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Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (Dec. 1) 

Book burning


Fuel the Fire Police followed up on a call from the Charlotte Fire Department last week after a fire in a west Charlotte home was found to be arson. After fire crews put out the flames, they found that someone had lit up a pile of phone books for warmth in the house's living room, doing $300 in damage. The incident gave phone book companies a reason to celebrate, as they were happy to hear that their product could still be used for something.

I Love Lamp Police responded to a Goodwill store on Wilkinson Boulevard after someone thought if they volunteered for a little work there they could have anything they wanted. An employee at the store told police that someone showed up with another person one afternoon to help them load a heavy piece of furniture onto the dock where you can put donations. When the helper finished, they began to peruse the rest of the dock to see what else was being donated that day. They liked what they saw apparently, and ended up leaving with a lamp, a pitcher and a dress.

Need a Raise A woman was sitting at the reception desk at her job last week, probably hoping for something to happen while she waited for the four-day weekend to start, when something very unfortunate happened. The woman told police that she looked up at the glass doors at the front of her company's business and noticed a man standing on the other side masturbating. The man apparently didn't want to come in, though, and ran off at the sight of the victim picking up her phone.

Not Your Storage Unit A 23-year-old woman returned to her old apartment last week to find that her former roommate wasn't taking her shit, literally. The woman said she moved out in late October and returned a month later to pick up a few things she had left behind, and was informed that her stuff was no longer there. The woman told officers that her former roommate told her they had simply thrown her laptop, printer, mixer, kitchen supplies, bedframe, night stand and hookah into the dumpster after she had moved. Since she waited a month, she couldn't recover them from the dumpster.

Get That Cream Management at Phat Burrito in South End found out that one of their employees was stealing from them recently, despite their every effort to create alibis through their work schedule. On a Friday, an employee noticed that a bunch of money was missing from the register. While discussing with management, this employee stated that one of their coworkers had been there that day, despite it being their day off. On Sunday, the coworker came back. on their vacay day again, but this time the other folks who were actually working hard for their money watched them closely. They witnessed the freeloader go into the cash register and take money out shortly before leaving. Altogether, the suspect is believed to have stolen $2,284.

Family Matters A young girl who attends McClintock Middle School may have led her brother back into trouble last week, but she'll surely be remembered for the rest of her school career as someone who is not to be messed with. According to the report, the girl's brother escorted her to the bus stop one day last week to prevent any confrontation that was apparently possible between his sister and other students. So far, sounds like a good brother. However, the man brought a gun and openly displayed it to those at the bus stop as a way to intimidate them. Since he was a grown man at a verified CMS bus stop in attendance with young students gathered there for school-related reasons and, oh yeah, a convicted felon, he's now looking at some serious charges.

Bowled Over A thief in the night struck at an apartment complex in South End last night and all they were able to gain was two big balls. It must've been a hard getaway, because the only things listed as stolen in the incident was a bowling bag holding two bowling shoes and two balls. That's going to make for a tough walk to 10 Park Lanes.

Unloaded Employees of tow truck companies deal with angry assholes on a normal basis, so scaring them can be tough. One woman who works at an east Charlotte tow company wasn't having it last week when someone tried to intimidate her at her work. The woman later told police that a person looking for their car simply came into the office and placed an empty gun holster on the desk before asking if his car was there. The 35-year-old woman called police, so now the man has assault by intimidation charges to go with his tow fees.

Scams A 35-year-old woman should have seen the red flags last week as soon as the words "iTunes gift cards" became involved with a deal for an apartment that she had found for rent online. The apartment "leasee" told the woman to buy $500 worth of iTunes cards and send them images of the front and back. They then cut off contact and, surprise, the balance on the cards disappeared. Another woman in Dilworth gave $5,000 to someone she met in a coffee house in August who promised to invest in a house and flip it, then give her a large return. Another surprise: the flipper has now cut off all contact.

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