Bang Town

Mingling in the Queen City Recipe for Disaster

Posted By Shameika René on Mon, Jul 20, 2009 at 12:03 PM

We all love a good summer drink right? Sometimes, just because it has a smooth taste going down, and makes us feel good doesn't mean that it's the best thing for us.

Here's a ‘lil recipe that I want to share:

• Get a glass

• Mix in about 5 oz of Bitchassness (refer to mofochronicles for the definition)

• 2 oz of red-koolaid: (that's the cherry flavor for you uppity folk)

• A half teaspoon of ignate (oh let me clarify again, that's the same as ignorance times five)

• About 2/3 oz of your favorite liquor

• A dash of WTF

• Add ice...and stir..

Voila! There you have it, a tall refreshing glass of what I like to call punk-naide!

I'm convinced this is what people have been sipping on as their beverage of choice this summer.

What makes me come up with this fabulous assumption?

Well let's see here:

It has to be the punk-naide that makes folks do some of the dumbest shit ever.

For example, some folks have the audacity to try to holla at people, find out they are married and then don't give a damn and proceed to pursue them, eventually ending up in a jump-off situation.

(I just really refuse right now to go into a full blown explanation of what a jump-off is, so if you don't know, my best advice is to watch the news, there's plenty of examples.)

I have a friend who told me about how in just one night, he had several women approach him, ask him if he's married, he said yes, and every last one of them said they didn’t care. They just wanted to be the jump-off (ok so I’m paraphrasing). Thank goodness he's that rare find called a "good catch,” and told them heffas to kick rocks.

Or how about that chick that has grandeur illusions that if you become the jump-off then you can eventually make wifey status.

What in the hot hell?! Put that damn cup down and back away slowly!

Can you say get some damn self-esteem and find a man that's single?

I wasn't going to go there — but did we not learn anything from Steve McNair?

Granted, it's a two way street, but come on, married folks wouldn't cheat if they didn't have anyone to cheat with. They would be satisfied with the two hands God gave them and if that don't do it, then the adult store might just have what they need.

I digress.

The damn grass ain't always greener. Haven't you heard of the 80/20 Rule? If not, go rent Why Did I Get Married.

Which brings me to the next batch of mofos that have been sipping on that punk-naide syzurp.

It's not just married folks acting a donkey, it's the people that are in committed long term relationships, boo'd up, engaged, whatever you want to call it.

How many of us have gotten a phone call, text message, email or whatever from someone that you ain't thought about in years and they hit you up wanting to place you in that jump-off spot?

Again, reference the Steve McNair case one more time if you still just don't get it.

How about those infamous "blocked hang-up calls?”

You know what I'm talking bout. The insecure mofo that goes through their significant other's phone to see who they have been texting, or chatting it up. They see a repetitive number, call it (blocking their number, of course) then hang up when the other person answers or they sit there breathing listening to see how many damn times they'll say hello.

Yep, just another fine example of fools sipping on that punk-naide.

Or better yet let's address the grown ass men that are over the age of 28 but still think it's cute to put their boys first and run the streets 24/7. Damn the wife, or boo piece, and/or the kids.

Really. Hmm. Partying is so much more important. Who knew?

I mean, I could be completely out of line here, but I thought at some point you just have to grow up and accept some responsibility for your actions.

Clearly I could go on and on for days, but these are just the cream of the crop that seem to have a steady supply of punk-naide in their refrigerator.

Lesson Learned: Instead of pouring out a ‘lil for the dead and gone, dump that entire damn cup of punk-naide out. Refill that glass with some good ole purifying water. That should at least clean up the majority of the punk ass behavior that continues to rear its ugly head. The bonus is, water hydrates the skin and its better for your health.

Tags: cheating, Mingling in the Queen City, Steve McNair, jump-off, being the other woman

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Hard News Love and a bullet

Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Mon, Jul 20, 2009 at 9:36 AM

Often we talk about women who can't leave their abusers. We talk about how silly she is for returning to the man who beats the hell out of her on a regular basis. But what about the man who can't stop loving the crazy bi -- woman who shot him in the chest.

When I saw this story on the Charlotte Observer's web site, I shook my head and then started reading.

Thought number one was, if this was a woman who stayed with the man who shot her in the chest, the outcry for his head would be so loud we couldn't hear ourselves think.

Lamount Friend says he can't stop loving Kristel Rider even after the .38-caliber slug from her revolver nearly blew a hole through his heart.

Now the relationship that almost cost Friend his life could also send him back to prison, the very place the couple's affair began.

"It's love, stupid love," Friend said during an interview last week, his finger brushing the scar the bullet left as it exited his sternum. "I forgave her. ... I've never felt this way about a female before, not even my babies' mother."

Thought number two, she must suck an amazing dick. What else would keep this fool locked up in love with a woman who nearly killed him?

Friend spent 13 days in a hospital recovering from the gun shot. Friend said he told Johnson County Sheriff's deputies he didn't want to press charges against Rider.

But on May 1, Rider filed a domestic violence protective order against Friend.

Friend admits he later violated the order to stay away from Rider when she came to his grandmother's house. Friend says he rode with Rider back to her house in Smithfield.

The couple soon reconciled and took a vacation to Virginia Beach, he said. A reporter saw the two together at Rider's house on May 14.

Thought number three, this idiot is ready to risk going to jail for the woman who shot him? There isn't that much love in the world.

Johnston County Sherriff's deputies arrested Friend on charges of violating the restraining order and assault on a female, both misdemeanors. According to the arrest warrant, Rider told a county magistrate that Friend came to her house on June 17 and assaulted her by shoving her and putting his hands around her throat.

Friend, who says that never happened, is scheduled to appear in court today and could face a maximum sentence of 300 days because of an extensive criminal history that includes more than 30 past convictions for transgressions such as robbery, illegal firearms possession and cocaine trafficking.

The forbidden romance began behind bars, while Friend was serving a five-month stretch for assault on a female and carrying a concealed weapon.

Rider counseled the inmate on how to control his anger and taught him techniques for de-escalating a confrontation before it led to physical violence. Soon, he says, their relationship grew into more than that of patient and therapist.

He sent her love letters through the prison's internal mail. Friend said that Rider would come to his cell door and whisper that she liked what he wrote.

Final thought, when will these fools end up on the Jerry Springer Show?

Tags: Hard News, love and a bullet, shooting lover, man loves woman who shot him

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Today’s Top(less) 5 Today's Top(less) 5: Monday

Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Mon, Jul 20, 2009 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, July 20, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

• Bark at The Moon night.

• Live music at The Diversity Den.

• Learn the Flamenco.

• Steak and Shrimp at The Men's Club.

• Monster Karaoke at Dixie's.

Tags: Today’s Top(less) 5, Today's top(less) 5

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He said/She said Break up with the jewelry

Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Fri, Jul 17, 2009 at 10:21 AM

You have a ring that makes you cry every time you look at it. Or you have a necklace that your ex gave you two days before you found out he was fucking his coworker.

Instead of letting these things sit in your jewelry box collecting dust, sell that shit.

One site where you can sell the crap he gave you is Ex Boyfriend Jewelry.

On this site, sellers tell you the story of the item, like this one:

The Scoop:

Well, my EX-fiance broke up with me for a 16 year old, which he was 22. A little illegal! Then while him and I were going to get back together he started dating someone 2 years younger than me and got engaged to her a month after dating her!

Jewelry Description:

White Gold band, 3-stones diamond approximately 1/2 carat

Jewelry Rating:

Beautiful ring, small, but elegant.

And then there is Out Of Your Life. You can go online or call their toll-free number and request a "break up box."

This site has a jazzy commercial that plays on WE, Oxygen and the Hallmark Channel all the time. But your ex couldn't have been a cheap bastard, because underneath their sellable items list are names like:

Bulgari, Cartier, Charles Krypell, David Yurmanand Doris Panos.

So, that $3.99 watch from Target or Wal Mart would be worth selling to Out Of Your Life.

And that engagement ring? Here's what the site says about diamonds:

OutOfYourLife.com^SM buys diamonds of all shapes and sizes, preferably one-half carat or larger, and is able to offer high prices thanks to a long-standing relationship with one of the world's largest diamond buyers.

Here's a word of caution about Out Of Your Life, their Facebook page is filled with complaints.

One woman said this:

I sent in a yellow diamond ring that I bought DISCOUNTED for $7000 and got 286 dollars from Out of Your Life!!! This organization is horrible, sell your jewelry locally or directly to a consumer. I got my jewelry back and will never use this joke of a company again.

If these sites don't suit your taste, there is always the old standby of the pawn shop.

Tags: He said/She said, break up with the jewelry, Out of Your Life.com, Ex boyfriend jewelry.com

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Hard News Sex news roundup: Friday

Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Fri, Jul 17, 2009 at 9:52 AM

Here's a look at the sex headlines floating around the Internet.

STD rates up in boys.

Male sex chromosome on the way out.

Really? Denise Richards admits to hotel flings.

Twin TV actors face kiddie porn charge.

12 things to never do during sex.

Hotel worker watched couple have sex.

Tags: Hard News, Sex news roundup

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Today’s Top(less) 5 / Meet Market Today's Top(less) 5: Friday

Posted By Cheris Hodges on Fri, Jul 17, 2009 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, July 17, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

• Friday night howl.

• Get the party started at breakfast at The Men's Club.

• PJs and Tini reggae party.

• Charlotte's Happiest Happy Hour at The Uptown Cabaret.

• Bikers and Babes at The Estate.

Tags: Today’s Top(less) 5, Meet Market, Today's top(less) 5

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Meet Market / Pep in your step / Cheap Date Take a trip to Argentina, in Concord

Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Thu, Jul 16, 2009 at 10:49 AM

The Diversity Den, located at 160 Concord Commons Drive, wants you to dance the Argentine Tango.

Every Tuesday night, dancers and wanna be dancers come together and learn the tango from instructor Greg Gershowitz.

So, what is the Argentine Tango?

Well, it's not hiking the Appalachian Trail -- Mark Sanford.

It's more of a social dance than the regular tango.

According to Wikipedia:

Argentine tango is danced in an embrace that can vary from very open, in which leader and follower connect at arms length, to very closed, in which the connection is chest-to-chest, or anywhere in between. Close embrace is often associated with the more traditional styles, while open embrace leaves room for many of the embellishments and figures that are associated with tango nuevo.

And that makes this dance sexy and great way to feel up on your partner without getting slapped. At the Diversity Den, you don't need a dance partner, so if you're looking for a bit of a summer romance, here's your chance to meet someone new.

And if you and your mate are tired of the same old dates -- you know, dinner, movie and bedroom -- then here's something new and exciting to try.

Tags: Meet Market, Pep in your step, date ideas, Cheap Date, Argentine Tango, dancing

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Today's Top(less) 5: Thursday

Posted By Mustang Sally, Mayor of Bang Town on Thu, Jul 16, 2009 at 6:30 AM

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, July 16, 2009 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.