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Friday, March 7, 2008
Random Dumb Sh*t Specialized jobs of the future
Posted By John Grooms on Fri, Mar 7, 2008 at 1:17 PM
I learned today that there’s almost no limit to what some people will pay other folks to do, especially if it keeps them from having to do something boring. Yes, the field of specialized jobs has reached new heights of absurdity. Accompanying a thrilling story about a new controversy related to houses’ square footage is a photo of one Tracy Briggs, measuring a house. You see, Ms. Briggs operates an actual business called The Square Footage Source. Imagine having that job. “What do you do?” “Oh, I measure houses and then figure out the square footage.” “Oh.”
What’s next? How far will job specialization go? Here are some ideas for exciting new professions in which you could be paid big bucks to do something others could easily do themselves.
• Yard Walker: These dedicated professionals walk around a prospective homebuyer’s new yard before the sale is finalized in order to determine if there are any dangerous holes in the ground. If any holes are found, of course, the client will need to call a licensed Yard Hole Filler.
• WiFi Detectives: Another homebuyer service, the WFD’s roam around the environs of a home with special equipment to find out if there are any neighbors with a wireless connection the buyer can mooch off of for free.
But why limit yourself to the homebuyers’ market, especially these days? Maybe you’d like one of these specialized jobs instead:
• Mileage Masters: They fill up a client’s car with gas and then drive it around in order to figure out how many miles per gallon the car gets. In town and highway mileage tests performed separately, with separate invoices sent for each.
• Shoe Size Czars: These skilled technicians measure clients’ feet in order to determine their precise shoe size. Very helpful if you’re planning to buy shoes anytime soon. House calls extra.
• Driveway Hoops Enablers: DHE’s make sure clients are ready to host a session of driveway basketball. They measure the height of the basket, move garbage containers and dog bones out of the way, meticulously check the ball’s air pressure, and carefully mark the official spot for a foul line.
Hope this gives you some good career ideas. Please let us know if you think of any others.
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