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The Blotter 

WHERE'S THE KRYPTONITE?: A woman called police to report being threatened by a friend. According to the report, the other woman told her, "Once I snort my cocaine in my nose, I'm going to come and fuck up your car. I'm going to beat your ass." The woman filing the report told police that when this other woman gets high on cocaine, she thinks she's Superwoman.

MIKE TYSON WANNABE: A girl was sent to the principal's office recently for disciplinary reasons. While the principal was lecturing her, another student stopped in front of the office window and looked in on the girl. Seeing this, the girl jumped up, ran to the window, and threw her fist through it. Afterward she told her classmate, "Look what happen."

GRANNY DON'T PLAY: An elderly man was rushed to the hospital with serious injuries after his wife beat him repeatedly with her walking cane.

PARTY INVITATION: Someone threatened another by telling him that: Everyone is really mad at you. Be careful, or we're all going to hit you.

HOME SWEET HOME: Over the course of a few days, five under-construction homes were robbed and vandalized. There was $450 worth of damage done to the homes, and $1,756 in appliances stolen including four stoves, a refrigerator, and three toilets.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: You need to be killed. There is no use for you in this world.

DON'T BUG ME: One Charlotte resident phoned the police to report that someone stole all the in-ground termite traps around his home. The report valued the traps at an astronomical $1.

JUST BITTER, BEER FACE?: Medics were called to the scene of a supposed panic attack. While they were attempting to administer care, the panicked person grabbed an empty beer can and threw it at one of the medical personnel's face. The medic said he would press charges.

MAKE YOUR OWN SAND TRAP: A man who owns an $8,500 golf cart reported it stolen. The pricey cart, which has a dump trailer attached to it, was taken from a locked storage shed. There were no signs of forcible entry.

BONUS QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Your kids will look bad with black eyes, bitch. I will put you six feet under! I'm serious, I'll put you six feet under. I don't care about the damn police. Fuck jail. I'll put you six feet under.

Blotter items are chosen from the file of the Charlotte Police Department.

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