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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Live Reviews / QC After Dark Redneck Scavenger Hunt at Speed Street

Posted By on Tue, May 27, 2008 at 2:50 PM

Speed Street, for lack of better terms, is interesting. They set up a bunch of turkey leg and fried food stands up in Uptown and have one big party that includes a varied roster concerts ranging from country to R&B to rock, NASCAR driver appearances and free shit. Kind of like a county fair.

speed-street-suite-014.jpg

We went to see Gary Allen down on one side of Uptown and in turn decided to have a redneck scavenger hunt.

We were keeping an eye out for:

• Cars with a sticker of the caricature of Calvin pissing on something

• An American Flag being worn in any form of unpatriotic fashion

• Mullets of all shapes and sizes

• An underage child with their parent smoking

• Jam shorts (I didn’t even know what those were but everyone insisted we include them on the list)

• Someone pushing a shopping cart through uptown hording all kinds of free shit

My roommate saw a pregnant woman drinking a beer (stupid skank biscuit).

We were even able to add a few things to the list as we went on, such as people eating “Cheesecake on a stick.”

Or someone drinking Sparks.....which is my favorite drink. It’s like an organic 40 with Ginseng and Taurine in malt liquor. It turns my tongue orange and my friends swear it taste like liquid aspirin, but I love that stuff. And then they added a girl wearing men’s size 11 flip-flops in a dress.

Um, that was me. I had a wardrobe malfunction with my cowboy boots and they had to be ripped off. Either my friends were picking on me… or I’m a redneck. I am from the boondocks on Virginia after all.

Meanwhile, we got all the free samples of Swedish Fish, Tylenol Rapid Release gels, Juicy Fruits and Tums we’ll ever need...I’m set for life.

As for the concert, it was so crowded and we were hard of hearing. As in the sound quality sucked. So, we opted to migrate to the other side of Uptown to check out Jagged Edge. The country faded into R&B and NASCAR paraphernalia turned into more of blinking plastic grills as souvenirs.

And then our redneck scavenger hunt came to a grinding halt.

But I will give it to the producers of NASCAR crap, Dale Jr. and Kasey Kahne just switched sponsorships and all the fans have already decorated themselves accordingly.

When I saw a chick wearing a trashy confederate flag tube top walking around the Jagged Edge concert I almost feared for her life, but then I realized no one was saying anything to her. Have we embraced diversity? Everyone was just having a good time, and co-existing... just like we should be. One crowd was doing their thing, and another crowd was doing theirs.

With that said, I really like what I found on my scavenger hunt...

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