Thursday, May 17, 2007

The Buffet

Posted By on Thu, May 17, 2007 at 3:00 PM

Name of Kama Sutra Position: The Buffet

Getting into position: The man is instructed to withdraw from the woman during intercourse and strike her violently to the womb.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate position (1 as horrible, 10 as sexual nirvana)? 
I would rate it as lowly 3 and my partner and I both agree with that number.

Did you have difficulty getting into the position? 
It is not too difficult to accomplish Ñ obviously, but I have to wonder about the pleasure value of this little technique. I understand that a little S&M can wake things up in the bedroom, but IÕm thinking candle sticks and feather whips. I just cannot see much enjoyment being attained from either partner in this scenario.

Did you feel like a pretzel? Were you able to do the motions once in position?
The hardest part of this one is getting over feeling like an idiot!

Any recommendations on getting either in or out of this position?

How long did you last in the position?
Until the first couple snickers!

Enjoyment once you were in position (for the woman): No, she did not care for it, but she did find it rather funny.
Enjoyment once you were in position (for the man): I did not enjoy this one other either.

Short Answers:

Was the position comfortable? Were you able to relax?
I was physically comfortable, but my inner child was being horribly battered.
Woman: Sure, she says.

Would you consider this to be an intimate position (why or why not)?
No, I guess we can chalk this up to the era of the Kama Sutra and the need for these men to feel dominating and powerful with their gigantic Òlove sticks." A womanÕs ÒyoniÓ is designed to accommodate an 8-pound human being for several weeks. HowÕs a man supposed to violently strike such a solid piece of organic wonder without being hysterically laughed at?

Are you achy or sore after the fact?
Woman: No (she says with a laugh É drat, he says!)

What did the position feel like (both mentally and physically) in 50 words or less?
As the man positioned in the driver's seat of this Kama Sutra delight, I could not take it seriously. I couldnÕt get the thought of an Indian male with a deeply intense expression whipping his lover with his appendage as she pretended to enjoy it. ÒPretendÓ being a big keyword to this situation. Sure we have seen such a move on a D-rated porn flick É but it always seemed so overacted and fake, I never thought of incorporating it into my own style.

Did she reach orgasm? No.
Did he reach orgasm? No!

Did it take longer than usual to reach orgasm? N/A

Would you do this position again (why or why not)? 
Perhaps if you are one of those men who have about 12 to 13 inches protruding from your belt Ñ and IÕm not talking about your beer belly either. In this case, you may look pretty cool slapping your manhood playfully against your woman. Either way, this move does not seem designed for either the man or womanÕs enjoyment and would most likely certainly not lead to an orgasm. So I say down with the Buffet, there are just too many other great positions out there to be experimenting with.

Any suggestions to make the position more pleasurable?
No. This one is pretty much hopeless unless youÕre packing like John Holmes!


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