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The Blotter: Drive Thru 

Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (July 27-Aug. 2)

For Wendy Customers at a Wendy's on Charlottetowne Avenue got more than they bargained for when they went for a late-night snack at the Elizabeth fast food joint last week. Employees would later tell police that there was an intoxicated man there causing a disturbance and he was eventually told to leave and not come back. But he came back alright, as witnesses and employees told police that he returned to the property and pulled out his penis in a way to create a worse disturbance than he had the first time.

For Good Measure A 20-year-old woman ended up with a roll of no-good money last week after attempting to sell her iPad in west Charlotte. She told police she met with someone to sell the iPad after meeting them online and they tried to give her $500 in obviously counterfeit bills. When she raised the issue, the suspect not only didn't return the iPad, but stole the real $50 that she had brought to give them as change.

McLovin' An 18-year-old dude in Ballantyne decided that since he had recently reached adulthood, he should be allowed all the pleasures that come along with it, regardless of the law. The suspect walked into a gas station and saw a police officer standing there, but being a resident of south Charlotte, decided he couldn't be bothered with rules and whatnot so he went ahead and purchased a 12 pack of beer. The officer later said that the man looked remarkably young so he followed him out of the store and asked him for his ID. He at first showed the officer his so-called ID, which was from Pennsylvania. The farce didn't last long, however, as at the first sign of skepticism from the officer, the suspect admitted that he was only 18 and that it was a fake.

Smash and Plunge A 25-year-old woman called police last week after her attempt to live with her child's father went unsurprisingly wrong. She would later tell police that she was staying for the week at the northeast Charlotte house when her former lover's new girlfriend became upset about the new house guest. The suspect then used a toilet plunger to smash the mother's car windshield, before trying to flee into her own car. She didn't make it far, however, as she crashed into the victim's car before she was able to make it out of the yard.

FOMO Police responded to a call about a fight in the yard of an east Charlotte home last week after a girl got beat up, but she had nearly missed out on all the fun. Police arrived just before midnight and spoke with the girl who lived at the home where the fight broke out. She told officers she had been sleeping but was awoken by a phone call from a group of girls she knew. The girls told her they had just come by her house to fight her but she hadn't answered the door. They then informed her, "Don't worry, we're coming back now." [Fabricated quote] According to the report, "That is when the victim came outside and began to fight two of the five girls in the vehicle." The report stated that she suffered no injuries, so she must have done alright for herself.

Ungrateful A 48-year-old woman filed a police report after the home she was leasing out to her son was damaged by a house guest she knew nothing about. The woman told police her son was living in the southwest Charlotte home but had recently allowed a stranger to live with him. That same stranger showed his thanks by damaging the woman's furniture and making off with a ton of other stuff. The woman reported that the suspect poured water all over two sofas and three beds, doing $10,000 in damage. He also stole a TV, clothing, jewelry and a cellphone, worth more than $8,000 total, and $500 worth of what the woman called "heirloom toys."

Cord Cutters Some strangers did a similar amount of damage to a home in Ballantyne recently, but to the homeowner's credit, they weren't invited house guests this time. The 33-year-old man called police after someone broke into his home and did thousands of dollars worth of damage. He reported that the suspect(s) did $5,000 worth of damage to his bamboo flooring, sliced his couch up and broke his shop vac and power saw. For good measure, the vandal also cut the cord to the man's refrigerator, forcing the man to buy a new one or simply go without cold food.

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