Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Warning: Beware of Sharia turkeys!

Posted By on Wed, Nov 23, 2011 at 1:24 PM

  • Chuck Kennedy / Shutterstock

I bet you thought the only things that could go wrong at Thanksgiving were eating yourself sick, or having to entertain that weird uncle who always shows up uninvited. Well you thought wrong! Now, you have to worry about Sharia turkeys.

That’s the word from the people who are scared shitless of Muslims — you know, Sue Myrick, the “Ground Zero Mosque” dolts, etc. They want you to know that if you eat a Butterball turkey, you’ll be helping terrorists take over America! No, I’m not kidding — the wingnuts have developed a fresh new strain of paranoia, just in time for the holidays.

According to Mother Jones, Pamela Geller, the rabidly anti-Muslim blogger behind much of the Ground Zero Mosque nonsense, is “warning” her followers that Butterball turkeys are “certified halal,” and thus will help to install Sharia as the supreme law of the land in the United States. Again, I wish I was kidding, but I’m not.

Saying that a food is “halal” is akin to judging foods to be “kosher”; they are both based on scriptural instructions regarding the proper preparation of foods; foods that are halal are prepared according to Muslim rules, and kosher foods are prepared according to Jewish rules. No biggie, right? We-e-l-l-l-l, that’s where you’re mistaken, Mr. or Ms. Inadvertent Terrorist! Geller writes, “In a little-known strike against freedom, yet again, we are being forced into consuming meat slaughtered by means of a torturous method: Islamic slaughter.”

In response to this imminent terrorist danger, Robert Spencer, a Geller disciple, started the Boycott Butterball Turkey Facebook page — that’ll show ‘em. Another Muslim-obsessed blogger writes, “Be advised: every single Butterball turkey sold in America this Thanksgiving has been sacrificed to Allah first.”
Geller urges everyone, in the name of all that’s holy, to contact Butterball now and tell them to quit selling these treasonous birds!

Non-Muslims in America and Europe don’t deserve to have halal turkey forced upon them in this way, without their knowledge or consent. So this Thanksgiving, fight for your freedom. Find a non-halal, non-Butterball turkey to celebrate Thanksgiving this Thursday. And write to Butterball and request, politely but firmly, that they stop selling only halal turkeys, and make non-halal turkeys available to Americans who still value our freedoms.

Because as we all know, the very definition of American freedom is eating a turkey that no Muslim would want. If we don’t act now on this momentous issue, the next thing you know, Santa Claus will be forced to give up his sleigh in favor of a camel.

Boycott Butterball, or this is what Christmas will look like next month!!!
  • Boycott Butterball, or this is what Christmas will look like next month!!!

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