Yesterday, Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Texas), chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, came up with a unique reason for opposing same-sex marriage. During his committee’s hearings on Obama’s decision not to enforce the Defense of Marriage Act because he finds it unconstitutional, Smith said that same-sex marriage would have been opposed by the Founding Fathers.

One imagines Smith’s statement is true, considering that the FF’s wrote the Constitution in the late 18^th century, but it’s the first time this writer has heard of a lawmaker claiming the FF’s as guides to social policy. If Smith and his GOP colleagues want to use the Founding Fathers’ views as an infallible guide, Congress would also have to take away women’s right to vote; take away the right to vote of anyone under the age of 21 or anyone who isn’t a land owner; and return African Americans to a state of slavery. Other possible changes could include a ban on all vehicles powered by internal combustion engines; outlawing radio, telegrams and television; a ban on electricity, and, possibly, a ban on lunatic rednecks making public policy. Seriously, do people like Smith even bother to think before they open their mouths to speak?

• Rep. Lamar Smith of Texas

Oh boy — another consultant study!! The Charlotte Regional Visitors Authority, in response to public uproar about Tim Newman, CEO of CRVA, and his history of “lapses of judgment,” did what Charlotte public bigwigs seem to always do when they’re backs are to the wall: They're hiring a consultant to write a report. Yeah, I know; I’m laughing, too. Oh, and they won’t renew Newman’s contract until they see that report, by golly! They mean business!

It’s the tried and true, Uptown Charlotte stalling tactic. Something going wrong at your cushy, public service job? Hire a consultant to write a report! Someone embezzled from a government program? Hire a consultant to write a report! Everyone except you and your intimidated bosses thinks you should be fired? Hire a consultant to write a report! Can’t figure out which is your butt and which is a hole in the ground? Hire a consultant to write a report! And of course, now: You’re a board of directors that doesn’t want to take responsibility for letting a CEO repeatedly break your organization’s rules? Hire a consultant to write a report! It’ll take the pressure off temporarily, and in the meantime, maybe Newman will quit and save us the embarrassment.

If that last item is really on the CRVA board’s unspoken agenda, the board’s members better think again. Newman has always been a brazen opportunist — you don’t go from being the gooberish honcho of the Charlotte Knights to the gooberish-but-with-nicer-clothes, $300K+ salaried, employee-shtupping CEO of the CRVA without baring the teeth of your feral ambition for all to see. Unless he has some other sweet deal lined up, it’s highly doubtful Newman will leave on his own.

So once again, the minority of area citizens who give a rip about these kinds of things are met with, not a stone wall, but Charlotte’s famous “moving stone wall” — hiring a consultant to gain some time; er, I mean, to write a report. One more time, very legitimate complaints are evaded by those whose position mandates that they be accountable. “Man up” is an obnoxious term, but a fitting one in this case, so I’ll say it: The CRVA board needs to man up and do its job without hiding behind the skirts of an upcoming consultant’s report.

• Still hanging on: CRVA's Tim Newman

Remember when Tea Partiers denied over and over that their group contained an inordinate number of racists? And then still denied it, even after a gazillion photos of racist Tea Party rally signs were revealed by the press? Well, that “issue” — as if there was much doubt left about that crowd’s feelings — is back with a vengeance. This time, it’s in Orange County, Calif., where our new friend Marilyn Davenport, a Tea Party activist and member of the Orange County GOP’s central committee, is in trouble.

Last week, Davenport sent out a racist e-mail to friends (one of whom was offended enough to forward it to the press), showing Pres. Obama’s face Photo-shopped onto the body of a baby chimpanzee. The caption for the picture reads, "Now you know why no birth certificate."

Scott Baugh, the chairman of the Orange County GOP, is calling for Davenport’s resignation and wants to launch an ethics investigation. The former head of the California GOP, Michael Schroeder, also called for her resignation, pointing out that Davenport has shown her racism before while defending the actions of two of her far-right cohorts. First, when Obama was inaugurated, Davenport came to the defense of Los Alamitos Mayor Dean Grose, who sent out an e-mail portraying a watermelon patch on the White House lawn.

Later, Davenport defended Newport, Calif., councilman Richard Nichols when he resisted installing grassy areas at a beach because "with grass we usually get Mexicans coming in there early in the morning and they claim it as theirs, and it becomes their personal, private grounds all day." Davenport said this morning that she has no intention of resigning. Stay tuned.