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Bizzare crime from Charlotte police files (Dec. 22) 

Put It Back

Return to Receiver A 62-year-old woman filed a police report after someone stole a package from her south Charlotte porch then had a change of heart. The woman told officers that the suspect made off with an unopened package, which contained a Pokémon book and a breast cancer awareness calendar, or the worst type of calendar focused on breasts that one could think of. The thief must have agreed, because the package was recovered two days later in a bush in front of a nearby house. It had been opened, but the unwanted contents were still inside the box.

Take It Back Another stolen item was returned last week when a shoplifter became embarrassed after being caught in the act, but the transaction did not go as peacefully as the one reported above. An employee at 7-Eleven on Eastway Drive told police she confronted a man after watching him attempt to conceal a bag of Sour Patch Kids in his waistline. He quickly returned the item to its rightful place before leaving the store, but just for god measure, he threatened to return later and hit the woman with a stick.

Food Fight (Kinda) Police responded to an assault call near the Johnston & Wales University campus and found two teenage girls playing a game of catch. According to the report, police spoke with both suspects — two women, 18 and 19 years old — who confirmed that one of the women had thrown a plastic cup at the other. The second woman "retaliated by throwing the cup back at the initial assailant." And this is what it looks like when police have to do an official write up on something that wouldn't even make the cut in an episode of Real Housewives.

The Mighty Fall On perhaps an even more anti-climactic call, police responded to a yard in southwest Charlotte after a 54-year-old man reported being assaulted by one of his neighbors. The man, who lived in the Renaissance Gardens neighborhood, told officers he sustained minor scratches to his right eye after his neighbor threw leaves into his face.

Don't Shoot A 31-year-old woman in north Charlotte was just trying to protect herself last week, believing that her home was being broken into, but ended up doing something that will surely haunt her conscience for some time. The woman told police that she saw a man trying to enter her apartment, so she opened the door and sprayed the suspect with mace, citing his unusual and aggressive behavior. As it turns out, the suspect was no threat at all, but a neighbor in the apartment complex who suffers from mental disabilities and had just run off from his caretaker. Nobody was charged in the incident, as no crime was committed.

Jackpot Someone in east Charlotte found an interesting stash in the trash last week, and it's hard to say what's more odd about the report: the fact that someone put the item in the trash or that someone went into the trash and found it. Without much detail, the report simply states that on a Thursday afternoon, a bag of MDMA ecstasy pills was found in the trash. That could have made for a good day for the average dumpster diver.

Shut It Down Employees at Christenbury Eye Center in southeast Charlotte got an unexpected break last week after a moocher unknowingly shut down their business for the afternoon. Management told police that an unknown suspect gained access to the optometrist office's water supply and began to siphon it for their own use. The theft apparently caused a sudden drop in the water pressure, which in turn activated the fire alarm and forced patients and doctors alike to evacuate the office.

Wolf! It's been said that the danger of fake news is not in the fake story itself but in the fact that it makes readers distrustful of all stories. In that sense, a Charlotte couple fell victim to fake news last week at the hands of a hacker. Police responded to the couple's northeast Charlotte home after receiving a call about a home alarm going off. It was later found that the suspect was able to set the alarm off through an app on their phone, leaving the couple to wonder any time the alarm goes off whether they should actually be alarmed.

Take the Bank A burglar in east Charlotte made sure to steal from both the adult and child during a break-in one night last week. The 42-year-old woman who lives in the home told officers that someone broke into the house just before 6 p.m. and made off with her handgun, but also grabbed a piggy bank that belongs to her son that held just $3 in change.

The Chips Are Down Potato chips were the real victim in east Charlotte last week when two men got into a knockdown, drag-out fight in the middle of a gas station. Officers responded to the scene and found that during the fight the men had knocked down a glass display case holding potato chips, doing $200 in damage to the case and merchandise.

Start 'Em Young Police responded to South Charlotte Middle School last week after the coolest student in the school was found to be in possession of an alcoholic beverage while walking around campus as if nothing was wrong.

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