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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (May 23) 

Strip show of faith causes traffic jam

Nudists for Jesus: Police responded to Providence Road last week after receiving multiple 911 calls regarding a family taking a stroll through the city. The only problem was that no one in the family had any clothes on. A woman in her 20s was allegedly causing a traffic jam by walking down the street with her mother and her toddler while holding her newborn baby, all of them bare-ass naked. Police said that when they arrived, the women told them that "the Lord told them to get naked and walk down the street." Police filed a report for child neglect with the Department of Social Services.

Good Doggie: A 17-year-old girl was lucky to be walking a big dog in east Charlotte when she was attacked last week. The girl told officers that she was minding her own business while waiting for her dog to handle his when a person ran up and grabbed her from behind. The suspect allegedly punched the girl in the stomach, which caused the dog to start barking. The suspect hadn't planned for this obvious reaction though, and took off running.

On Second Thought: A 51-year-old man going through severe depression gave himself more to be depressed about last week when he accidentally shot himself in the foot. The man told medics that he had been handling his father's gun because he was contemplating suicide. During this contemplation period, the gun slipped and shot a bullet into his right foot. The good news is that he must have changed his mind when he felt the pain, because instead of ending it all then and there he dialed 911 and asked for help.

Black Out: It's hard to say whether one 21-year-old man had a great Thursday night or a horrible one after partying at Club 935 last week. In the report, it states that the man was just hanging out and then "there was a disturbance in the club then he woke up in the hospital." The man apparently suffered a head injury but has no idea how he got it.

What a Bleach: Sometimes the only way to get past your differences is a good old-fashioned bleach fight. Police responded to one last week after a 25-year-old man and a 26-year-old woman each grabbed bottles of bleach during an argument and began throwing the liquid on each other.

Misguided Anger: A huge coward of a man was charged with assault with a deadly weapon after just beating his girlfriend up wasn't enough. After assaulting her by ripping her pants during an argument, the man got into his car and tried to run her over. Instead, he missed and crashed into her mother's house.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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