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Friday, March 20, 2009
Boomer with Attitude / News Stolen Italian statue update!
Posted By John Grooms on Fri, Mar 20, 2009 at 11:08 AM
We have learned of a huge new development in the Case of the Stolen Italian Statue.
The art world was surprised by yesterday's revelation that a small wooden statue, stolen from a church in Naples over 20 years ago, had shown up in a couple's home in Charlotte. Today's news, though, will likely bowl over art lovers everywhere.
This morning, Chief of Police Rodney Monroe led a SWAT team of officers onto the grounds of a large business in Ballantyne, and claimed possession of what is believed to be the original statue of David by Michelangelo. "We heard about it from the Italian embassy yesterday," said Chief Monroe. "Their government hadn't revealed that Michelangelo's David was missing, but the embassy told us it was stolen a few years ago and was replaced right away by a fake, to avoid embarrassing the government. How in the hell it wound up on the plaza outside a major development company's offices in Charlotte is still a mystery."
When asked why no one had suspected that the 17-feet-tall statue was the original, Monroe replied, "I guess we thought it was just more pretentious 'new money' folks trying to be pseudo-cultural. Shit happens all the time down in Ballantyne, you know that as well as I do."
Phone calls to the business' owner and the Italian embassy were not returned.
(For all the ultra-literal folks out there, the following story is SATIRE. OK?)
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