There's no product I'd rather watch an hour-long infomercial for than Pink Diamond's "Double Ball/Dildo."

• twitter.com/FillyFilmsXXX

I can only imagine how this sex toy/exercise machine was conceived. Was the inventor inspired by a co-worker bouncing on the exercise ball she used as an office chair? Did he find his muse in a naked adult using a child's bounce ball? Or, did he simply see a woman in yoga pants grinding an exercise ball in his pilates class?

The Double Ball/Dildo is built to support up to 330 pounds of bouncing sexiness. Handles are provided so the user doesn't have to grip the ball with just her thighs like an overconfident sorority girl in a mechanical bull-riding contest. Of all the versatile things one can do with this sex machine - namely pounding vaginal and anal penetration - perhaps the most unique idea is described by Pink Diamond as follows:

"Couples can introduce the double bouncing dildo into sexplay as an interesting third party. She/he can experience double penetration without the presence of a second male/Female partner."

Pink Diamond has yet to release any "instructional" pictures or videos, nor are there any detailed exercise routines to help users get the most bang from their sexercise routines. However, there is some chatter on Twitter that Filly Films may feature these balls in an upcoming scene. Hopefully the video will help illuminate the debate as to whether these balls are actually pleasurable or if they fall flat.

To read more of Shawn Alff's writing, visit CL's sister paper in Tampa. You can also reach him on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or email him here.

One thing you can't say about Karrine Steffans is that she doesn't know about sex. She's made a career of kissing and telling — and then moving to instructing women how to release their inner vixens. In between releasing books, Steffans was tabloid fodder because of her relationships with the likes of Bill Maher and Darius McCrary (aka Eddie Winslow).

This August, Steffans will release SatisFaction, a hybrid of erotic fiction and sexual advice for couples who want more than missionary sex. In a press release, she said:

"Unlike my previous books, SatisFaction is a work of "faction," fact and fiction, hence the title's double entendre. You will be whisked away, into each chapter's bawdy fiction, enlightened by the chapter's scintillating examples of have to make each fantasy a reality, and then instructed how to he assured these highly adventurous fantasies don't go awry!"

While the advice in the book is well-researched, she tells couples to seek therapy before practicing BDSM and the like. Also, the short erotic stories are boring and more porno than erotica. I need characters to have names or I'm just going to assume that Steffans — who has told the world all about her sex life — is the female character in all the story. Sorry, Zane or Rachel Kramer Bussel she is not.

SatisFaction hits stores on August 10.

View the book trailer:

If you've been with your partner for a while,  your sex life is probably, surely boring. Want to spice things up, but you don't know where to start? Sex 365: Dare You To... is the guide for you.

It's a small and simple book that is more about the pictures than some opus about sexuality and things of that nature. If you're already an outgoing sex-olympic participant, beware: There's no BDSM — just a little light and flirty role play best designed for couples who are in a rut.

The book is written in a "him and her" style: the "her" side. for example, instructs the man on what he should do to get her off and vice versa. The book ends with a list of websites where you can buy some of the things suggested in the book as well as a "dare selector."

The dare selector is one of the more interesting things in the book because you close your eyes, pick a number and then do those things that night. This book is great conversation starter and bedside companion.

Here are the five best events to get you hot and bothered with or without a date going down in Charlotte and the surrounding area today, February 10, 2010 — as selected by the folks at Creative Loafing.

• Champagne Thursday at Club Onyx

• $5 Wet Pussy at Leather and Lace University (drink of the month)

• Kick Ass Filet at The Men's Club

• Blue Celebrates love, chocolate and Champagne pairing

• Uptown Thursday Night at Bar Charlotte

There isn't much the Japanese aren't ahead of us in. So, I'm not surprised by this sex toy called the Tenga Egg

Thanks to my Twitter friend, @BetterSex. Want to see more weird sex toys? Follow them.

Coffee is supposed to wake you up.

Now there's a new java drink that can steam up your sex life. It's called Magic Power Coffee.

The company's website says that this is a love potion that works.

Magic Power Coffee is the world’s first “aphrodisiac coffee”. Increase the sensation and the satisfaction of your love making, every time. All Natural - Magical Ingredients:

Magic Power Coffee's combination of natural herbs, vitamins and minerals has been shown to improve overall sexual experience. Our ingredients are combined using the highest quality standards. Through rigorous research and analysis we have created a safe and effective product. The magical ingredients in our proprietary formula include: Horny Goat Weed, Goji Berry & American Ginseng.

So, can a cup of coffee spice up your evening activities?

Well, it's a little hard to tell. I had a cup last night before visiting with the boy toy. Every time I see him, I get hot and horny. The sex did last longer and he asked me if I was trying to kill him.

The taste of the coffee is all right. If you're into instant coffee, you will love it. I prefer brewed java. What's great about this stuff is that even though you know there is more than just instant coffee in it, you don't taste it--unlike herbal tea.

It's worth a try. This weekend, I plan to let him in on the secret and try the sex again.

I came to work today.

And I mean it just as it sounds.

I was given a Rabbit Travel Vibe as a gift. The package says that it is "the world's most powerful rabbit vibrator." Guess what, this claim is right.

Here's how the travel vibe works: You plug it into your cigarette lighter or electrical outlet in your car — then slip the rabbit in your pants and turn it on. This 12-volt-power vibrator will have you driving through Charlotte traffic with a smile on your face. Due to the power of this toy, I'd suggest using it during light traffic patterns until you get used to feeling. You're going to come. And you're going to come hard.

I was halfway out of the parking lot before I had orgasm No. 1.

I can't wait to take this on the highway!