listen to the best DJs and mingle with the best of the best. The party is benefiting Hands On Charlotte as the invite requires a donation of a school supply. I went on a shopping spree for school supplies so I'll even cover your cover. Although school supplies are so cheap, you can fill an entire backpack for $20 ... just saying.
The first person to e-mail me at brittney.cason@creativeloafing.com and tell me who you voted for as the best bar in Charlotte wins.
The Graduate has graduated to The Nook. It’s now more of a dining dive than a dive bar as The Nook has upgraded the menu and ambiance — but don’t get me wrong, the eats and drinks are still dirt cheap.
They serve brunch on Saturday and Sunday, have movie nights on Sunday with free popcorn and have an all hip-hop open Microphone Mondays (tonight featuring Notik1 & Selector E.), a daily $7 wing buffet from noon til 2 p.m. and Thursday is draft night where all drafts are $3. But more importantly (to me at least) are the Friday and Saturday comedy nights featuring Charlotte Comedy Theater and Robot Johnson.
Conveniently, the bathrooms are located next to the theater in the back nook of The Nook because they’ll make you laugh so hard you might pee a little.
Meanwhile, there’s an entire pool and game room with a mini-arcade with both old school video games and a Wii. The Nook is the epitome of a neighborhood bar — in one of the best neighborhoods in Charlotte, and with a line-up of entertainment so diverse you'll only find it in PM. Since it really is in the nook, here's a picture of it so that you can actually find it ...
1308 The Plaza
704.332.8566
I got the following reader letter in response to my column in last week's CL: "Women are Crazy, Men are Worse" and I feel inclined to share as it is perhaps the most insightful and interesting thing I've ever read baked fresh from the male mind. So, thank you Matt — for reading, replying and sharing the male perspective ... you, um, want to go out for a drink? haha
Hi Brittney,We have never met. I am in no way a critic nor am I a jaded individual. I just wanted to say that I enjoy reading your column. Your commentary is well written, quite entertaining, and relevant. I admire you for sharing experiences in a somewhat unbiased manner and I applaud you for your raising awareness to issues ever-present in the singles circus. I do have some thoughts of my own that I would like to present. They are based on some prior pieces of yours and the “Woman are crazy, men are worse” bit in particular. Please know that I am in no way condemning you for your feelings and observations and do not mean any disrespect by any stretch :o) Just agreeing with you on many points, and posing questions to the population in rhetoric though it may appear that my thoughts are directed at you. While certainly thought provoking, many articles hover over the notion that men are bumbling, unaware, disconnected, mal-intentioned beings that slash through the emotions of women they encounter without either a hint of compassion or the most miniscule glint of recourse. While I find that this appears to be the consensus of most women from here to BFE, I believe this mindset to be quite problematic in that it perpetuates all the confusion and muck we all encounter. To set the tone, I certainly empathize with women out there. As you said Brittney, guys are crazy — some that is. Case in point, over coffee this morning as I was reading your latest in CL, I overheard some dude in his mid 30s, well dressed and spoken for the most part, professing that he has been “mackin on women and running bitches” when asked what he had been up to by the married couple with whom he held company. To have a response held so eager on the tip of his tongue like that is just plain tacky- “dumbfuck” was the first word gleaned from brain waves after hearing this. Moreover, one cannot help but notice all the idiots out there that exemplify their tasteless existence by the way they carry themselves and how they treat other people. The terms Douche, Tool, Asshole, Jerk are fitting in these cases and can be pinned to a good majority of the guys you will see out. Now I am in no way admonishing the acts and/or intentions of the male species as a whole; truth is, we all see guys everyday that the world would clearly be better without. For this, I find women’s diminished faith in men is well founded. Fact of the matter is that for every dipshit there is a guy with a heart of gold.
While in my Second City, Chicago, I found myself in what is known as the Viagra Triangle — a nightlife scene in which we even up a game, entitled “Father and Daughter – or- on a date?”
I couldn’t help but notice an excessive amount of silver-haired men fine dining and wining bleached blondes that made this “Puma” look like a “Cougar.” For the record, it wasn’t Father's Day.
Speaking of Cougars … if they are older women who hunt younger men, then what are these older men who hunt for kitties? If men are dogs, then females are felines … Perhaps a hyena. A dog with a cackling laugh who preys and scavenges on the young (or weak, depending on their state of mind or level of intoxication).
And meanwhile the hot little kitties were digging their paws to strike gold. Because while these young ladies are someone’s daughter, when they’re calling these Hyenas daddy or old man, it’s probably not in the same context.
Why do Cougars get so much flack anyway? They’re probably only on the prowl because their Hyena husband left them for a newer model of cat, or is having an affair with one.
Because it’s the perfect accessory to wear to the heavenly new nightclub in Charlotte … Halo. Halo is the new “it” club in the N.C. Music Factory, and in Charlotte in general on a Saturday. Although I think they should call it horns because there’s not too much angelic stuff going on in there if you know what I’m saying... it is a nightclub afterall }:-)
The grand opening of Halo last Saturday was so packed the line protruded beyond the red carpet, past The Fillmore and pretty much to my desk at the Creative Loafing office. I was wondering who was watching the EpiCentre because basically everyone you’d see at Suite on a given night, was at Halo for their Marquee Saturdays – including some of the staff, as well as the staff at Sunset Club. And I think all the pretty girls came out of the closet wearing the best dresses in their closets because it felt like a Miss North Carolina pageant. And with clubs, it’s kinda like the Field of Dreams: “if you build it, they will come.” Well if the pretty girls come so will the guys who spend money – a very simple nightlife formula.
Halo’s other ingredients include a massive dance floor with a lighting system that makes every night feel like the 4th of July with the best DJs in town including DJ R Wonz and DJ Complete, and DJ 208 will be taking the wheels at an upcoming Marquee Saturday. Free and hassle-free parking, go-go dancers shaking their rumps on the roof, three bars, a patio and lounging areas. They have a Latin night on Thursday, but their hottest night, not to mention the hottest night in Charlotte, is their Marquee Saturdays. And Halo is the perfect place to go before or after a concert at the Uptown Amphitheatre or Fillmore.
Speaking of the Marquee Saturdays, the first 10 people to e-mail brittney.cason@creativeloafing.com will get a pass for free admission with a get out of line free pass.
This is a 10-person deep prize so your chances are rather goos here, but please do realize free shit goes quickly ... please don't reply at 3 a.m. so that my Crackberry rings and wakes me up asking "Did I win?" when I'd given them away 20 e-mails ago. And sending a message to me on facebook doesn't count.
An inside source informed me that the space where Brick and Barrel has been leased and will reopen on August 20 as Town Tavern.
Stir on Independence appears to have shut down ... that, or they're just preparing for a hurricane.
I am not a judge. I don’t rock a robe or a gavel and no one stands whenever I enter or exit a room. Nor am I a judgmental person. Don’t judge – hug, is my theory. However, yesterday I sat on the panel of judges for the Bobcat’s Ladies, the Ladycats dance team auditions.
Just like it’s hard to break up with or reject someone, it’s also hard to sit there and look a girl in the eye after their number wasn’t called and having contributed to crushing her hopes and dreams ... which is precisely why I looked down and started texting after each round, which I suggested to CJ from 96.1 The Beat who was feeling as guilty as I was. I mean, who are we to judge?
There was a guy (wearing a wig) auditioning that might have just been the best dancer there … but it is the lady cats after all. After he was cut, CJ and I went and commended him for having the balls (literally) to audition.
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