It appears the end is near my friends. That’s the only explanation I can think of anyway. And it looks like 2010 is the year it’s all gonna go down. We are not even finished with February and already the signs are obvious. Don’t believe me? Here is a look at some of the “happenings” that have already occurred. If all this can happen in recent weeks, the future of mankind is all downhill from here:

* Sebastian Bach, lead singer of 80’s metal band Skid Row, has gone to fat camp. And is allowing VH1 to film it and show it to the world. Oh, and he’s on the show with the likes of Kevin Federline and Bobby Brown.

* Ozzy Osbourne wrote a book.

* The Who get chosen to do the Super Bowl halftime show in front of the largest audience in TV history. They proceed to lay the biggest egg since Jessica Simpson stepped out in her “big-girl” pants.

* Legendary producer Quincy Jones decides to remake "We Are the World" to support Haiti relief, adding "We Are the World" to the top of the list of songs that should never be remade because they sucked so bad the first time around. I know it’s for charity, but there are better ways to give than supporting bad music.

* Jane’s Addiction, Spice Girls, Oasis (again – minus Noel Gallagher), Aerosmith (minus Steven Tyler), Journey (with their reality show winning lead singer) are all staging “comebacks”. In other news, cotton ball sales are through the roof.

* Jeff Bridges stars in the movie Crazy Heart, about a down on his luck, washed up singer. The Oscar nominated actor, when asked to describe his character, said that if he were real, the character would have been the fifth Highwayman with Willie, Wayland, Johnny and Mr. Kristofferson. Any time you put the words Jeff Bridges and Johnny Cash in the same sentence, it can’t be good.

* A Jonas brother got married. Hopefully her name starts with Yoko and ends with Ono.

If history has taught us anything, it’s that one small event can change the world. Especially if that one small event involves Michael Jackson’s little sister’s boob. Take a trip down memory lane with me if you will...

In 2001, the NFL made the interesting decision to let MTV “produce” the Super Bowl halftime show. In what can now be referred to as “Lip Synch Fest ’01” the show consisted of a smattering of pop, hip-hop and rock with Aerosmith, Brittney Spears, ‘N Sync and Nelly. Apparently Milli Vanilli had a prior engagement – how can you NOT include them when they mastered the art of the lip synch? I say this is a travesty even now.

This trend would continue for a total of three Super Bowls (the one exception being in 2002 when U2 did a tribute to the victims of 9/11) culminating in the now infamous “Wardrobe Malfunction” in 2004. You KNEW with MTV producing these things that something was bound to happen. You know the rest of the story. Miss Jackson shows the world her throwing star and MTV is left to “produce” crappy award shows on their own network.

Calling all area Charlotte bar owners and live music operators – in case you haven’t heard there appears to be a recession upon us. You may have noticed this in your establishments on some nights (see: Sunday – Thursday). You may be wondering how to improve this situation, and actually make some money? I have the answer my friends:

Get a better-than-average, versatile cover band. Trust me. It’s money in the bank. Guaranteed. Want proof?

Hong Kong is basically the New York City of Asia. There are roughly a bajillion bars with live music in that city (trust me, I’ve been there and counted them myself). And you wanna know what type of band is playing in every single one of those bars 7 nights a week? That’s right – the aforementioned cover band.

Imagine this if you will. It’s Sunday night - the worst night of the week in terms of people out drinking (unless it’s Super Bowl Sunday). Your establishment is a quarter full (MAYBE). Wouldn’t you love to have a packed house, rockin’ out, spendin’ wads of cash? That is exactly what the scene looks like in Hong Kong on any given night.

If you ever find yourself in mainland China and fully jetlagged (you know, wide awake at 3 a.m.), there’s a fun game you can play. It’s called – “What Websites have the Chinese Government Censored?” It’s an interesting game. Especially when you see just how much of the World Wide Web isn’t allowed for viewing in one of the largest countries in the world that holds north of one billion of the planet’s people.

Here’s a quick list I found of forbidden sites:

Facebook (all social network sites for that matter: MySpace, Twitter, you get the idea)

YouTube – no funny home videos of people doin’ stupid stuff!?!?

Most of CNN (and any other US based news outlet)

Most of ESPN – this is where I fell apart really

Dear Santa,

It’s me again. And yes, I have been a good, well, ok boy this year. I know next week is Christmas so I wanted to get my list to you in time because I think this year it’s gonna take some work on your part to get all this done. But you’re the guy that makes things happen this time of the year, right? And look at this way, the below list might be tough, but it’s not just for me – this is for the good of all man (and woman) kind! I’m not asking for a 50” flat screen or a Wii (although if you have a few extras, I’d be happy to help lighten your load).

We can both agree the music world needs some help, so below is my list of things you can do to save the day. You can make 2010 the comeback year for music! You’ll be a hero! I even put them in order of importance with the least important first and the most important last – trying to make it easy on you big guy. So without further ado:

10. Auto-tune – Can we officially kill this please? I know Jay-Z already tried, but I figure with your clout this could be a done deal. Sorry, T-Pain.

9. Pink – woman? Or post-op tranny? Can we please get a “once and for all” official ruling on this? Teenage boys across the globe are worried – should they think she’s hot? Is it wrong to think she’s hot? Is she a woman or is this the final scene of The Crying Game all over again? For the sake of the kids, man!

On a recent business trip to Monterrey, Mexico, I was asking my counterpart Jose’ what the music scene looks like south of the border, where the tacos are cheap, and the Tecate is cheaper.

“There are two types of people in Mexico” he explained, “ones who like U.S. music, and ones who like Nortena. No one likes both.”

What’s Nortena music you ask?

“Nortena is like tex-mex + country + lots of trumpets and a lot of peachy, high pitched voices. People love high pitched voices.”

Since the city is only a couple of hours from the U.S. border, there are lots of American radio stations that can be picked up, hence the U.S. type.

Once you enter the main part of the city, it’s easy to see that music is a BIG deal in Monterrey. There are billboards everywhere for various artists and groups alike. This is because Monterrey has an enormous arena in the middle of downtown that averages two to three concerts per week. Everything from local bands to big stars in Mexico to Madonna.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to my high school reunion. I have no desire to tell you how old I am so we’ll refer to it as the __th year reunion. If you’ve read many of my weekly posts, you know I occasionally (read: every week) like to rail on the state of pop music and zing the likes of Lady Ga(g) Ga(g), Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers.

I like to think that I know good music when I hear it, and of course make fun of bad music because it’s fun. Fast forward to high school reunion ’09 or as I like to call it – “The Day Bad Music Reigned Supreme”. Let’s just say that when the dj fires up “Pony” by Ginuwine, the night is heading downhill quickly.

What does this mean? We all like bad music at some point in our lives. And we all like to think the songs we heard and listened to over and over and over again back in high school were great and meaningful and world changing. I mean “Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm” by Crash Test Dummies should be the song they play in the background for all those starving kid commercials right? It’s a DEEP song!! Maybe not.

Merry Christmas! It’s that time of year – you know Santa, gifts, family and all that. Christmas lights, movies, and of course – music. So, enjoy your holiday. It’s hard to believe Christmas is already here again. So soon!

Wait…..what’s that you say? It’s not Christmas yet? It’s not even December?!?! Well, it’s at least after Thanksgiving then right? No…….well, I’m confused. I figured it HAD to be close to the big day. Why? Because there’s been Christmas music on the radio for almost 2 WEEKS now!

When did the day after Halloween become the start of the holiday season? The day after Halloween, I found no less than THREE radio stations devoted to playing Christmas music 24/7! Did we all forget this little holiday called Thanksgiving? It’s just now Veteran’s Day for crying out loud. Are there really enough people out there who want to hear 2 full months of The Chipmunks sing “The Christmas Song”? Really, that’s what we need right now? I am convinced that I know the culprit behind this “start the Christmas season early” campaign. Wal-Mart. Gotta be.