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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Opinion / Jason Younger / News It's Miss Jackson if you're nasty...

Posted By on Wed, Feb 3, 2010 at 12:46 PM

If history has taught us anything, it’s that one small event can change the world. Especially if that one small event involves Michael Jackson’s little sister’s boob. Take a trip down memory lane with me if you will...

In 2001, the NFL made the interesting decision to let MTV “produce” the Super Bowl halftime show. In what can now be referred to as “Lip Synch Fest ’01” the show consisted of a smattering of pop, hip-hop and rock with Aerosmith, Brittney Spears, ‘N Sync and Nelly. Apparently Milli Vanilli had a prior engagement – how can you NOT include them when they mastered the art of the lip synch? I say this is a travesty even now.

This trend would continue for a total of three Super Bowls (the one exception being in 2002 when U2 did a tribute to the victims of 9/11) culminating in the now infamous “Wardrobe Malfunction” in 2004. You KNEW with MTV producing these things that something was bound to happen. You know the rest of the story. Miss Jackson shows the world her throwing star and MTV is left to “produce” crappy award shows on their own network.

What was once a 20-minute cluster that gave you a chance to go dispose of your used beer and get some more cheese dip has now become a chance to see living legends perform their hits from the comfort of your own home. Look at the lineup the NFL has churned out since Nipple-Gate ’04:

’05 – Paul McCartney

’06 – Rolling Stones

’07 – Prince

’08 – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

’09 – Bruce! Springsteen & the E Street Band

And, of course, for this year’s festivities – The Who. That’s a virtual murderer’s row of the music business people. Instead of spending a paycheck to see one of these legends in concert (and some don’t even tour anymore), you can watch them AND the biggest game/social event of the year at the same time!

Can you imagine what we would be facing if Janet hadn’t saved us? You know it would be something like this:

The Super Bowl halftime show!! Featuring performances by Lady Ga(g) Ga(g), Katy Perry, Beyonce and Taylor Swift. With very special guests: The cast of Jersey Shore (who will be fist pumping in the background)!! Don’t miss it! Brought to you by Facebook and Boost Mobile.

Moral of the story? It just takes one...boob, that is... my friends. And it helps if said boob is attached to a famous person.

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