The Blotter: Burrito Bomb 

No Service Sometimes you just want to throw your phone against a wall when it's acting up, and sometimes other people want to do it for you. A 55-year-old woman in Uptown fell victim to the latter last week, and now she's out an $800 phone. It's unclear why the incident happened — whether there was an argument that preceded it or whether the suspect simply wanted to smash something — but the victim reported that she was standing on South Tryon Street at around 11 p.m. one night when the suspect suddenly turned and approached the victim, took her phone from her hand and threw it against the side of a brick building, smashing the screen to pieces.

Return to Sender Police responded to an assault with a deadly burrito call at Taco Bell last week after a customer became irate with the service staff there and took matter into — then out of — his own hands. A call came in at around 10 p.m. one night asking officers to respond to the Taco Bell on Sugar Creek Road after an angry customer from the drive-thru line threw his bag of food through the window. Things could have gotten more serious from there, since the man left his car and tried to enter the building, but luckily they were closed for the night. He then kicked the glass door, shattering it and doing $350 in damage, before leaving the scene.

Motherly Love Never bite the hand that feeds you, but if it's the hand that you birthed and raised through childhood, chomp away. That was one woman's take on things when she assaulted her own daughter in the Belmont neighborhood last week — and on the day after Christmas, of all days. According to the report, police responded to a call in which a 36-year-old woman reported being bitten multiple times by the suspect and had visible signs of injury. Police quickly found that the suspect was the victim's mother, and the two had lived together for 17 of the last 18 years.

Sweet Nectar A man in the Newell area of north Charlotte must have been mighty thirsty last week, as he risked a long prison sentence for a small bottle of orange juice. An employee at Dollar General told police that the suspect entered the store at around 1 p.m. one day last week and pointed a gun at him, demanding an orange juice. He got away, and that must have been a damn good celebratory sip once he got to safety.

Motorboat A Mountain Island Lake man is probably kicking himself that he didn't take his boat out of the water for the winter after it was burglarized one recent afternoon. The thief must have figured they wouldn't be bothered, since it's safe to say nobody would be using the boat in late December, and they were right. The victim recently found that, at some point between November 23 and December 23, someone made off with the $1,000 Yamaha motor that was attached to his 14-foot jon boat, leaving him high and dry.

Sabotage With the recent cold temperatures, it's a good idea to let the faucets drip overnight to stop your pipes from freezing, but if someone has shoved a piece of wood into said pipe, it probably wont make much difference. That's what happened at one man's home in the Ardrey Kell area of south Charlotte last week. The 48-year-old victim told police that he woke up on the day after Christmas to find that his water wasn't running correctly, only to investigate further and find that someone had shoved a wooden block into a water pipe below the house, doing $180 in damage.

Trippy Police responded to the 901 Place apartments on Forty Niner Avenue near UNC Charlotte recently to find the most stereotypically college report of a break-in one could hope to find. According to the report, a 20-year-old woman and her roommate said that someone broke into their apartment at some point during the week while they were both out of town for Christmas and stole two items: a vacuum cleaner and a lava lamp.

The Humanity Sometimes we like to recognize the good when it pops up in police reports, as rarely as it happens. Staff with Habitat for Humanity lived up to the company's name recently after finding a homeless person sleeping in a home they were building for another family in need. According to the police report, the man was found sleeping in a home under construction in west Charlotte. When Habitat for Humanity, which owned the home, was contacted, they refused to press charges, stating that the suspect was just trying to get warm three days after Christmas.

The Inhumanity In a less wholesome construction story than the one told above, a local company whose job it is to hire out skilled laborers made a couple year-end discoveries last week about dishonest employees, one much more so than the other. Someone in accounting at Tradesmen International was probably going through the books and tying up all the financial loose ends for the year last week when they found some ends that were loose to the point of fraying. The company reported two of its employees for embezzling money by claiming to have worked hours that they didn't actually work. While one employee faked $640 worth of work, his more ambitious coworker faked his way to $5,255. That sort of effort is worth a raise.

All stories are pulled from police reports at CMPD headquarters. Suspects are innocent until proven guilty.