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The Blotter 

* A car was stolen from a luxury car lot. It was some car, as it was valued at $44,000, while just the keys to the car were valued at $500.

* A man stole 36 beers from a gas station, walking straight out the door, as he has done on "numerous occasions" according to a witness.

* Speak over the Phone, Bring a Big Stick: A man called another man and told him he was going to beat him up. The caller then showed up at the other man's house with a stick, at which point the man called the police.

* I Love You! I Choke You!: A woman's ex-boyfriend came into her house and started to choke her. He was upset over their recent break-up and stated that he loved her, while choking her. He let her go at some point and on his way out he punched two holes in the door. He must have loved the door, too.

* A father and son threatened a man because he wouldn't sell them drugs.

* A man was caught shoplifting a mouth-guard, but because he had no I.D. on him, they hauled him off to jail, where, one can only hope, he will find some use for his new mouth-guard.

* A man threatened to "take out" a police officer while being arrested. Police officers, no matter how lonely, usually cannot be swayed by the offer of a date.

* A couple of guys got into a wreck. One of the guys was in a major hurry, it seemed, and he offered to leave some numbers before he left. When the other guy said this would not be satisfactory, the first guy left without leaving any information.

* Some man called a woman and told her: "If I see any kids around my house, I will shoot them."

* A woman was smacked in the back of the head by an unknown man.

*A guy's car was stolen from his driveway. He had left the keys on the kitchen counter and when he woke up in the morning, he found that his car, his keys, and his two friends who had been spending the night were all missing. He says that he and the suspect "have been friends for years, but he does not know his name."

* A man confronted his wife about her rampant drug use and she attacked him, biting and scratching him in what may have been a drug-deprivation-induced frenzy.

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