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Dating and Mating
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Dating and Mating / Guest Blogger Meeting your Match
Posted By Web Editor on Tue, Mar 22, 2011 at 10:26 AM
My mother met my father 30-plus years ago when dating entailed dinner dates, goodnight phone calls and having her home by 11. Unfortunately, for those of us living in this modern-day idea of romance, the dinner dates are now drinks at the bar, goodnight phone calls are texts and 11 is when the fun begins. Not to mention, who’s got time to date?
Meet my mentor: Brittney Cason, whose career leaves her traveling so much she spends most of her spare time in airports and sleeps in hotel beds more than her own. Sometimes I wonder if she isn't just a professional gypsy. So when does my career-driven boss have time to even consider dating? Exactly … so this is where I step in, and add to my list of duties as the intern.
If you watch any amount of TV you’ll see your fair share of online dating commercials. Not only do these success stories pack the “true love conquers all” mentality, they do it with good-looking couples. I’m sold. So, working undercover I got busy and signed my hectic boss up on Match.com.
I’m a rookie at the online dating, but I thought: how hard could it be? Apparently, not that easy. When doing the initial set-up, I gave generic answers and didn't upload a photo to keep it anonymous (and to cover my ass in case she gets mad). When I clicked “Send for Approval,” I didn’t expect the response I later received in e-mail form:
“Thank you for submitting your profile on Match.com. Unfortunately, we are unable to approve it at this time, because part of your profile text was unintelligible or repetitious.”
Hold up Match.com, I’m not so sure I like your tone.
So I spent an hour editing her profile to adhere to their standards. I hope the guys on here aren't as high-maintenance as the site itself.
The questions are somewhat challenging; for example: Tell us about your favorite music, TV shows, food, etc. etc. ... in no more than 250 characters.
Yes, that says characters, not words. So, let me get this straight Match.com: you want people to describe themselves in 250 letters? Who are you kidding?
But 250 characters later, I’m now the self-proclaimed matchmaker in Brittney’s life. That is, unless she kills me. Because this is the first she’s hearing about it. Stay tuned to see how the Brittney Cason online dating saga plays out … or if I still have a job.
— Jordan Bullington
Monday, March 21, 2011
Dating and Mating / Sex and the Queen City / Don't Do This The best gift a man can give a girl ...
Posted By Brittney Cason on Mon, Mar 21, 2011 at 9:36 AM
... is a bottle of conditioner.
I’ve dated all kinds of men, all who had different means of displaying their love and affection.
From the guy who gave me the Sex and the City DVD box set on our third date to whatever Tiffany's jewelry is being advertised for any given holiday. The best gift I’ve ever gotten from a guy, however, was my own toothbrush and bottle of conditioner in his bathroom.
Not only is it a thoughtful, cute gift, but it's a way of showing a girl that he not only wants her around, but that she’s the only girl that he has around. 'Cause not too many guys use conditioner, and having some in the shower is a tell-tale sign that a woman showers there.
Ladies, don’t underestimate the sincerity of toiletries as a gift. Sure, jewelry is nice, but its value is nothing compared to that of true love from a guy. Actions speak louder than words ... and gifts.
A nice gift isn’t a supplement of emotions, and investing in a present will not increase your stock if you're not investing your time. A token of affection isn’t just some generic fancy gift bought because he has a lot of tokens to spend. It’s a thoughtful, meaningful act of love and token of affection. Such as putting conditioner in his shower so you can spend the night there and shower before you go have breakfast together.
I’d rather be taken on vacation than have some shiny necklace that is too nice to wear anyway. And who needs to be wined and dined when you can make homemade dinners together.
Real women don’t want to be spoiled with nice presents if there's no real thought behind it. They want their men to spoil them with adventures and time spent together. What we need from men is not available in stores — you can't put love on a credit card.
If men realized this, they’d save a lot of money and invest in a better class of women. Consider that like an insider trading tip, fellas.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Dating and Mating / Shit Brittney Says 'That little girl could end up dating my future ex-husband one day'
Posted By Brittney Cason on Fri, Mar 18, 2011 at 11:24 AM
I had the most horrible thought the other day.
I was walking through Freedom Park (OK, I was actually rollerblading through the park — don’t judge me) when I saw a little girl running around playing. The thought crossed my mind: That little girl could end up dating my future ex-husband one day. Assuming I marry someone my own age.
Think about it …
The last guy I was into was in his forties. I was 13 when he was my age. I wasn’t even born when he started having sex.
It’s disgusting really … if a woman dates a younger guy, then she’s a cougar or just an old maid. But when a guy does it, he’s "the man." But it’s actually kind of perverted if you think about it. I mean, this girl is like 7 years old and could, feasibly, end up dating one of my guy friends now.
Meanwhile, my fetish for older men is partaking in this problem. I would never be a homewrecker by any means, but by dating older men, I am taking them off the market for single women their own age. Are there not enough men to go around? Or do women have to share them?
I know why I date older men … I’ll spare you my psychobabble "It’s a supplemental father figure" speech. But every woman needs that in her life, and she is going to get it somehow. So, perhaps some of these guys should stop dating girls young enough to be their daughters, and start being better fathers.
I just never really thought about how it hurts the moms out there, until a cougar roared at me about it. She might not have been as violent as the girls who jumped me in high school for a different form of dating discrimination, but she made her point.
I don’t discriminate. I am an equal opportunity dater, but I also don’t want to discriminate against my own kind … women.
Newsflash: We all get older. If a man leaves a woman for getting older in order to date younger women, that’s just a sign that he hasn’t grown up and needs someone on his maturity level. And that his daughter shouldn't bring her friends over to his house.
But who cares if we grow old … isn’t that the point of sharing your life with someone, to have someone to grow old with?
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Dating and Mating / She Said The Bachelor really is reality, off camera
Posted By Brittney Cason on Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 2:09 PM
Reality TV isn’t always realistic. But in Emily Maynard and Brad Womack’s case, something really real came out of The Bachelor season 15 … them! I ran into the couple in Austin during SXSW last night at Chuggin Monkeys, one of Brad’s bars in Austin. And not only are they real, they are so happy and in love, they almost made me gag. She introduced me to him and he greeted me the same way all my friends' husbands do when they meet one of her friends: he treated me like one of his own.
Who is anyone to judge Emily or Brad and their relationship? None of us have walked in Emily’s stilettos. Our inner critic is harsh enough on us — no one deserves to be publically judged by strangers.
Emily and I first met during a Remembering Ricky Hendrick event, hosted by the Hendricks. I saw her after she had left 3 Wide Life and when I suggested she come back and co-host the show, she said she was working at the Children’s Hospital … and then asked me if I knew any nice guys to introduce her to because she was ready to date. All the more reason for her to go on The Bachelor.
Dating is hard enough. So let’s all just be happy for her that her brush with fame ended in love.
Oh, and if you're interested in keeping up with Emily on Twitter, you can follow her at her real handle, @rickismommy. (Fake handles include @msemilymaynard and @emilymaynard — creepy!)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Single-Taken-It's Complicated / Dating and Mating The 'Filler Man'
Posted By Brittney Cason on Thu, Mar 10, 2011 at 2:48 PM
Floral bouquets have filler flowers, radio shows have filler music, newspapers have filler ads … and in some cases, women have filler men and men have filler women.
Fillers exist to add a little something in order to cover or mask a bare area. Men serve that purpose for women who have yet to settle down, the itch to, but refuse to settle. And women serve that purpose for men who want a woman's touch, but without keeping his hands full.
Because what's the point of making a commitment to someone unless you see a future with them? But then again, what's the point of filling your time with a carnation and not leaving space for a rose?
Instant gratification isn't always the most gratifying.
Whether you need someone to keep your feet warm at night or hook up your new flat screen to your X-Box Kinect, the filler can fill whatever void the single person has.
It’s a lackadaisical relationship — one for which you can make an option rather than a priority.
But they're about as pointless as carnations and background noise. Why not fill your time with people that will affect your future? Oh, I don't know, like YOURSELF! Call me crazy, but I'd much rather be alone doing things that will enhance my future than waste my time with some filler guy who I can't see having a future with.
Besides, you don't want to be too busy with Mr. Right Now when Mr. Right comes along, do you? Do you want to be filled with love, or just fill the void?
You are enough to fill your bouquet. And if it is full of carnations, pick the weeds and make room for a rose.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Dating and Mating / Don't Do This My love affair with TSA
Posted By Brittney Cason on Tue, Mar 1, 2011 at 3:52 PM
Between the book tour, shooting 3 Wide Life and my career as a professional gypsy in general, I’ve been spending a lot of time on the road — or up in the air, rather. And at airports. Last week, I even had a layover in Charlotte going from Daytona to Austin. I’ve been traveling so much lately, I’m starting to say things like, “What time zone is it?”
… and the most action I’ve gotten is a TSA pat-down.
I am beginning to feel as though I am having a love affair with the TSA. As many of their members who have seen me naked (those in Charlotte, Milwaukee, Denver, Miami, and now, Texas), I kinda feel like a TSA whore, like a girl they just pass around.
Why is it that I have to get a body scan so often when going through airport security? Do I look like a terrorist? Do I walk like I’m smuggling illegal substances in my vagina? I mean, I do confuse people with my ethnicity; I’ve been asked if I was Persian and Cuban before.
On the way home to Charlotte, after stripping down to my bare feet, the guy monitoring the metal detector stopped me from passing and escorted me into the space shuttle-looking contraption where they strip you naked with X-ray vision.
Not again ...
But the thing is, I have the remains of a peace sign vajazzled on me. I couldn’t help but wonder if that’s what made me suspect. And how that is going to look to them on X-ray.
After I collected my bags, and put my clothes back on, I asked the guy running the body scans if I could have a copy of the X-rays to send my Orthopedic doctor. I’m due a round of them with him and I figured this could save money on the medical bill. It was the least they could do for turning me into an X-ray rated Playboy bunny. I wonder how much radiation I’ve had to take in from these photo shoots.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Dating and Mating / Sex and the Queen City / Random.com Guys respond to my 'vajazzling'
Posted By Brittney Cason on Mon, Feb 28, 2011 at 12:33 PM
On Valentine’s Day, I got the following e-mail from a guy friend:
Subject Line: Happy Va-jay-jay Day
Welcome to Austin Britt! Here’s a coupon for a $5 Swarovski Vajazzle with a Brazilian wax, with love.
The forwarded message from the Waxing Studio included a link to a video of Jennifer Love Hewitt talking to George Lopez about how she thinks every woman should get vajazzled. What is she,The Ghost and Vagina Whisperer?
Vajazzling is basically bedazzling your vagina. Kinda like going to Michael's and buying gems to hot glue to your vagina. I’ve always wanted to have a jewel-encrusted vagina.
"That is a horrible idea" … "Won’t the beads rub against our skin?" … "If I saw a girl with rhinestones on her vagina, I’d ask to see her ID to make sure she was over 13” — these are the sentiments I got from my guy friends.
And then they bet me I wouldn't do it … which made me want to. “You might as well give herself a little action down there,” they quipped. Considering I don’t have to worry about scaring or chaffing a guy, I agreed to their bet, demanding home-cooked Texas BBQ and a gift card to Whole Foods. Apparently I'll do anything if you feed me.
So last week I went to the Waxing Studio where Tiffany here laid out Swarovski crystals in the shape of Texas Longhorns, fireworks, shooting stars, and butterflies. I went with a blue peace sign. When she put on her latex gloves, I gripped myself for pain, like she was about to give me a Brazilian wax. But it didn’t hurt, and aside from having someone's hands on your genitals, it didn’t even feel uncomfortable. It’s basically like a temporary tattoo — a pornographic one. It just peels off a plastic film and sticks to your skin like a sticker. I suggested they get cat eyes designs — that might be festive.
The catch to the bet, however, was that I had to go out in downtown Austin that night and tell 5 random guys that I just got vajazzled and see how they responded ...
Random guy #1: "What is that?"
Random guy #2: "What the F%$& is that?"
Random guy #3: "Show me!" (I showed him my back as I walked away.)
Random guy #4: "Huh?"
Random guy #5: "Why?"
So the consensus is ... what's the point? My peace sign vajayjay adornment was more the butt of a joke than it was sexy. It lasted all of five days, losing a rhinestone here or there. Now I won't scare off a guy ... with my vajazzle at least.
I gave my intern, Jordan, the assignment to find a place in Charlotte that offers Vajazzling. Once she reconsidered why on earth she works for me, she searched to no avail, even calling Vajazzle themselves, sitting on hold for two hours. Either this is really a new craze, or their call center is understaffed. Get on it Charlotte salons. *wink*
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Dating and Mating / Sex and the Queen City Is attraction a scientific equation or a sixth sense?
Posted By Brittney Cason on Tue, Feb 22, 2011 at 3:13 PM
What initiates that initial attraction reaction we have towards certain people ... and not others? Is there a chemical formula in our pheromones that bonds with some people and repels others? Is there some sort of scientific equation that they left out of our college biology curriculum?
Ever wonder why in a crowd of people there are few strangers that you are instinctively drawn to? Why do we even have a "type"?
And why am I attracted to older men, while the friend to my left is attracted to pretty frat boys, and the friend to my right attracted to geeks? And why is the guy over there only attracted to skinny blondes, and his friend curvy brunettes?
What attracts us to other people?
Consider this my thesis on the study of attraction. The following quotes are derived from my focus groups on the subject.
The Sixth Sense
“The way this girl smelled appealed to my senses.” – some dude
It makes perfect sense that a person is attracted to someone via a smell they radiate. After all, we are animals; many breeds of animals in the wild tend to sniff out a mate to mate with, literally. But isn’t there also usually something about the way someone looks, talks, feels and tastes that has you infatuated? Those are our senses, and perhaps attraction is our sixth one.
The Forbidden Fruit
“I like the thrill of the hunt.” — female lions and male predators
"Let a guy chase you until you catch him." — my mother
... And shit my dad says: "The trick is finding a person you can fart in front of."
Why do you think Romeo and Juliet liked each other so much ... were they really soulmates or was that just an open-and-shut case of forbidden fruit complex? What makes the unattainable so attractive? Why do we want what we can't have when we can have something that wants us?
The Gilbert Theory (named after my friend Laura who came up with it)
"We tend to be attracted to someone we see as better than us … whether it be hotter, smarter, richer, nicer. A partner that will counteract our insecurities and weaknesses."
So I guess that is what Jerry Maguire meant when he said that famous line, "You complete me." Perhaps we naturally attract someone with the genetics we would breed well with — the ying to our yang.
The Shallow End
Attracted only to attractiveness
"I like a girl with a big ass." — Some douchebag at Butter
"A flashy guy. Nice ride, big house." — Some shallow soul who would date the douchebag at Butter
“A good job” or “In shape”
Is this shallow? Not exactly. A good job is a sign of ambition, success and motivation — not just a paycheck. And being in shape is a sign of healthy living — and typically someone who does their body good, will do yours as well. *wink*
“I only attract emotionally unavailable men.” – Too many women that deserve better
"I apparently like bitches" — The nice guys that finish last
Like attracts like ... don't be an asshole and be attracted to assholes
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Single-Taken-It's Complicated / Dating and Mating / Blind Leading the Blind Like attracts like: Assholes attract assholes
Posted By Brittney Cason on Wed, Feb 16, 2011 at 3:08 PM
“I am flypaper for freaks” … “Why can’t I get a good guy?” … “Only assholes are attracted to me”
Those are the sentiments that tend to be discussed at most girls' night.
I’ve spent most of my life wondering why I can’t seem to find a good guy, and I think I finally figured it out: because like attracts like. It’s the law of attraction … literally.
You get back what you put out. So that means if you’re only attracting assholes, then either that’s what you want (and you’re a masochist) — or that’s what you are, thus that’s what you get.
The last guy I dated (whatever “dating” means) was a lot like me. We got each other and understood one another’s hectic lifestyles and off-the-wall sense of humor. I thought that was a good thing. Boy was I wrong.
Like Tucker Max said in his book Assholes Finish First, “Show me a genuinely funny person without emotional issues and I’ll introduce to you my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.”
He has a point.
People tend to use humor to help them carry their emotional baggage — being funny to mask and over-compensate their true feelings.
But his emotional baggage, though designer and easy to carry, was still baggage, and in turn he lied like a Persian rug on a rich man’s floor, to hide his truth not only from me, but from himself. After I peeled off the first layer of his façade, I saw him for who he was … an asshole.
Shit, does this mean I’m an asshole, too? Like does attract like, after all.
I realized that I have in fact treated guys the way he treated me, like an option versus a priority. I've taken advantage of and lied to guys before, even cheated on one. And so I had made my bed and I was lying in it … alone.
Karma is a bitch, and apparently so am I.
So if you want a good person who is going to treat you right, you have to be that good person. Not just to the person you’re with, but everyone.
Don’t lie to people and you won’t be lied to. Don’t use people and you won’t be used. Don’t deceive and you won’t have to dance with deception. Don’t cheat and you won’t be cheated. Don’t hate and you will have love. Simple as that.
Follow the golden rule and treat people the way you want to be treated, and you’ll be golden!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Dating and Mating A speedy Valentine's date
Posted By Brittney Cason on Mon, Feb 14, 2011 at 3:36 PM
Normally I would complain about having to spend Valentine’s Day in Austin, Texas, with the likes of Tucker Max. But considering he's helping me prepare my book for publishing, it's the best Valentine's ever.
Well, kinda ...
Friday night I was sitting alone at a coffee shop/bar in downtown Austin, drinking a spiked coffee while entrenched in the edits Tucker assigned me, when a guy plopped down in the extra chair at my table. In a deep English accent he introduced himself, “I'm Eddie, what’s your name?”
I peered over my computer screen, “Ummmm … Brittney.”
"What are you working on?" he asked.
My train of thought was completely ruined, and I was irritated that he'd so boldly interrupted me. What do you want, dude? I'm just working on the biggest project of my life and have five minutes to finish it. I'm not busy or anything.
But I tried to be friendly and threw some closed-ended answers at him: “Some writings.”
"Oh really ... what are you writing?"
"A book."
He sat there for five minutes asking random questions that I responded to with one-word answers. Soon, a buzzer goes off — I assumed it was coming from the noisy downtown streets beyond the open doors 10 feet from me.
“OK, nice to meet you,” he said, getting up from the chair he invited himself to sit down in.
“Oooo… K then, you too,” I responded, rolling my eyes at him as he turns around to sit at another table where another girl sat alone. Maybe she'll want to talk to you — weirdo.
The chair still warm from Eddie's ass, another guy moseyed on up and copped a squat. What is up with the guys in Austin? Is this standard procedure down here? The place is packed so maybe he just needs a seat. But he didn't even have ask. Chivalry is an endangered species, I swear.
“Hey, I’m Jim.”
