My friend X and I went to the Charlotte Bobcats game this week and after watching the Bobcats beat the Chicago Bulls, we headed back to our car. Along the way X saw a hot dog stand and wanted to stop.

Of course, I didn't. I have no love for processed meat. We approached the stand, which was along Fifth Street and there was a couple in front of us. The man was watching his woman as she took her hot dog from the vendor. X nudged me.

"What?" I whispered.

"Do you see how he's watching her?"

"Umm, yeah, so? Maybe he wanted his hot dog first."

"Nope. He's thinking about what she's going to do to him when they get home. The way a woman eats a hot dog has a lot to do with how she gives head."

"Sort of like the banana test, huh?" I asked as I found myself drawn to looking at the woman chowing down on her dog. "How would you rate her?"

He smirked. "She seems to be all teeth."

"So, you think that's a look of fear on his face?" We both looked at the man and X nodded.

"He's been bit before." We laughed, but it got me to thinking. When you eat a hot dog you are supposed to be all teeth. I told X that after he got his dog and ate it in three bites. (He is greedy as hell.)

His response:

"You're a woman and you know when you all eat around us, you're trying to show off and entice us. I've seen girls make the ketchup and mustard drip down the side of the bun just to lick it off. They want to show what they can do with their tongue. The ones who get chili on their fingers and suck it off, they are the ones who make your dick hard."

Wow.

It was a look that bordered on shock and disgust. But to the woman causing her friend to feel that way, she seemed oblivious.

"And last night, I think he actually tried every position in the Karma Sutra," she said, tossing her head back. "We were watching porn and there was a couple doing the 69. It had been a long time since I gave [him] a blow job because if he cums in my mouth, when we get to having sex it's just three pumps and done."

Her friend's face was totally red, I just couldn't tell if she was embarrassed or angry. Then again, it was possibly both.

But Miss Motormouth continued talking. "We tried out the silicone lube for anal last night and it was as if I had a pussy in the back, I was so wet."

"Seriously!" her friend exclaimed. "You know I have to see [your boyfriend] again. Why are you telling me all of this?"

Miss Motormouth dropped her head. "I was just so excited."

Ever since Sex in The City, so many women want to take bedroom talk out into the public. It's great that women can be candid and talk about sex, but in the middle of a crowed coffee shop or restaurant? It's a little too much. We all can't be Samantha Jones. Some times, you just have to shut up.

L swore she would never date a man with kids. She said she didn't have any, so shouldn't her mate be in the same boat.

Besides, she said, she'd dated one guy with two kids and the children weren't the problem it was their mom.

It seemed that whenever she was at her ex's place, the mother would call or show up with a child that just had to see his father. L wondered if there was more than co-parenting going on between the two of them. She got her answer after she dumped him and three weeks later he was married to his children's mother.

Two years later, L met Mr. Right. He was sexy, caring and to her dismay, a devoted father.

He and his ex wife share custody of their six-year-old son. Unlike her ex, L's new man has boundaries with his ex wife. Still, she was hesitant about being with this man. She thought she couldn't deal with the kid. But once she was introduced to him, she fell in like with him. She even played basketball with the little tyke.

But when her new man cancels a date because he can't find a baby sitter or when he comes over to her place with the little boy in tow, she wonders if this is the kind of relationship she can deal with. Selfish? Some may think so, but L doesn't want to get hurt by another family getting back together. And she know how she's supposed to approach dating this man.

I wondered if there were other women who had issues dating a single dad. And not just any single dad, but one who actually takes care of and spends time with his kids.

And you betcha, there are web sites out there with listings telling women like L how to date a single dad and be happy.

Ehow.com says:

Let him talk. Allowing him to chat about his kids and his life will give you a lot of information about the scenario you are walking into. A single dad who talks about his kids and is involved in their life is a good sign.

And there this bit of information is something a lot of women seem to skip over.

Show courtesy to the mom, if she is involved. This woman is not your competition, but she is a constant and equal part in the children's lives. Even if the divorced mom and dad do not get along, it is not your place to be involved.

Dad's House, a blog written by a divorced father, says:

You might find the early stages are different for dating a single dad vs. dating a man without kids. Single dads can move more slowly when it comes to love. Part of this might be a hesitation to get romantically involved, exposing himself to the potential of getting hurt. But it might just be his schedule.

• If he has 50/50 custody, he won’t be free every weekend. Expect him to call you within a week of your first date, but don’t feel slighted if it takes 2 weeks or more for a Friday night dinner to materialize. Your job: be patient with his schedule.

• If he has weekend custody, he’ll want to date on weeknights. It doesn’t mean he thinks less of you if he can only meet after work. He will likely want to wait before introducing you to his kids, to keep them off a dating rollercoaster. And he may not want to get a babysitter in the early stages of dating you. It’s nothing against you - he only gets to see his kids part time, and he wants to spend time with them. That he’s a family man is a good thing. Your job: make yourself available on weeknights.

• His free nights might not be date nights. Going out is more fun later in the week, but if he’s only free Monday and Tuesday nights, can you make an exception? There may not be clubbing, but there’s still plenty to do. Plus, restaurants and bars are a little quieter, giving you more one-on-one time to get to know him. Your job: go out with him on laundry night, and wash your clothes some other time.

Howtodothings.com says dating a single father "a lot of patience, understanding and selflessness."

Don't Try To Be a New Mommy. Unless the two of you are getting married, or he's a widow and you're adopting his child, that child (or children) already has a mom. It is not your place to discipline them. And be careful about handing out your expert advice that you saw on Dr. Phil. Parents can be sensitive, especially when someone who doesn't have kids tells them what they are doing wrong. You can offer to help, but leave the down and dirty to Dad.

Don't Expect All of His Time. Keep your life busy because you will probably have some free time on your hands. That's FINE. One divorced dad told me he liked to date other women with kids from a previous marriage. That way she had her kids every other weekend and didn't expect to see him as much. A father may have his children two weekends a month and maybe even want some alone time or to see his buddies. Hey, that's fair! So, having your own life and your own plans can also be very attractive to a man with limited time and energy.

His Kids are Number One in His Book. Never for a moment think that you are going to come first. His child is and should be his priority. You must honor that. Never ever compete with his children for his time or affection. You try and you will lose. If you understand that at the beginning, you will be less likely to take it personally or sometimes feel rejected. And if for some reason his kids don't come first, what kind of man is that?

If you can handle what dating a single father entails, then you may have the best relationship with a great guy.

When my friend told me she wanted to have strap on sex, I was thought she was playing.

Then she went out and bought the strap on and an instructional video.

Now, she's looking for her one time fling chick, still.

At first, she said it was hard to find someone who didn't want to bring their boyfriend in to watch.

"This one woman," she said, "wanted her man to participate. I told her no thank you. Then she comes back with, well, he just wants to watch and play with himself."

"Maybe he's trying to learn something," I quipped. "So, when is all of this going to go down?"

"As soon as I find someone not married, crazy and understands what I mean by just the two of us."

"Married?" I asked, not trying to mask the shock in my voice. "You had a married woman want to do it?"

"Yes and since I've been cheated on, I had to turn her down."

Is this really cheating? I wondered. I have to respect my friend for having scruples, but she's not the one who took vows. I even wonder if it would've been safer to have this one time thing with a married woman who wouldn't want to ask you for your number or your real name.

Then again, the best laid plans often fall apart. This woman could be a serial cheater and her husband might have a PI watching her every move.

Anyway, my friend told me that she tried on her strap on. So, I had to ask.

"How did it feel to have a cock?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Until I stick it in something, I won't know."

Classic.

Last night my friend and I watched RENT on DVD since we couldn't make it to Ovens to see the stage production.

While watching the scene where Mimi tries to get Roger to take a chance on being with her, my friend turned to me and said, "Baggage is the reason I'm spending another Valentine's Day alone."

"Should I cue the Amy Winehouse?" I asked, thinking she was joking. But she wasn't.

"Once you reach a certain age, everybody has baggage. Men and women and it takes men a lot longer to let it go," she said.

"Well, I think everyone takes a longtime to let go of past hurt and the problem is, we wait until Hallmark starts shoving love down our throats to address it."

"And those damned 'Every Kiss begins with Kay' commercials."

"And," we said in unison, "he went to Jared."

"I hate those the most," I said.

But if we're all scared because of something that happened to us in the past, how do we move on to a future love? Are we doomed to a lifetime of meaningless sexual encounters and no love?

Don't get me wrong, having meaningless sex every now and then is all right--as long as you're safe and your partner is on the same page. But every player gets tired of playing and the party girl finds that her stilettos are too tight, then what?

I guess it's like Mimi says, "I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine."

But are there enough over head compartments to hold all of these bags?

Usher has a song called Trading Places.

While I don't like Usher's latest CD, this song got me thinking about the roles of men and women in relationships.

In the song, Usher says:

I'm always on top, tonight I'm on the bottom, cause we trading spaces.

Usher sounds like a boring controlling man! So, when a woman is on top, that's masculine? How about no. When a women is on top, she's getting direct clitoral stimulation, and for most women, that's a HUGE orgasm.

Usher says: When I can't take no more, tell me you ain't stopping. Cause we're trading places.

That sounds like Usher is a selfish man. When someone says "stop," it means they really want you to stop. When a woman is no longer wet, sex is painful! Stop means stop.

Usher says: I plan on waking you up to a cup of Folgers, Pancakes and eggs.

So, Usher can't spring for Starbucks? After all that work he made that woman put in, he's giving her Folgers?!? Usher, come on, you could've done better than this.

If you really wanted to step inside a "woman's role," maybe this video would be of more help. (Not safe for work, watch it at home people.)

But, do men in a relationship really want to be dominated by their women? Sure there are people in the BDSM lifestyle and that's their preference, but does a regular guy really want to reverse the roles with his partner?