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JUST HANGING OUT: A female employee at a local laundromat saw a man standing in some woods across the street from her one afternoon. When the man saw her looking at him, he exposed himself and began staring at her. The woman immediately called the police. She later told them that she could identify the man if she saw him again.

DRIVE FAST, MAN!: A thief decided he'd like to steal an armful of leather coats from a department store one evening. The only hitch in his plan was that he had no getaway car. He went for it anyway and stole the coats. As for a getaway vehicle, the man simply hailed a cab. He was later apprehended in the cab and the coats were returned. He has yet to pay the fare, however.

TALK ABOUT IRONY: While a man was in jail serving time for burglary, his apartment was broken into and everything was stolen.

MUST BE THE SERVICE: A local restaurant received countless harassing phone calls one evening. The unknown caller either said nothing, or cursed the staff of the establishment. The owner of the restaurant called police to report the calls and told them no one had permission to verbally harass his staff. Except for him, of course.

BIG TALKER: A man called police to inform them he had been threatened. He stated that someone told him, "I'm the same person who broke into your truck. I followed you home last Saturday night and I know what you were wearing and doing. I'm going to get you, it's not a threat it's the real thing. I will get you when you least expect it. I will mess you up and I may not kill you but I will come close."

LUCKY NUMBERS: A crook decided that her chances of winning the lottery were pretty slim, so to strike it big she took a company check that was mailed to her for $52.20, and added a number in front of the total. After her $652.20 check was cashed, the company she worked for found out about her money-making scheme and pressed charges.

FONDA'S GYM?: A local gym was vandalized recently when an unknown person crossed out the gym's name and logo with spray paint. The graffiti artist then painted the name "JANE" across the marked out logo. All current reports of former workout video stars in the area during the time of the incident are just rumors.

SHORTCUT: A woman called police to report that she saw two cars driving through the front and rear lawns of her home. The vehicles left trenches and she was unable to obtain the license plate numbers.

ERSATZ ANTHRAX: While getting her mail one afternoon, a woman noticed a white powdery substance on and in her mailbox. She immediately called police and a task force was dispatched. When officers arrived, they noticed the powder on and in the woman's neighbors' mailboxes too. Upon closer inspection, the substance was found to be baby powder. The task force on the scene wiped the area clean.

PAINT MOR CHIKIN?: Thieves broke into a woman's house one evening and stole a painting off her wall. The painting was of a woman in a pasture holding a cow by a rope.

TOO TIRED TO ARGUE: During the course of an argument between two women, one of the ladies told the other that she had put sleeping pills in the water the other was drinking. The soon- to-be-asleep woman called police and reported the incident. She told police her friend did it because she was mad at her.

Blotter items are taken from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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