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CLASH OF THE TITANS 3-D or not 3-D -- that's not even a question as far as Clash of the Titans is concerned. In the wake of Avatar's phenomenal success, studios are shamelessly slapping the 3-D format onto whatever pictures are in the can, failing to take into account that Avatar's visuals were so stunning because the picture was shot in 3-D. Clash of the Titans represents the laziest use of the process to date: I repeatedly removed my special glasses during the screening and could scarcely tell any difference between 2-D and 3-D. My advice? Avoid any theater charging more to see this in 3-D; it's not worth the extra cash. As to whether the film itself is worth seeing in any format, that's a closer call. Fans of the 1981 original won't find many improvements here: Ray Harryhausen's lovingly crafted stop-motion effects have been swapped out for the usual CGI sound and fury; the ingratiating sense of camp has been obliterated, replaced by a solemnity signaled by furrowed brows and stone faces (and not just on those who encounter Medusa); and the amusing banter between the gods (played by the likes of Laurence Olivier and Maggie Smith) is noticeably MIA. On its own terms, however, the film is passable spectacle. As Perseus, the mortal son of Zeus (Liam Neeson) who must thwart Hades (Ralph Fiennes) by defeating a string of ghastly beasts and saving both a city and its princess (Alexa Davalos), Avatar's Sam Worthington is merely OK, but his character is backed by a colorful assortment of warriors who make his journey memorable. Fiennes' portrayal of Hades may not have fallen far from the Voldemort tree, but he nevertheless cuts a menacing figure. And while most of the mythical creatures (Medusa, the Kraken) pale next to Harryhausen's achievements, the monstrous scorpions prove to be an exception, and superb FX work allows their battle with the humans to emerge as the film's action highlight. Those hoping for a Harry Hamlin sighting (he played Perseus in the original) will be left hanging, but rest assured that there's a clever cameo appearance by another vet of the '81 release. It would be cruel and unfair to viewers to reveal the exact scene here (clue: it involves a non-human character), but it's an amusing gag, and it slices through the rest of the picture's glumness with the precision of a sword crafted by Zeus himself. **1/2
THE CRAZIES After a mysterious virus is accidentally unleashed on a small Iowa town and turns many of its inhabitants insane, the military arrives to quarantine the area and contain the threat. But it soon becomes clear that, to the unaffected humans, the soldiers are as hazardous to their health as their crazed neighbors. While this remake of George Romero's 1973 film is more smoothly realized than its predecessor, it's also been streamlined for mass consumption, removing all thorny sociopolitical subtext, avoiding a cruelly ironic conclusion (arguably the high point of the '73 model), and throwing in far too many cheap scares. The use of lowbrow shock effects (i.e. when someone suddenly jumps into the frame, or a loud noise suddenly fills the soundtrack; see The Wolfman for more examples) is a real shame, since the more effective moments suggest that director Breck Eisner could have built genuine suspense had he been given the chance: One character's encounter with an electric medical saw is both hair-raising and humorous, and an attack inside a car wash is effectively staged. More scenes like these would have truly goosed the proceedings, but as it stands, The Crazies is creatively too measured for its own good. **
DATE NIGHT The third time's the charm thanks to Date Night, a likable lark that just makes the cut due largely to the appeal of stars Steve Carell and Tina Fey. After suffering through the dreadful one-two sucker punch of Did You Hear About the Morgans? and The Bounty Hunter, it's nice to cozy up to a decent comedy that also centers on a marital couple trying to stay one step ahead of murderous thugs. As Jersey suburbanites Phil and Claire Foster, Carell and Fey not only bounce off each other as accomplished comedians, but they're also completely believable as a longtime married couple who love each other but worry that all excitement has been drained from their union. On one of their patented date nights away from the kids, they opt to head to Manhattan for a swanky dinner at a posh seafood restaurant. Unfortunately, their impulsive act leads to a case of mistaken identity straight out of Alfred Hitchcock, as they find themselves running from dangerous villains while trying to clear their names and escape with all vital organs intact. Shawn Levy is a mediocre director at best (Night at the Museum, ill-advised remakes of The Pink Panther and Cheaper by the Dozen), which explains why the movie grinds to a dead halt whenever the attention shifts from the leading players' personalities to the usual bouts of gunplay and vehicular destruction. But the film clicks whenever Carell and Fey are allowed to fully engage each other, and there's also a nice contribution by Mark Wahlberg as a buff security expert whose religion apparently prohibits the donning of shirts -- this macho man's perpetual refusal to cover his bulging pecs proves to be a bright running gag. Add to this some clever pop-culture references (quips involving Cyndi Lauper and Fat Albert made me laugh long and loud), and the end result is a pleasant date night at the movies. ***
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