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The Blotter: Antacid Bandit 

Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (June 1-6)


Gassed Up A man was apparently in an emergency situation last week when he shoplifted from a Harris Teeter in Dilworth. Employees there reported that the suspect walked in and concealed $721 worth of antacid in his clothes before leaving the store with his take.

Something Fishy Employees at Green Village Children's Academy in south Charlotte were shocked to see that someone damaged their fish tank last week, then only did more damage by trying to save the fish. According to the report, the suspect broke the fish tank, then placed the fish in the sink, presumably in order to keep them alive while the water poured out of the tank. The problem with that strategy, however, was that the suspect also put all the pebbles from the tank into the sink, reportedly doing damage to the drains.

Chew Toy A man in Uptown chose the worst possible landing spot for his drone last week, then was surprised that it wasn't there when he came to claim it. The man told police he was flying his drone near 7th Street when he decided to land it in a dog park at a nearby apartment complex. When he went to the dog park, the $1,500 drone was no longer there, apparently having been picked up by either a lucky opportunist or (more likely) a curious pup. The man checked with the leasing office at the apartment complex and nobody had turned the drone in, chewed up or otherwise.

Sky High Aggressive airline employees have been in the news lately thanks to a recent incident in which a man was dragged off a flight in Chicago, but sometimes those folks can be on the other side of the aggression. A 40-year-old woman working for American Airlines was attacked last week after trying to keep an intoxicated passenger off her plane. The ticket agent told police that after she told the suspect that she was clearly too intoxicated to board her flight, the woman lunged at her, scratching her right hand, slapping her on the left cheek and shoving her out of the way. The woman never did get out of Charlotte, as she was booked for assault and taken to jail instead.

Family Matters A visit from the relatives ended with a call to the police last week in the University area, as a 52-year-old woman decided that inviting family over is just not worth it sometimes. The woman told police that she got into an argument with some family members that were visiting form out of town, and that things escalated to the point where she was suddenly getting assaulted by all three relatives. She told police that the suspects fled when she called 911, and we're assuming she won't be having them back any time soon.

Moralists A 21-year-old woman filed a police report last week after two people who apparently hate scary movies broke into her home. The woman reported that the two suspects stole a coin jar, a $200 Visa gift card and $500 worth of shoes. In a more mysterious move, however, the suspects also damaged some of her DVDs before leaving the north Charlotte apartment. According to the report, the suspects smashed up four DVDs titled Chaos, Insidious, Immortals and The Purge.

Stocked Up A woman was shocked to find that her recently deceased aunt was either a gun enthusiast or a doomsday prepper while she cleaned up her former home the other day. The woman went to the police station and told police that she was cleaning her aunt's home in Dilworth after she passed away and found a cache of ammo including 247 shotgun shells and 142 long rifle rounds in the attic. The woman said she didn't even know her aunt even owned a gun, and that she wanted to turn in the ammunition because she didn't know what else to do with it.

Animorph Employees at the Humane Society of Charlotte near Dilworth filed a police report last week after realizing that someone had accepted some drugs that were meant for animals. The employees reported that a shipment of injectable morphine had apparently been intercepted, as they did not receive it even though someone had signed for it when UPS delivered it. The employees did not recognize the signature and have no idea who might have accepted the package. As high as that person is right now they probably don't know who they are, either.

Senior Prank Police responded to Eastway Middle School last week after what started as a prank turned into something more serious. Employees told officers that someone lit a firework and threw it into a trash can, where it then lit the contents of the trash can on fire, leading staff to evacuate the school altogether.

Take That A 40-year-old man in north Charlotte called police after a man allegedly assaulted him last week, even though he technically was never touched. The man stated in the report that the suspect assaulted him by knocking his hat off with a stick, which leads us to picture siblings in the back of a car arguing over who's really touching who.

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